Jack Monroe #468 Remove my photo! Warned!

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Welcome to the latest review of the trials and tribulations of our plucky smol pixie

Special thanks to @Griftymcgriftface for the excellent thread title inspired by an angry blue squig flailing about the hellsite. You win a dusty carton of Aptamil from 2013 and a slightly rusty spoon.

After a shrieking melodramatic flounce off Twitter on Saturday night, our Jack hasn’t been seen. Well, not posting on her account anyway. She has however been gently, softly, quietly, liking posts and following and unfollowing people so we are thankful she is actually fine. So we’ve just been meandering through the archives.

Wiki up there on the pink button, thread titles after 500th post, no swears!

Please add to my poor recap 😊
 
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Thank god, I felt like I was in a dream hellsite in the last 12 hours of last thread.

Jack Monroe, where aaaaare you?
 
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I for one am waiting with bated breath for Jack and SB's winter Scottish camping adventure. I wonder when it'll start.
 
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Yikes. There's even a neckbeard squig offering to reimburse people scammed by Jack, at the same time as getting ratty with them for being upset at being scammed. It really is a cult! Everyone but Jack is to blame for Jack's actions. These men are the type that go to lap dancing clubs and think the dancers fancy them.
 
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It's the unquestioned minor inconsistencies of her backstory that are baffling and infuriating.
I was listening again to the Greenbelt talk. Crikey she lays on thick there. Crying. But come the s*icide attempt (about 20 mins in) -

she says she took 2 packets of sleeping pills, all her heart pills, two packs of paracetamol and drank a bottle of vodka. Seems trivial but where did she get vodka? She and SB were living on water and dry bread. When she went to the FB the day after she had a cup of tea 'for the first time in weeks'. It probably is explainable but just makes no sense. Possible reasons - A friend gave it? Why didn't they give them food instead? She shoplifted it? Why not food instead?
Also no mention AT ALL of SB's dad. Airbrushing him out was disgraceful of her. Utterly disgraceful.
 
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Yikes. I've just had a look at Twitter. It's a bin fire 😳. She's going to have to do a bit more than deploy Content. 'Fruit pastilles or jelly beans?' isn't going to cut it this time.
 
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Yikes. There's even a neckbeard squig offering to reimburse people scammed by Jack, at the same time as getting ratty with them for being upset at being scammed. It really is a cult! Everyone but Jack is to blame for Jack's actions. These men are the type that go to lap dancing clubs and think the dancers fancy them.
for the love of gods out-of-pocket squigs, please don't give this bloke your bank / Paypal details
 
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I for one am waiting with bated breath for Jack and SB's winter Scottish camping adventure. I wonder when it'll start.
Given that it has rained 147 days out of the last 150 here, and the whole of Ayrshire, Lanarkshire and Dunbartonshire are slowly sinking into the mud...I'd gently, sweetly, softly advise against it. I met two men coming off the West Highland Way at Milngavie the other day, and they were genuinely traumatised by how grim the conditions were (the warm winter means what is normally frozen ground, easy to walk on, is a boggy slog) .

And these lads were experienced walkers and wild-campers, not a southern doughball who claims to have arthritis and has never gone wild camping in her life, nevermind wild camping with an unhappy child, a rambunctious dog, and 35mm of rain per hour landing atop her head. Good lord, I think that if Mountain Rescue had to go out and save them they would probably charge her with wasting time and resources, just like they did those eejits who attempted Ben Nevis in flip-flops.

(Seriously though, there is no solid ground left in Scotlands' Central Belt, the mud has consumed us all, please send help, rubber dinghies and dry socks. )
 
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All the stuff she has posted about being told she is too pretty/ conventionally attractive/ a pretty bleeping poof in her hate mail made me think of this



Also, I still have scars on my legs from half arsed sh 20 years ago, she is (shock!) lying.
 
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It's the unquestioned minor inconsistencies of her backstory that are baffling and infuriating.
I was listening again to the Greenbelt talk. Crikey she lays on thick there. Crying. But come the s*icide attempt (about 20 mins in) -

she says she took 2 packets of sleeping pills, all her heart pills, two packs of paracetamol and drank a bottle of vodka. Seems trivial but where did she get vodka? She and SB were living on water and dry bread. When she went to the FB the day after she had a cup of tea 'for the first time in weeks'. It probably is explainable but just makes no sense. Possible reasons - A friend gave it? Why didn't they give them food instead? She shoplifted it? Why not food instead?
Also no mention AT ALL of SB's dad. Airbrushing him out was disgraceful of her. Utterly disgraceful.

And she would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those pesky grifts.
 
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I for one am waiting with bated breath for Jack and SB's winter Scottish camping adventure. I wonder when it'll start.
Perhaps they’re on it now. She’s a dab hand at home schooling, so I’m sure the trip will be beneficial for SB.
 
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Oh, really, Jack? So you don’t have to make them out of sanded down tuna tins, even when you’re in dire straits? (the bones of your arse ones, not the Mark Knopfler ones)

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View attachment 1906517

Yikes. There's even a neckbeard squig offering to reimburse people scammed by Jack, at the same time as getting ratty with them for being upset at being scammed. It really is a cult! Everyone but Jack is to blame for Jack's actions. These men are the type that go to lap dancing clubs and think the dancers fancy them.
He is a twat and entirely unintentionally proving everyone's point.
He has meagre means. It is always people with meagre means propping up Jack's lavish lifestyle. They thought they were funding someone doing 'good works' but discover she is laughing about spaffing it on drink, drugs and furniture.
 
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It's the unquestioned minor inconsistencies of her backstory that are baffling and infuriating.
I was listening again to the Greenbelt talk. Crikey she lays on thick there. Crying. But come the s*icide attempt (about 20 mins in) -

she says she took 2 packets of sleeping pills, all her heart pills, two packs of paracetamol and drank a bottle of vodka. Seems trivial but where did she get vodka? She and SB were living on water and dry bread. When she went to the FB the day after she had a cup of tea 'for the first time in weeks'. It probably is explainable but just makes no sense. Possible reasons - A friend gave it? Why didn't they give them food instead? She shoplifted it? Why not food instead?
Also no mention AT ALL of SB's dad. Airbrushing him out was disgraceful of her. Utterly disgraceful.
That’s the weepy talk where she first ever claimed to be evicted too, after years of saying she was “almost” or “came close to being” evicted for various changing reasons.

Of course, by last year she was claiming to have been evicted “multiple” times. And now these evictions are through no fault of her own. She also claimed last year to have talked/written “frequently back then” (in her early years) about being evicted. Which she didn’t, because she hasn’t been and it’s yet another lie, this time one she invented at Greenbelt.
 
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Not many likes on that last attention seeking post are there? Considering her massive Glastonbury sized following ? 777k views as well. 1616 likes. Many of those might be “off you go then” likes as well. Oh dear. Time to get a REAL job Jack pal. Why don’t you become an HCA and do stuff for others ?
 
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He is a twat and entirely unintentionally proving everyone's point.
He has meagre means. It is always people with meagre means propping up Jack's lavish lifestyle. They thought they were funding someone doing 'good works' but discover she is laughing about spaffing it on drink, drugs and furniture.
These neckbeardbros are wild though, Jack Monroe could break into their house with a Swiss army STYLE knife and mallet, curl one out on their kitchen table, teach Satanism to their children and turn their wives lesbian and they'd still simp off for her. Weird, weird bunch of lads.
 
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New merch coming soon..

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Sign up to my patreon at just £2k a month to get your free t-shirt in 16.5 months.. warning: t-shirts do not exist, just like the VBI

I was robbed for thread title dang it..
🤪
 
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And she would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those pesky grifts.
I’ve only listened to the first few minutes of that but she’s already told lies. She said she shared a room with foster children. No, she didn’t.
She said she saw terrible things in the fire service. No she didn’t.

It is so cleverly crafted to appeal to her middle class audience. I know some of them will have been listening and thinking ‘hang on, that isn’t how fostering works’ but probably didn’t say anything to their friends because it seems so unlikely that someone would stand on a stage and tell lie after lie about their life?

I might listen to the whole thing and make a list of every single lie she tells

Her voice is nowhere near as honky either.
 
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