Jack Monroe #459 That westboro baptist church penis wig will haunt her forever

[DinosaurSenior]

Been MIA for a couple of days but had to pop back to say I was in Celery town yesterday, a long drive to take my mum, and a couple of her friends to a funeral. My one proviso was that I when I left them at the place where the funeral tea was taking place I could bugger off for a massive curry binge at Mosque Kitchen. Soooo good. I too have never been to any Dishoom.
Also to keep on topic, isn’t the massive garden attached to the flat, just that flat’s garden? It’s not a communal space.

Mosque Kitchen is fab! I can actually see it from where I am sitting right now! (watermelon). Although my morning tea break was RUINED on accOunt of the landfill risotto recipe being feature in the "Closer" magazine I was reading! That ridiculous hairdo in the pic of her softened the blow a bit

Edited to change Accunt to Account. Although,,,,

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I’ve never heard of a successful writer of many books moving into a one bed property with their almost teenage son before. Ever. It’s beyond cruel to SB. He is entitled to his own and to observe his mothers privacy.

Mind you I’ve never heard of anyone being so skint they cannot afford to own lightbulbs yet can afford a full bleeping array of Snap-On tools to open tins of shite and to make visually appealing aesthetic eggs etc so what do I know?

It’s just more proof I think that custody has swerved more heavily in favour of his dad. She doesn’t need room for him in her forever hovel.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

I’ve never heard of a successful writer of many books moving into a one bed property with their almost teenage son before. Ever. It’s beyond cruel to SB. He is entitled to his own and to observe his mothers privacy.

Mind you I’ve never heard of anyone being so skint they cannot afford to own lightbulbs yet can afford a full bleeping array of Snap-On tools to open tins of shite and to make visually appealing aesthetic eggs etc so what do I know?

Isn't it technically over crowding?
I don't know the laws and such, but when you claim housing help they expect a 12 year old.tonhave a room of their own.

 

[appleskin]

I find it hard to believe her family would have nicknamed her Jack, which is a diminutive of the English form of her brother's name - it'd be like naming brothers Henry and Harry, or sisters Liz and Beth. Her family give the impression of being quite formal and 'proper', the sort of people who care about what names mean and how they're seen - see Big Dave and all hist post-nominal letters.

Plus when you have mens short names like Mel Brooks and Mel Gibson why would it be shorten to a completely different name?

 

[Hold my beans]

Jack of all trades but master of none


Mate mate mate.
Addiction: completed it mate

she’s like so over that now. Oh my gawd get over it.
Deep sarcasm sorry
Lolz

This is it though. Why the hell is she giving those books away when she clearly needs to be reading the new member ones daily. And why has she got multiple copies.

Idiot. dislike her.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Setting up a communal library in your own garden is a slightly odd thing to do if *checks notes* you've had stalkers in the past and currently feel so unsafe that you can't go out at night or attend events without a security guard. Makes you think.

Breadcrumbing about the nature of the house you've just bought to half a million people, with enough detail for it to be identified, is also a slightly strange thing for someone in those circumstances to be doing, isn't it?

 

[jenny2603]

Despite multiple clues (danke, Frauen) I can't find the teeny tiny 1 bed flat. It doesn't sound very teeny tiny, mind.

Wherever she moves to I feel extremely sorry for her neighbours. Gawd help if one of them puts a foot wrong - they'll be twitter famous before the paint is dry on Jack's walls.

I wonder if they'll be SHUT YOUR LEGS people.

I find the free library idea terrifying. It's a trap and books are a bait. Jack will set up the library and then lurk waiting to pounce on unwary readers with a pot of slop or a pear brick before trying to lure them into her lair,

 

[my cup runneth]

Oh Jack. I'm not angry, I'm disgusted and amazed and annoyed
View attachment 1876445

She should have got a tattoo of a sideboard and then she’d have killed two birds with one stone. Which is a nice change from killing kittens. Jokes hahahaha.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Fraus I am fuming. Purple Squig really doesn’t deserve the privacy of being squigged, but of course I abided by the rules. Her job title suggests she has a decent income yet here she is showing the Jack Defenders’ unique Kindness™️ to someone who gave to Jack from their universal credit, only to discover she drank it away (the Minion gif says “blah blah blah”)

Beyond contempt. Be Kind my foot.

 

[Saltfish84]

It’s time Harold or Iqbal came to these threads and spilled some tea…come on lads

 

[Mel Donte]

I don't think she is buying. I genuinely think a large chunk of her money has gone up her larger in time nose.

Where does all the money go? Straight up her nose

 

[mackjonroe]

She’s awake!

 

[elepal]

Heaven help any singletons in the block!

On the other hand, if she's exposed to several single people at once, it'll be FASCINATING to see her try and work out which Jack she's going to be every five minutes. Anyone else remember the pleasure gelf from Red Dwarf?

 

[my cup runneth]

One last thing before I actually work (not back breaking labour like Jack does, more pleb type work) but I wanted to share a terrifying thing I keep seeing that can’t (shan’t?) Unser.

My bro-in-law has a fear of vaginas having teeth and whenever I see Jackie’s grid in full manic faux smile mode I for whatever bleeping reason do a perverse reverse and see her mouth as an odd snagged toothed Vajayjay. Dunno why. It’s not big or clever and it scares me as I imagine at her attempting to nibble (neither gently nor softly) at my poor lady garden whilst lecturing me on one of her political rants.Too gauche Darling?

 

[jf99]

I wonder if they'll be SHUT YOUR LEGS people.

I find the free library idea terrifying. It's a trap and books are a bait. Jack will set up the library and then lurk waiting to pounce on unwary readers with a pot of slop or a pear brick before trying to lure them into her lair,

She could knock them out by throwing the pear brick at them and drag them into the flat...shouldn't be an issue for her with her lifting prowess.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Been MIA for a couple of days but had to pop back to say I was in Celery town yesterday, a long drive to take my mum, and a couple of her friends to a funeral. My one proviso was that I when I left them at the place where the funeral tea was taking place I could bugger off for a massive curry binge at Mosque Kitchen. Soooo good. I too have never been to any Dishoom.
Also to keep on topic, isn’t the massive garden attached to the flat, just that flat’s garden? It’s not a communal space.

I wonder if the ad might say something like "private rear garden"? If so, it's only the space in front that's communal.

As an aside, I think she may be breadcrumbing so hard in the hope that someone will post it on twitter, so she can use it as proof of being stalked. We should be careful with what we say here in case she tries to use it against us.

 

[The carlin]

Squigs have been fact-checking Grifty Kitchen. Does Amazon’s description match the publisher’s? Does it say “over 120 recipes plus hacks” - which Cloak, post: 13494468, member: 159681"]

Spoiler: OT Me-Rail

This has made me have a panic actually. I’ve finally booked grief counselling (after 5 years of IVF, multiple losses & a final outcome we didn’t hope for) and I specifically went for a properly registered one, but never thought to check their social media. Imagine if they were a Jack Stan.

Spoiler: Reply

Oh I'm so sorry. I hope I haven't upset you. I've had a few therapists over the years some terrible but also some brilliant ones who really helped me. It sounds like you've done your research and checked them out which is great. I truly hope that it really helps you. Sending love and strength

 

[Captainmouse]

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jack's most recent like, which compares her to Katniss off of The Hunger Games.

 

[The carlin]

Why my vomit all sploshy?
Heard Jackanoshy

Stick a rusty spoon in it, take a pic. Boom one and done!