Jack Monroe #411 More flounces than an 80s wedding dress.

[Valiofthedolls]

Wait until the fisting starts...

Linky link to fisting. Darling(s), bit gauche. WARNED

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Handy in prison - Queen Bee in Cell Block H was top dog with the steamer. It always makes me think about that episode of The Hills when LC used her hair straighteners to steam her fancy dress for the Crillon Ball and ended up burning it, unsurprisingly.

tattle.life

Incidentally this is Jack at her most Widdecombe and wannabe posho. “Ai dewn’t even knew if yew laik carbonaara”. That and the flopping about and forced cackling make me cringe myself inside out.

Also, here’s said carbonaaaraaa recipe

Spoiler: The cringe is real here also

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Why are those mushrooms raw!? If that was what was served on a first date there definitely wouldn't be a second.

That's because you'd still be on the bog trying to process raw mushrooms through your plumbing.

 

[Wooh]

I'm getting my coat again - my bedroom has no space for drawers so I do in fact hang all my vests and t-shirts. Don't have a lot of clothes though, so they don't take up much space.
I feel like I no longer belong, especially after all the "somebody and Lucia" stuff* when I had no idea who you were all talking about.
Sniff sniff. Always the outsider. Sniff sniff.
I'll duck off


* PLEASE SOMEONE, TAKE PITY ON THIS PATHETIC SOUL AND GIVE ME A LINK

With the exception of lingerie, I hang all my clothes, because if clothes are folded and/or in a drawer they cease to exist for me.

Thank you for reading this Wooh fact. I like to think it brings me even closer to Jack

 

[terfette]

Lmfao at the two remaining flying morons left weakly defending her today. They really didn’t like being laughed at did they

 

[Django]

Lmfao at the two remaining flying morons left weakly defending her today. They really didn’t like being laughed at did they

 

[Lucky Escape]

This article yesterday. Bloody academics all up in her niche, and actually completing it. (They must have an absolutely massive house for all those coroners reports in lever arch folders)

Over 330,000 excess deaths in Great Britain linked to austerity, finds study

Research comes as government signals fresh round of public spending cuts

www.theguardian.com

The actual paper is https://jech.bmj.com/content/jech/early/2022/09/26/jech-2022-219645.full.pdf - I've only skimmed it, but it seems that the "excess deaths are caused by austerity" headline relates to the assumed starting point of the research, rather than its conclusion.

What the researchers were trying to do was to determine if women had been more affected by these assumed excess deaths than men (as many people had previously guessed).

Their main conclusion was that "It remains unclear whether there are sex differences in UK austerity-related health effects".

The Guardian article seems to have completely missed this (I assume that they're reporting on an over-egged press release). But can you imagine how much more of a mess the smol pixie might make if she were to pick up on it?

 

[FlirtyThirty]

That's because you'd still be on the bog trying to process raw mushrooms through your plumbing.

My mum went to a dinner party once and the host served a mushroom starter and everyone at the table almost immediately got the shits. I wonder if they used Jacks recipe.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I just wanted to see the history of this relationship so read the first article that came up and REALLY WISH I DIDN'T

Spoiler: Very very childish, very very vulgar

If you like it, then you better send some clits to me

 

[Slop n slide]

I just Googled 'Jack Monroe Allegra McEvedy interview video' and it brought me back here.

 

[auntylil]

I believe they are from literature, dear heart
Mapp and Lucia is a collective name for a series of novels by E. F. Benson and also the name of two British television adaptations based on those novels.

Thank~space~ you, kind plushy velvet one, I shall investigate further as it sounds rather awesome.
(I have practically zero knowledge of literature unfortunately, George Orwell and Jane Austin could be my saving graces lol, not that that gives me any credibility. Unlike certain smol pixies though, I'm quite happy to admit I don't know everything. My grammar school was a bag of shite, as good old Paul Calf* would say.)

Spoiler: Bag o' shite

*Doesn't that seem a long, long time ago? Happy days!

 

[ForgettyBetty]

The actual paper is https://jech.bmj.com/content/jech/early/2022/09/26/jech-2022-219645.full.pdf - I've only skimmed it, but it seems that the "excess deaths are caused by austerity" headline relates to the assumed starting point of the research, rather than its conclusion.

What the researchers were trying to do was to determine if women had been more affected by these assumed excess deaths than men (as many people had previously guessed).

Their main conclusion was that "It remains unclear whether there are sex differences in UK austerity-related health effects".

The Guardian article seems to have completely missed this (I assume that they're reporting on an over-egged press release). But can you imagine how much more of a mess the smol pixie might make if she were to pick up on it?

Thank you - That's interesting, because the Grauniad article led me to the opposite conclusion (eg some 230,000 excess male deaths vs 77,000 females). I've always been quite (forgot word) in reading ie check the facts for false statistics etc but now got to the point over the last few months of realising that even supposedly proper media are so full of crap that I can't believe any of it. It's gone full clickbait.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

View attachment 1627687

Mods I beg of you, please don’t ever stop people from posting Parody Jack here, it is glorious to behold.

Spare a thought for us poor smol non tweeters if this carefully woven rug of cut and paste was pulled out from under us, plunging us into an endless, aching lack of parody tweets.

Spoiler: PS, I might have plagiarized a bit

 

[House of Carbonara]

Sex mushrooms
View attachment 1627636View attachment 1627637

Points of order:
Those mushrooms are not cooked
They are *not* roughly chopped
No evidence of cream cheese - and why cream cheese, a tiny bit of cream would do
Garlic yes, onion no, you heathen
RED wine?? Why not Coca Cola instead.
I'll allow the thyme, personally I'd use parsley.
As I said, I actually like food (and can cook).

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

Linky link to fisting. Darling(s), bit gauche. WARNED

Jack Monroe #239 Error when subscribing. Please try again.

Handy in prison - Queen Bee in Cell Block H was top dog with the steamer. It always makes me think about that episode of The Hills when LC used her hair straighteners to steam her fancy dress for the Crillon Ball and ended up burning it, unsurprisingly.

tattle.life

Incidentally this is Jack at her most Widdecombe and wannabe posho. “Ai dewn’t even knew if yew laik carbonaara”. That and the flopping about and forced cackling make me cringe myself inside out.

Also, here’s said carbonaaaraaa recipe

Spoiler: The cringe is real here also

View attachment 1627671

Cream in carbonara? Get in the bin, Jack. That’s not carbonara.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

The parody account has tips … tips with comments https://ko-fi.com/bootstrapparody

 

[jenny2603]

The parody account has tips … tips with comments https://ko-fi.com/bootstrapparody

Lol! I would if they ended up pulling in more than Jack does on Patreon.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

The parody account has tips … tips with comments https://ko-fi.com/bootstrapparodyView attachment 1627732

Not sure how I feel about them putting out the tip jar tbh.
They're spending a few minutes tweeting and poking fun, I appreciate that, tip jar rattling seems a bit grabby imo. I may be in the minority tho.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Linky link to fisting. Darling(s), bit gauche. WARNED

Jack Monroe #239 Error when subscribing. Please try again.

Handy in prison - Queen Bee in Cell Block H was top dog with the steamer. It always makes me think about that episode of The Hills when LC used her hair straighteners to steam her fancy dress for the Crillon Ball and ended up burning it, unsurprisingly.

tattle.life

Incidentally this is Jack at her most Widdecombe and wannabe posho. “Ai dewn’t even knew if yew laik carbonaara”. That and the flopping about and forced cackling make me cringe myself inside out.

Also, here’s said carbonaaaraaa recipe

Spoiler: The cringe is real here also

View attachment 1627671

She'd better never show her face in Rome because man! That's a war declaration, that is.

 

[Vanelope]

But is she all the Jacks?
View attachment 1627639

It’s just you dear

 

[House of Carbonara]

Thank~space~ you, kind plushy velvet one, I shall investigate further as it sounds rather awesome.
(I have practically zero knowledge of literature unfortunately, George Orwell and Jane Austin could be my saving graces lol, not that that gives me any credibility. Unlike certain smol pixies though, I'm quite happy to admit I don't know everything. My grammar school was a bag of shite, as good old Paul Calf* would say.)

Spoiler: Bag o' shite

*Doesn't that seem a long, long time ago? Happy days!

The books are truly worth reading, dear Aunty. I believe Amazon has the collection for Kindle for 3.99 or similar.