It's interesting. I've been sitting trying to digest the chaos of Potatogate (and I digested it better than a prune and chicken porridge pilaf) and it's just struck me that I feel so affected by what Jack's doing because she reminds me of my ex-narcissist from many years ago. It's uncanny. This was in the days before Twitter, and he'd disappear for days at a time and wouldn't reply to texts, after guilt tripping me about stuff to deflect from his own wrongdoings.
I've been sat here feeling so conflicted since she posted about her two friends that died, and while I'm very sorry for her, it just triggered a lot of flashbacks for me. Part of me feels concerned that Jack might harm herself, but in a way, she's already harming herself with all this ridiculous Twitter nonsense. I wish she'd just own up to her wrongdoings, get rid of her socials while she gets herself together, and find another way of making her living that won't take money away from the very people she's claiming to try and help.
posting from the past but this, 100%, and people like JM can act as a sort of time machine for those of us who have been similarly abused in the past - I’m sorry you’re having to think about this all.
Jack’s behaviour as a public figure is somehow stomach-turningly identical to that of my own narc ex. He’d repeat the same cycles over and over, and there was ALWAYS a reason why he shouldn’t be held accountable at that moment. The severity of whatever the excuse was correlated to however awful he had been. Sometimes his own illness, sometimes critical illness of family members, sometimes work worries, sometimes a “friend” of his was in crisis and needed his attention, often he’d just disappear of the radar usually as punishment after I’d called him out. All excuses were never to be heard of again once that part of the narc cycle had passed.
I knew being involved with a narcissist could be damaging but you don’t understand the hopelessness and trauma of it until you’ve been through it. Watching someone manipulate so shamelessly and knowing exactly what’s happening but being powerless to stop it is beyond bleak. So I must admit that while it’s the grift we should generally focus on, because that ultimately is the point since she’s a stranger to us, the ways she behaves affect and anger me on a much more fundamental level because I can see exactly what she’s doing and I worry for the damage being done to those in her life. I hope she sees the light and gets help, for their sake as much as hers.
also, keen to post more on the rare occasions I am in real time with you all!!