Jack Monroe #400 The utter narcissism of this obscure cook

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Hello. Long time lurker, ex-Popbitcher and a current "most evil forum on the internet" refugee :cool:

Just a quick thank you for entertaining me whilst in The Queue on Thursday night/Friday morning. It kept me sane, bar the manic and inappropriate giggling, as I approached the London Eye at 4am.

Trying to catch up but I'm only on #396... Has there been a chaos in the last few hours? Oh I do hope so.

I wonder how she'd cope on Celeb GBBO? Can't imagine she'd get a handshake.
 
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I have convinced myself that Russ has odd sex habits and believe he does all these passion killing things like having a really horrible old towel for sex. I bet he went out and got a penis beaker after that Mumsnet thread.
What is a penis beaker?

(I'm going to regret this, aren't I?)
 
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@Penelope_Ghent these people have been recommended to me: https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/

Good luck. My experience is only of claiming DLA but it’s a brutal process.

Just wanted to echo what others have said about PIP - please stick at it. It can be an awful process to go through but if you think you qualify then you deserve to be receiving that support and it is worth persevering. This website recommended by VeniVidiVicki is fantastic - a really thorough guide to filling out the form - but it does require a small subscription to get access to the detailed guides (a little over £10 or thereabouts last time I paid).

I have nothing good to say about the DWP, they are cunts but I wish you the best of luck with the process.

Edit:
edited to add, I mean no ill will to the people actually involved in doing the jobs, answering the phones etc at the DWP. but I was thoroughly fucked over by my PIP review and had to go to appeal because of the mountain of lies, omissions and twisting of facts that was in my report. My next review is coming up soon and I am TERRIFIED of it after getting my benefits stopped for 18 months during my appeal last time. HORRIFIC way to be treated by the department supposed to be there to support me.
 
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Pahahaha I just googled it. Wouldn't you be worried you'd get it mixed up with the glass of water by your bed...

Back on topic, Diva have really effed up, haven't they...
 
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Probably been mentioned before but.
I've just watched a video about Alex Belfield.
During that video they read a witness statement. I'm not posting the whole thing, just quotes.

I'll spoiler it too. There's parallels with Jacks behaviour and how she gets people silenced etc.

"he threatened me with rising court costs, costs which now appear to have been fabricated to alarm and blackmail me, since no evidence has been provided that any legal action was ever taken."

She threatened Lee Anderson MP - AwfullyMolly and likely others.

"When blocked on Twitter he used other accounts to see what I was tweeting and routinely publicly mocked me to his social media followers"

Judge at Hopkins Trial mentioned socks I believe.

"He also regularly asked his followers to contact me - which they did, sending threatening tweets on multiple occasions - and as his subscribers have grown this has became increasingly worrying."

Flying Monkeys she is so proud of.
You could almost read those quotes and believe they were talking about Jack.. almost.
Hate to say it but between this and a possible fraud investigation I think she's really fucked it.
 
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To hark back to days of yore (beginning of this thread, this morning) when the Teemill stuff was discussed, i Used to own a fashion business and have some insight into what may have happened with her sales, the PPC ads and the unnamed charities.
The best sales on any line or range occur when it’s first released. After that, they tail off quickly except for uplifts from press mentions, social media promos and newsletters with focussed click throughs. People have lots going on, and unless something they really need or want is in their face, they forget about it. Teemil items are always available and non seasonal, ie are still relevant beyond AW21 or SS22, so there’s no end of season sale which is when you get your second biggest bunch of sales, though at a lower margin.

Those first two days of sales for Jack’s merch would therefore have been the VAST majority of any she was likely to make. I agree with a PP (sorry, forgot who) that reckoned the amount over 10k, £1800 something was the actual profit For the time until she was forced in to making the donation. Even with her reach, and constant promo, there’s not a hope in hell she got the clicks, never mind the conversions to make £10 k profit in 2 days off that range. None. I very much doubt that she’ll ever make the £10k she stumped up back. She wanted to say it was a huge success and couldn’t allow it to look like a failure, which it probably wasn’t in sales terms but was compared to previous charity raises she’d done. In this case pride was a very expensive sin.

for a 40quid hoodie, profit should be £20 to £28 for a small business and higher for a chain like H&M or online biz like ASOS. £5.50 profit just shows what a daft way Teemil is to try and raise money for charity.

The Google ads will be paid for by Teemill. Companies like that are vultures. If you put stuff on Amazon, Etsy, eBay, any similar marketplace, they have the manpower and cashos to spend more advertising for clicks on your brand name than you do, sorry, but I don’t think for one minute Jack is buying those ads Both from a financial and getting off her arse and getting her head round the dark art of PPC perspective.

Finally, my Harold is a charity Herr. In fact he works for an organisation which covers every part of the UK and most of the world doing exactly what Jack thinks she invented with Google the other night with the tinder thing, they match grants, philanthropic gifts and business cash with small local charities that need money From a couple hundred to tens of millions of £ This org has been going for decades 🔺. I asked him about the food banks who wished to remain nameless and he shouted bollocks! (sausages) Obviously the whole point of charities is to raise money and awareness and any charity would be delighted to have a donation from someone with a following as more people will know about them. He said the ONLY reason to keep quiet would be if the brand of the donator was so toxic that association with it would damage their brand, but that’s more for your huge charities like RSPCA, not a small,local food bank who probably aren’t even aware of any chaoses or brand sullying.

ETA there has been no donation to any food banks after the TT donation. It’s nonsense.

apologies is this has all already been covered. Thank space you for bearing with.

@Penelope_Ghent these people have been recommended to me: https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/

Good luck. My experience is only of claiming DLA but it’s a brutal process.
@Penelope_Ghent I’m currently doing my PIP renewal form 😭😭😭 and have lots f info from the people VVV mention, which is dead helpful. Happy to email it to you somehow.
 
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"Once again, and quite a while ago now, I took my lightbulbs out. I replaced them with solar lanterns meant for garden decor, and they work just fine. A little dim on overcast days, but fine. And importantly, free."

It's very ambiguous, granted, but to my mind "taking the light bulbs out and replacing them" means putting something else in the light fitting.

Not that she ever really did it anyway ffs!
Also, she's lying. Light bulbs aren't cookers or freezer, so she would save pennies *and* risk doing herself a mischief because of the missing lights. Of all the dramatic-for-effect lies, this is the silliest.
 
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Ah, speaking of titmus and yule...
My Good Housekeeping Christmas magazine came in the post today (hey, don't @ me, I'm old) and husband and I were discussing Christmas meals this year.
It suddenly dawned on me we always have Nigella's cherry coke ham on Christmas eve. Now I've put her on my Jack list, what am I to do?!!!
My grandchildren will cry if there is no CC ham. Ffs Nigella, do you realise the consequences of your actions? You've helped to con squigs out of their money AND made my grandchildren cry.
Really makes you think.
Cherry Coke ham transcends Nigella. She ripped it off from some American soul food or church cookbook. Maybe Georgia Church Suppers. What I mean to say is that Nigella is just a blip in the life of the recipe, a means of transmission without creation.
 
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We have a what I call “Random tit” table that anyone can take extras to add to their core shop. It’s stuff a bit beyond BB date, more exotic donations Tarragon, Cake decorations, Thai fish sauce, Jars of whelks, Tinned Eel, Marmite are some we’ve had - stuff people donate rarely and are controversial for many. But we do also get the odd cookbook on there, knitting patterns, odd toy and usefully tin openers (economy tins often don’t have ring pulls). Some donations are plain odd.
We had a jar of caviar donated once. I had a good rant about that, but not as good a rant as the good rants I regularly have about donations of things that are open and half full/empty.
 
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I’ve read this article before and thought I would come back to it again today.
the language is quite interesting. Jack Monroe says she has lost about £5,000.


At the end of the article it says she was approached for comment. Was there ever a follow up from her on this? Or was it merely an opportunity for grifting which was unintentionally picked up by the BBC?
 
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Can’t believe I’ve woken up to penis beaker and baby gravy towel chat.

Can I start my day again please? 🥴
 
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Can’t believe I’ve woken up to penis beaker and baby gravy towel chat.

Can I start my day again please? 🥴
It's Jack's fault. She's now got so lazy she can't be arsed making a clown of herself for us. What is she even for? Doesn't do slops, doesn't fulfil her obligations, makes no effort to be funny for us. Come on slopgibbon, jump in a paddling pool or something because this silence ain't it.
 
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Frauen of the last 4 pages about 4 posts have concerned Jack. Can we take it to the Russ In Cheshire/ Penis Beaker/ F&D threads instead?
 
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This will be the mother of all burnouts and she will be softly, gently carried to a hospital by her many, many friends who all 100% exist. Upon her release she'll get high on life and diluting juice and do a streak or something. The most important thing to remember is that it will be all our fault for noticing the shady tit she's done and not hers for doing it.
If Jack does decide to go this route it'll just be another example of how clueless she is about privilege- I don't know of anyone else who can 'burnout' while lounging on a hammock at home (unless it's sunburn)
 
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It's Jack's fault. She's now got so lazy she can't be arsed making a clown of herself for us. What is she even for? Doesn't do slops, doesn't fulfil her obligations, makes no effort to be funny for us. Come on slopgibbon, jump in a paddling pool or something because this silence ain't it.
Slopgibbon has done me in. Thank you
 
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