Jack Monroe #355 rinses poor people better than she rinses spaghetti hoops

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One of the first people I know to buy a ~forever home~ got there from working at McDonald’s! He started there at 16 too, and by the time he got to uni he was a part time manager. They were super flexible with hours to fit around his degree. He then ended up working in a corporate role for them, before moving on to a similar role for a huge retailer. Even Mary Portas started off on a shop floor. Would Jack have considered her a failure back then for working in a clothes shop?
Exactly and if you look at some of the CEOs and COOs of the big housebuilding firms a good proportion of them started off as brickies or project managers. Jacks got that classic UMC fear of manual work and what it might mean without ever considering where it might LEAD.


And I am legally obliged to post this one

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This has ended me. Who does this? Not only has she presumably set up the camera and then pretended to be asleep hugging her certificate but she’s also gone and facetuned it to feck to make it all soft focus and kinda - hhhnnnrrrgghhh - sexy. Really who does this?

A narcissist that’s who.
 
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Also please me aware, don’t click on that Amazon link she’s posted and accept the cookies under any circumstances, as every purchase following that would give pennies to Ms Dr Pumble Popper
 
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This has ended me. Who does this? Not only has she presumably set up the camera and then pretended to be asleep hugging her certificate but she’s also gone and facetuned it to feck to make it all soft focus and kinda - hhhnnnrrrgghhh - sexy. Really who does this
It looks like (another) story from Take A Break.

‘I MARRIED my degree certificate and now I’m having the BEST SEX of my life’
 
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Imagine if Jack did start working for McDonalds. They could make a limited edition McPumble in her honour.
But unfortunately Darling McDonalds insists on extremely high hygiene standards in its kitchen….so Our Jackie with her skin flapping digits would not be allowed in.
 
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I've got to say the doctorate thing really grinds my pumble. She's using it as a shield, an unearned label of respectability.

Mine took 4 years and was gruelling, but at least I contributed something to my field and used it to build an actual career. Sorry I've bitten, it just presses my buttons. We all have our granola.
 
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I think this is probably one the rare times she didn’t have to vanity search her name. She’s following so many people that it was probably retweeted onto her time line multiple times, and that’s without the memes, and the snitches tagging her in the original tweet.
Oh yes, sorry, that makes sense!
 
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Can I just say, before I worked out what pumble actually was, I thought it might be Jack's pet name for her fanny.
 
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Her plans for 'A Lovely Day' consist so far of fighting on Twitter as herself and as two equally idiotic socks. From 9am this morning to 12.07pm. Doesn't sound like a lovely day to me but then I'm not a compulsively lying narc with a plethora of personality disorders! Go well, Jack!
It’s been on the go from 6am, I’m sure of it. So six hours of a lovely Saturday she could be spending with her son is spent online trying to turn opinion around.

All she has to do is make the Patreon income visible. It really is that simple.
 
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I always find the idea of honorary doctorates a bit embarrassing. I suppose in reality they are more like ambassadorships but her saying she is entitled to use the title Dr is just ridiculous. Doctor of Pumbling.
I actually don’t have a problem with them like when Doreen Lawrence got hers from Cambridge I was really pleased because her campaigning changed policing procedure in this country. I agree with them when they recognise someone who’s actually DONE something. But god knows what Jack’s done to deserve her two. Services to parody and comedy, maybe?
 
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Like the people on Facebook who mark themselves 'safe' in Worcestershire after a terrorist atrocity in Indonesia.
She marked herself safe on Facebook from the London Bridge attack. I shared it on here fairly recently.
 
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She's so GIVING?? You know you're replying to tweets shilling her book via an affiliate Amazon link which benefits only herself, don't you?? Giving??

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If only Jack HAD listened to Borbora and chosen burger flipping over performative cosplay, she could’ve had her forever home by now as opposed to operating multiple Twitter socks trying to hold up the crumbling facade of her shonky pier of lies.
Can I just say that as Jack’s mentality/morality appears to be stuck as some 1950s seaside net curtain twitching landlady who finds tattoos shocking and has weird issues around girls who “should have kept their legs closed”, I am LOVING all the vintage seaside allusions.

We’ve had the charabanc, now we have the pier, and I’m eagerly awaiting “The Kiss Me Quick Hat of Lies”, “Donkey Ride of Lies” or similar. More 1950s matronly bosom hoisting day at the seaside fibbing fun, please!

Here she is! Bucket and mop just out of shot. Been scrubbing the doorstep so people know she keeps a respectable place, now looking at the state of the nets at number 57. Pointless mare.
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It's Saturday, so a little Jack based accumulator. They don't all have to win, so here's hoping.
 
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Can I just say that as Jack’s mentality/morality appears to be stuck as some 1950s seaside net curtain twitching landlady who finds tattoos shocking and has weird issues around girls who “should have kept their legs closed”, I am LOVING all the vintage seaside allusions.

We’ve had the charabanc, now we have the pier, and I’m eagerly awaiting “The Kiss Me Quick Hat of Lies”, “Donkey Ride of Lies” or similar. More 1950s matronly bosom hoisting day at the seaside fibbing fun, please!

Here she is! Bucket and mop just out of shot. Been scrubbing the doorstep so people know she keeps a respectable place, now looking at the state of the nets at number 57. Pointless mare.
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I love the way she's turned her head here to pretend she's looking at a bank of paparazzi
 
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I AM HAVING A LOVELY DAY

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Imagine being up since 6pm when you have a 12 year old on a Saturday. You could plan a trip out to the beach or one of these many activities


Particularly if you had made a post a week or two ago asking for suggestions as you had been putting away the amount of alcohol drank(200 units per week) into an account for holidays with SB
 
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I actually don’t have a problem with them like when Doreen Lawrence got hers from Cambridge I was really pleased because her campaigning changed policing procedure in this country. I agree with them when they recognise someone who’s actually DONE something. But god knows what Jack’s done to deserve her two. Services to parody and comedy, maybe?
Good point. In Jack's case perhaps services to Twitter.
 
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