Jack Monroe #354 Who funds you, Jack?

[SlopAmbsase]

New thread time, first time doing this, so pls be tender with my softy softy pancreas, PALS.

Thread title courtesy of (I think?) the brave dissenting squigs of Twitter and nominated by dear heart Jenny Numbers @jenny2603. If I'm wrong tell me but I am autistic so am very unlikely to be incorrect.

We continue to steam along the threads like buttered snakes through Jack on a squatty potty as the Chaos Express toot toots on. The great squig awakening is ongoing while Jack has taken to her bed (although her socks may have gained both sentience and a wi-fi connection). Please add any highlights I've missed from the last thread, although it seems that the growing Frauen collective could all do with a few hours in a hammock after this week.

For the new and curious, please see the wiki. Please use 'Thread title' for nominations and remember no swears in thread names.

New thread time, first time doing this, so pls be tender with my softy softy pancreas, PALS.

Thread title courtesy of (I think?) the brave dissenting squigs of Twitter and nominated by dear heart Jenny Numbers @jenny2603. If I'm wrong tell me but I am autistic so am very unlikely to be incorrect.

We continue to steam along the threads like buttered snakes through Jack on a squatty potty as the Chaos Express toot toots on. The great squig awakening is ongoing while Jack has taken to her bed (although her socks may have gained both sentience and a wi-fi connection). Please add any highlights I've missed from the last thread, although it seems that the growing Frauen collective could all do with a few hours in a hammock after this week.

For the new and curious, please see the wiki. Please use 'Thread title' for nominations and remember no swears in thread names.

LJC, despite my autism I have done a chaos and put the wrong number in the title. Send mod-os.

 

[FeelingGroovy]

But surely autism means you cannot lie, which means the number must be correct.

Basic logic.

 

[Ostapbender]

TLDR:
Jack believes that she deserves everything and critical non-Jacks deserve misery.
This line was always clear if you watched closely, but is now getting some much needed attention x

 

[Pocahontas]

Additional recap by @Pavlova , ta:

Hello, good afternoon and welcome to ninnies, fraus and frauens new and old. Phew! The ongoing chaos created by the first tweet thread published by Awfully Molly has gone nuclear not just on the 'haunted bird app' but on other platforms elsewhere. Still the ensuing chao continues, with more squiggs coming out of the woodwork to question where the donations and money actually goes. Which leads me to much hooting and fizzing of congratulations to @jenny2603 for having the winning thread title. Patreon and the tip-jars are especially under scrutiny. And as we are in the height of summer, why there has been a proliferation of socks appearing online. (eyes new Twitter accounts). Please nominate new thread title after about the 700th post, no swearing and please do check out the wiki page which is the pink button above. If I've missed anything (which is most like) please add it below. Thankspace you x

 

[SlopAmbsase]

But surely autism means you cannot lie, which means the number must be correct.

Basic logic.

Thank you for releasing me from the prison of my own genius.

 

[Pavlova]

Additional recap by @Pavlova , ta:

Hello, good afternoon and welcome to ninnies, fraus and frauens new and old. Phew! The ongoing chaos created by the first tweet thread published by Awfully Molly has gone nuclear not just on the 'haunted bird app' but on other platforms elsewhere. Still the ensuing chao continues, with more squiggs coming out of the woodwork to question where the donations and money actually goes. Which leads me to much hooting and fizzing of congratulations to @jenny2603 for having the winning thread title. Patreon and the tip-jars are especially under scrutiny. And as we are in the height of summer, why there has been a proliferation of socks appearing online. (eyes new Twitter accounts). Please nominate new thread title after about the 700th post, no swearing and please do check out the wiki page which is the pink button above. If I've missed anything (which is most like) please add it below. Thankspace you x

Oooops, thank you @Pocahontas sorry to cause a double thread title chaos x

 

[jenny2603]

I'd like to thank the squigs for giving me such a fine title to nominate. This honour is for all of us. Now we wait for Jack to tell us who is bankrolling her slop 'n' sideboard empire and how much she's raking in. As we know she's incapable of lying due to her tennis elbow or autism (I forget which) and I am sure is pulling the figures from an A4 lever arch file as we speak.

 

[dontbebitterjustbebetter]

all quiet on the jack front today.. what’s the bets? asleep all day with a 44 degree temp? dog shat all over the floor and she had to sort it using zoflora diluted 27p soap? or perhaps a new competitor to the jack ailment ring? place your bet today folks!

 

[Walkdengirl]

Sorry fraus, I thought the hospital pics were new ones. It's still I fecking awful bag

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Oooh new thread! What new chaos will she unleash between now and page fiftysomething, I wonder?!

Also thankspaceyou to Sidey B for warning me that boiling soap might send me into a permanent fuge state. Maybe I’ll try the rinsed hoops with cheese and oil recipe, if I’ve got a few spare hours for all the arduous preparation steps later.

 

[FeelingGroovy]

Thank you for releasing me from the prison of my own genius.

Go well, my tender one.

 

[RamblerOfLandandMouth]

lifestyles of the Grift and the Heinous.....they're always complaining....always complaining...if money was such a problem...

Despite the twitter awakening some die hard fans still insist St Jackie is in fact A GOOD Charlatan

 

[Veronicaaa]

There are full threads appearing on twitter by people who are only just discovering her terrible recipes. FINALLY!! I'm in heaven!

 

[FeelingGroovy]

I've been hanging around these threads intermittently for years now. I feel I should give myself a profile pic. Maybe a jaunt through the media gallery would give me some ideas.

Send inspiration-os

 

[AnnRKey]

Maybe she's got COVID again. You know, that new strain called MONROE-24 named after the number of hours she spends trying to lie her way out of things.

 

[dontbebitterjustbebetter]

There's also some squig in the comments of one thread defending the recipe on the grounds that it's created specifically for people who use foodbanks and that's why it is the way it is.

ah yes, the infallible logic of “those who use foodbanks deserve nothing better than grey and beige slop that looks like it came out of the rear end of a rather unwell lap dog”

 

[AnnRKey]

I've been hanging around these threads intermittently for years now. I feel I should give myself a profile pic. Maybe a jaunt through the media gallery would give me some ideas.

Send inspiration-os

 

[Jelly Bean]

all quiet on the jack front today.. what’s the bets? asleep all day with a 44 degree temp? dog shat all over the floor and she had to sort it using zoflora diluted 27p soap? or perhaps a new competitor to the jack ailment ring? place your bet today folks!

Sadly she can't whisk herself away for a healing minibreak either. Well she can but she'd have to keep quiet about it due to a) being so poor b) Content c) SB.
Maybe it is her day for either her weekly meeting with the ONS, or her volunteering day at the food bank.
As you say most likely to be this new mystery ailment.

 

[jenny2603]

Maybe she's got COVID again. You know, that new strain called MONROE-24 named after the number of hours she spends trying to lie her way out of things.

I think she's having an important meeting with her paralegals to get to the bottom of who is is tweeting all these lies and contradictory statements from her account. I believe she has a great team.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I've been hanging around these threads intermittently for years now. I feel I should give myself a profile pic. Maybe a jaunt through the media gallery would give me some ideas.

Send inspiration-os