Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read

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Sitting in my car waiting for an appointment and this hasafe me snort with laughter uh huh huh!
All credit to @SilverLinings for the original.


No one's ever dropped stuff off on my doorstep if I'm 'feeling poorly'. Leads me to think it's another Jack lie but maybe I'm just thoroughly unlikeable 😂😂
Ha ha! No it's probably because you're like 99% of the rest of the adult population and just does their best to manage minor illnesses. I suppose we must remember that the only way Jack could get her parents attention was to whine about being ill and she's carried this detestable trait into adulthood.
 
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Jack is ickle, vulnerable and poorly so her friends who 100% exist scamper about all day softly, gently leaving little care packages on her doorstep. Ill Jack is an almighty pain in the arse, like all the Jacks.
Every time Jack bangs on about her “glands” it just makes me think about Ignatius Reilly and his valve.

In fact, that’s not the only thing Jack and Ignatius have in common. Let’s play a little game of “Who said it, Jack or Ignatius?”

“Our nation demands the scrutiny of a completely disengaged observer, and I already have a rather formidable collection of notes and jottings that evaluate and lend a perspective to the contemporary scene.”

“I am about to faint from anxiety and general depression. The film I saw last night was especially grueling, a teenage beach musical. I almost collapsed.”

“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”

“Leaving New Orleans Thorpe Bay also frightened me considerably. Outside of the city limits the heart of darkness, the true wasteland begins.”

“Experience can give my writing a new dimension. Being actively engaged in the system which I criticize will be an interesting irony in itself.”


Ninnies, I give you Jack Monroe, an Ignatius J. Reilly for the 21st century. Although….

“Canned food is a perversion...it is ultimately very damaging to the soul.”

ETA Jack when you’re grunking through, though they’ll make you sound just as very clever as you usually do, don’t plagiarize any of these quotes from John Kennedy O’Toole who is DEAD.
 
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This got me:
"They put on a music class for people with learning difficulties, which is bonkers and fantastic, all tambourines and trumpets"

Why shouldn't those with LD enjoy playing music?
That bothered me too. Describing the class as “bonkers”, it’s so patronising, othering, and just cruel when you think about it.
 
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This just proves that Jack isn't a single parent. If she was she wouldn't have the luxury of laying in bed during the day whenever she's a bit poorly.
 
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She's ill for one night and the Southend emergency services are already on the case - delivering to the greedy grifter so she can carry on her important work.
She's so brave. 🎖
 
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Can someone be Thread Mother?

Sadly, I have swollen glands, a barking cough, shakes and prickly sweats - done a covid test and it’s negative but I’m heading to bed with a flask of herbal tea and some Day Nurse. Ughhhh I don’t really have time for this.

Send soupos and Pringelos.
 
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Every time Jack bangs on about her “glands” it just makes me think about Ignatius Reilly and his valve.

In fact, that’s not the only thing Jack and Ignatius have in common. Let’s play a little game of “Who said it, Jack or Ignatius?”

“Our nation demands the scrutiny of a completely disengaged observer, and I already have a rather formidable collection of notes and jottings that evaluate and lend a perspective to the contemporary scene.”

“I am about to faint from anxiety and general depression. The film I saw last night was especially grueling, a teenage beach musical. I almost collapsed.”

“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”

“Leaving New Orleans Thorpe Bay also frightened me considerably. Outside of the city limits the heart of darkness, the true wasteland begins.”

“Experience can give my writing a new dimension. Being actively engaged in the system which I criticize will be an interesting irony in itself.”


Ninnies, I give you Jack Monroe, an Ignatius J. Reilly for the 21st century. Although….

“Canned food is a perversion...it is ultimately very damaging to the soul.”

ETA Jack when you’re grunking through, though they’ll make you sound just as very clever as you usually do, don’t plagiarize any of these quotes from John Kennedy O’Toole who is DEAD.
One of my favourite books of all time, and one which always has me LOL’ing.
Jack probably worked at the Night of Joy. 🦜
 
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New thread, nerds!

 
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