Jack Monroe #328 Something went wrong. Try again.

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It was discussed here a couple of threads ago why as a cook 🤭 and food writer 🤭 who was all about frugal eating 🤭 she never even looked into growing her own herbs and veg. What with that massive garden - so poor! Anyway now what a coinkydink she has decided she will.
Not quite sure why they have to be grown on the driveway rather than the garden - but baby steps.
I know why. It's to keep the neighbourhood WhatsApp group spicy innit.
 
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Tree grow bad, left unattended,
Angry Jack, landlord offended
Lights back on, lease extended
Tool box found, spice shelf mended?

- Ooh, err Boris.
 
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It's really very simple, guys. Jack's reaction to her extreme poverty means she simply has to stay in a £2k per month detached villa in one of the country's most prosperous areas. I'm not sure what people aren't getting 🤷‍♀️
Can we break the rules and have this as an extended thread title?! Or failing that, can this be a new Teemill Tshirt slogan?!

I still haven't triangulated Jack's house but I'm getting ever closer to being able to send her a dictionary in the post. I've got two data points, give me one more clue to enable me to complete the triangulation, you personal safety ignoramus.
Her whining about the ginormous eucalyptus magic faraway tree in the garden sealed the deal for me. It was as if she’d sent Pythagoras Theoremos/Hypotenuseos it was so triangle-ated. All with tit that she’s put out there herself. Tool. And she posted yet another vid of her garden complete with outbuilding this week for good measure.
 
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I've been playing Rimworld for the last 10 hours so I'm absolutely frazzled but I vaguely remember her tweeting something about how she went through the lease line by line to see if she could move out after the year. How did her forensic, analytical, maverick mind miss the part about taking care of the tree?

ETA: found it, also not totally sure why my two comments were posted in the one
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Don't think anyone posted this yet, I know she said she slowly introduced the dog to Cooper with clothes or whatever, but surely being in a new house with a massive cat sniffing your arse would be fairly stressful for the dog?
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That puppy is not happy at all, her tail is fully tucked between her legs. She looks forlorn.
 
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She's finally seeing sense. Didn't we all sat this tit like weeks ago. You can't buy a house with irregular income, you can't buy a house with ccjs. Also how's the court case as she factored that into her earnings. She might not win this one?
She won’t even bring this one. Anderson could request disclosure of all her financial info to facilitate him mounting a truth-based defence against any accusation of slander/defamation, and she will not let that happen. She can’t even file her tax returns ffs, she’s trying so hard to hide her income.

The “case” will never be mentioned again, except perhaps by the odd earnest squig, and - calling it now! - at some point Jack will trot out some lines about court stress being bad for her mentals, about being the bigger person and letting it go. Will almost certainly be tied up with some self-serving sobriety waffle.
 
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Is your >£2500 monthly Patreon grift not enough for you? Ungrateful, begging bleep.
And if she’s not paying taxes on it (lol if) then thats equivalent to the take-home on a £39,200 salary. That’s her baseline income, no accounting for any actual paid work she does. Pleading poverty on the equivalent of an almost £40k basic salary.
 
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She is currently doing a very gaslighting never said she was poor breadcrumbing. Probably for the libel case. E
 
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Vegtrug planters are £199 each and she’s “built a load of them” she had lying around? Why is her “completed it mate” gene so strong? bleeping plank.

Dream cooker???? I thought it was some cheap and nasty looking freestanding electric thing? Is that really a “dream cooker”? 😆
 
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I've been playing Rimworld for the last 10 hours so I'm absolutely frazzled but I vaguely remember her tweeting something about how she went through the lease line by line to see if she could move out after the year. How did her forensic, analytical, maverick mind miss the part about taking care of the tree?

ETA: found it, also not totally sure why my two comments were posted in the one
View attachment 1365959

Don't think anyone posted this yet, I know she said she slowly introduced the dog to Cooper with clothes or whatever, but surely being in a new house with a massive cat sniffing your arse would be fairly stressful for the dog?
View attachment 1365953
That poor dog. Jesus can she not see how scared and miserable it is? And does it really need a harness at home?
 
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She was tweeting at 3am. Nothing really exciting.

Apparently she worked with Experian. That obviously had an impact on her🙄.

Oh, and courgettes go in baba ghanoush.


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That poor dog. Jesus can she not see how scared and miserable it is? And does it really need a harness at home?
The latest kitten looked scared and anxious too, it’s a pattern. And she’s so bleeping self-obsessed she can’t see it - or doesn’t care.
 
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Evidence from my head:

Grandad’s Le creuset and lawnmower made a reappearance.

Conjecture from my head:

How did she build the garden tit today without tools?
But if she’s got those expensive veg planters why build crap out of crap with no skill? 🙄
 
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