Jack Monroe #314 Take care on the stairs you pretend to fall down repeatedly

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What banks are open on a Sunday anyway? I've never been offered/given a free coffee in a bank ☹ I'm thinking it was actually a proper mortgage advisor.
It was yesterday morning I think. She's been festering on it trying to come up with a good grifting angle.
 
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This is going to sound really mean but I hope her next flat costs her 4 grand a month. In fact I hope that her landlady landlord absolutely rinses her for rent. I honestly can't be arsed with her and her bleeping mortgage obsession.
 
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What banks are open on a Sunday anyway? I've never been offered/given a free coffee in a bank ☹ I'm thinking it was actually a proper mortgage advisor.
Yeah it sounds more like a broker in an estate agents with the coffee thing tbh.

Also banks are shooketh at the mo, lots have withdrawn products from the market & every single mortgage valuation we had done came in quite a bit under the marketed/offer price and multiple different agents in diff areas have said it’s never been like this before. Interest rates are only headed up too. Any broker will know how hard it is for any applicant and would be nothing but lovely about the whole thing, they must be seeing more rejections atm than in recent years…!
 
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There aren’t any houses in my area worth £300K! 😂 Could get a 3 bedroom house with a large garden for around £250K. *waves to Jack in Northern*
 
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I think she’s saved a big deposit then walked in with the patreon figures going ‘the mortgage is less than my rent and these saps will pay it’
 
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Meanwhile in Southend, Jim the mortgage broker is softly, gently, mindfully blu-tacking a No Time Wasters sign to the wall.
 
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I'm excited for the crowdfunder! I think they're actually going to set one up.
 
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What banks are open on a Sunday anyway? I've never been offered/given a free coffee in a bank ☹ I'm thinking it was actually a proper mortgage advisor.
She'll triangulate my bank and branch now but they do have a lil (shudder) coffee machine. Far from being hostile and almost yanking a free espresso back from someone though they practically fall over with excitement offering one to everyone who walks in the door, I had to go to withdraw £15 when I snapped my bank card* and they gave me one 😂

*It was in my back pocket and I sat on it funny, no dramatic snapping here.
 
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I think she’s saved a big deposit then walked in with the patreon figures going ‘the mortgage is less than my rent and these saps will pay it’
It's amazing how clueless she is about this considering it's basically the family business.
 
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The ultimate rattle worked! Solicitors ask for proof of where income came from, imagine writing "crowdfunding" on the form.
 
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Haha God I'm just catching up. I can't be doing with Jack Buys A House.
Look! It's Jack.
Hello, Jack.
Look, Jack, look.
It's a house.
Buy, Jack, buy!
The house is a 2 bed flat.
How much does it cost, Jack?
"The plan is to let the readership pay for it."
Thank you, Jack.
No, thankyou.
Kerching!
 
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I've got a few pages to Grunk so this may have already been said but.......Jack becoming the face of Superdrug's Cost of Living Campaign and bringing out a book called 'Thrifty Kitchen' when she has CCJs, a history of paying rent late and a terrible credit rating

Yet again

 
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