Jack Monroe #287 Blender Critical

[Hollaaa]

Welcome to the new thread! Congratulations to @Pocahontas for the thread title. Special mention to @Adayinthelife and @Griftymcgriftface for the other thread title which I am avoiding Jackbaitdrama by not using but it was VERY good.

Recap to follow when I find the pro-forma . Starting new threads is difficult.

In the last thread, Jack spent a lot of money on a big shop after her fridge became magically empty - how does that work?
She brought unnecessary snark to add to the piles of unused tat in the crappy bungalow - not sure if she bought anything the thread moved that quick.
She cooked a disgusting plate of salmon paste noodles on the not Lorraine programme and we watched along.
She told an improbable anecdote about online abuse AGAIN.
She blamed her awful personality on a pensioner who did not deserve it.
She did/did not pay money to the second unnamed t-shirt charity.

For any newcomers, please have a look at the wiki, it’s the pink button at the top of the page.

For thread titles, please include the words “thread title” or “thread title nomination“, hold your horses until later in the thread before suggesting them, and please no swearing in thread titles!

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Safe to say Jack hasn’t paid her tax yet?

has she be open and transparent about the rest of the teemill money?

 

[jenny2603]

Safe to say Jack hasn’t paid her tax yet?

has she be open and transparent about the rest of the teemill money?

At the time of writing we still don't know where the last tranche of Teemill money is, what charities are involved or how much was raised. Jack has still not paid the taxes she withheld during a pandemic and continues to hold on to as the country is trying to recover.

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Re the shopping trip:

Eh?

 

[MaineCoonMama]

@Hollaaa thank you!
We have confirmation that her banana skin gruel is a thing of horror thanks to tribute Traumy S. Taxes still not paid and her Tiffany earrings are not a dupe like she claimed.
We are standing by for hats.

 

[MsGilmore]

‘Pay your tax Jack or don’t you come back no more, no more, no more, no more’
I hope that she buys SB an Easter egg and doesn’t just give him fried banana peel!

 

[Captainmouse]

I was typing a reply and the thread closed, so dragging this across

That whole article is hilarious.

To paraphrase,
Jack said she was now a West London lesbian who ate out at the River Cafe, toured the country speaking at literary festivals, The Labour Party had begged her to become a candidate, she had stopped writing books for The Poors, and had served up leftovers to PAYING customers at Allegra"s restaurant .

Allegra also called her worldly wise and treated her like bright toddler.

Unfortunately she thinks bright toddler is a compliment, she has continued to behave as a toddler

 

[jenny2603]

Oh Jack, you're soooooo brave. Going to Asda when you have so many potential assassins lurking everywhere. I don't know how you do it.

 

[Cookiecookie]

@Wooh, I missed the rillettes last thread, but she did do two sardine ones.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Her hot take on shopping is red hot.

I check too see what I have in... Bloody maverick she is. I often go and just buy any old shite, even if I have multiples like ten jars of mayo. The majority of the population poor or no do a stock take of their foot cupboards you trumpet! Honestly she wears me out.

 

[hellosailor⚓]

View attachment 1195883

Oh Jack, you're soooooo brave. Going to Asda when you have so many potential assassins lurking everywhere. I don't know how you do it.

So her top tip for budget shopping is....check what you need before you go?

Surely even her middle-class, bum licking, twitter sqigs do that?

ETA ooops sorry onestorytoomany has already pointed out the bleeding obvious

 

[Soup or Noodle]

I've been lurking here and on the Alice Evans thread for ages but that cat food slop from yesterday pushed me to make an account.

I'm fortunate enough to be able to buy nutritious, and sometimes frivilous food, but I really hate wasting food and that mess yesterday was just a waste of so many ingredients. Today is a day I'm not in love with cooking, because I'm working ~real job that pays enough to buy food and hats and doesn't involve Twitter~ and tired ~because I stayed up half the night watching Netflix, not through working 64hr days~

I wanted an early lunch of so challenged myself to use noodles and visible peas. 50p smokey bacon super noodles, some frozen peas and a few slices of ham. These 3 ingredients gave me a really cheap, quick lunch that wasn't fancy but had 3 different textures and I could still taste the peas. It also wasn't particularly pretty, yet didn't look repulsive.

Sorry I don't have fancy wallpaper to photograph it on. It's a bit chilly here so I put a throw over my legs.

Anyway, that ended up a much longer "hello" than I planned. Looking forward to getting to know you all.

 

[Wooh]

Of course she made a tinned sardine rillette

Does Jack understand anything about the origins of food, cooking? No, she does not. See also her rich ignorance around seasonal veg. Urgh!

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

And not even a passing mention of the 97 this morning. Ghoul.

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Might put the bins out later.

Asda have had fair warning. Better stock those shelves or we could be in for another crusade.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Why would anybody need a knife to deal with fresh Sardines? All you do is stick your (clean) thumb in the vent and run it up and down, then pull the spine and guts out under a slowly running cold tap.

Oh. My bad. They're tinned Sardines. Just take them out of the tin - John West do filleted ones, by the way - and use clean hands.


Or just stop being such a massive twit and butter your toast, mash the sardines directly onto it, add pepper and some lemon juice. Same taste, far easier, less washing up.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

View attachment 1195883

Oh Jack, you're soooooo brave. Going to Asda when you have so many potential assassins lurking everywhere. I don't know how you do it.

How is that a tip surely everyone does that as that’s why people go shopping in the first place? Have I been doing shopping wrong?

 

[Jelly Bean]

When the Silly Billy gets to Asda what item that has been available for years will she spot and claim as a personal victory?

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

And not even a passing mention of the 97 this morning. Ghoul.

I’m actually pleased about this nobody needs Jack’s take on Hillsborough.

 

[jenny2603]

Why would anybody need a knife to deal with fresh Sardines? All you do is stick your (clean) thumb in the vent and run it up and down, then pull the spine and guts out under a slowly running cold tap.

Oh. My bad. They're tinned Sardines. Just take them out of the tin - John West do filleted ones, by the way - and use clean hands.


Or just stop being such a massive twit and butter your toast, mash the sardines directly onto it, add pepper and some lemon juice. Same taste, far easier, less washing up.