Jack Monroe #238 Honestly, they're like two stupid pigeons fighting over a discarded doughnut

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Jack, I also have a rail fitted in my house to help me get up the stairs. It’s called a bannister. Normally comes with the house #gratitude
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oh i wish i could have a look at this in more detail.

i didn't think my flabber could be any more gasted than it already was - this has floored me. how bleeping dare she lie so blatantly.
The upstairs landing is so big she used it as a library. Not even joking.
She put up pictures of it and I do believe this might be the original post where she posted the pineapple, although that could be wrong.
Basically she put up loads of bookshelves on the landing and declared it something like her usual gobshite of 'I have finally found my happy place and only now can I truly be happy' or some such nonsense. The gold pineapple was on one of the shelves and a squiggle asked about it and she replied that was where she kept her tampons.
(I may be muddling the occasion but the bit about the pineapple is true)
The main bedroom is so big it covers half of the footprint of the house. Two more really decent size bedrooms and a huge bathroom. All upstairs in the 'crappy bungalow '.
I appreciate that when bungalow owners convert the loft it is still referred to as a bungalow, but this isn't the same. It is a purpose built, Edwarduan/Victorian detached house in a really nice area.
 
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Lads, lads I've just found a real gem. God, I don't know where to begin. Owl champagne all the way.

I YELLED at “I sometimes wear sunglasses on the tube”.
 
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Lads, lads I've just found a real gem. God, I don't know where to begin. Owl champagne all the way.

Omg you can just imagine the dinner party. Everyone else laughing and getting along. Jack feeling left out rudely scrolling through twitter. Bingo. Unpleasant trolling. Make a big deal of leaving the table and hiding in the toilet until someone notices and all attention is then on her and she can prove she is as well known as them as she has a stalker.
It probably happened but we all know she does have a *slight* tendency to embellish stories 🙄
 
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You are a ridiculous human being. Just say floral pattern with a bird. £5

fuckssake
Wot and miss out for all of the ebay buyers who have an alert set up for [this specific bird].

Love the suggestion of a 'white naped crane' Ding ding ding, been after that on a top forever.

But.. oh my goodness Jack, you aren't so poor you have to sell your clothes are you? How can I help?
 
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But but but .... you dyed all your gear black.
In clothing parlance that flowery bird garment is hideous.
 
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Why on earth does she need the exact species of bird for a clothes listing?

More performative nonsense, just so we can see poor Jack is selling clothes.
 
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She’s bored shitless, isn’t she?
Jack is working 20 hour days, I'll have you know. No time for boredom.

Jack classes all household chores as work, so sorting out her wardrobe for selling will no doubt be considered hard work. Normal people have to do this sort of stuff in their own time, on top of their working day. Our little pixie obviously thinks breathing is work.
 
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