Jack Monroe #235 Goggleslop

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A bit of a retro discussion, I couldn't be arsed cooking tonight, had leftover cheese (castello blue) on Aldi dupe ritz crackers with a dab of piccalli on each one. Delicious, cheese box stated best before date of 28/1/22 so didn't need to condemn it to a dodgy cheese sauce, I just enjoyed it for what it was. For any one who hasn't tried castello blue it is a creamy, mild blue cheese, nearest comparison I can make is cambazola
 
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If she ever finds the DIY on a Budget Facebook group, that bungalow is finished. Dyloning carpets sounds exactly up their street. I’ve seen threads about wallpapering stairs and making floors out of old pennies and resin. Plus that gold spray will be on everything.

As others have pointed out, the being pressured to drink thing is pretty old fashioned. I’m an older millennial and find people my own age and younger don’t tend to go out to get piss drunk. If you want to slow down or just not drink at all, that’s fine, especially if you’re giving lifts home.

If she’s an alcoholic, she should probably avoid non-alcoholic versions of beer, wine etc. Apparently it can cause people to fall into old habits. But what do I know? I’m a sad old Frau who laughs at her misfortune.
She’s already on it. She posted her kitchen on there!
If she ever finds the DIY on a Budget Facebook group, that bungalow is finished. Dyloning carpets sounds exactly up their street. I’ve seen threads about wallpapering stairs and making floors out of old pennies and resin. Plus that gold spray will be on everything.

As others have pointed out, the being pressured to drink thing is pretty old fashioned. I’m an older millennial and find people my own age and younger don’t tend to go out to get piss drunk. If you want to slow down or just not drink at all, that’s fine, especially if you’re giving lifts home.

If she’s an alcoholic, she should probably avoid non-alcoholic versions of beer, wine etc. Apparently it can cause people to fall into old habits. But what do I know? I’m a sad old Frau who laughs at her misfortune.
She’s already on it. Posted her kitchen shelves on there. I’m sure it was something to do with shelves and books. Did an old shed up to, she turned it in to a “studio”!
 
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She’s already on it. She posted her kitchen on there!

She’s already on it. Posted her kitchen shelves on there. I’m sure it was something to do with shelves and books. Did an old shed up to, she turned it in to a “studio”!
She is such pretentious fake :sick:
 
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I know what I miss most about pre-broadband life. Obviously the existential art piece that was the dial-up internet sound but also that there wasn't a platform for wastrels like Jack. The worst she could've done was a Geocities site with an unstoppable obnoxious MIDI tune or created a bulletin board for her 20 sock accounts to talk to each other.
Bib her idea of heaven, bigging herself up, chatting shite
 
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I’d rather have a J2O than her fizzy water with rosemary .

What is a grown up alternative? Seedlip? Because that isn’t cheap and some people who don’t drink don’t want the alcohol substitutes. Added to the fact some of them (Spencer’s Clean Co for example) contain 0.5% alcohol so many people can’t actually drink a selection of her “grown up alternatives.”

You’ve had a hard day Jack, wash the teaspoons, dyson the carpets and go to bed.
Normalise calling it a J-Lo for a laugh
 
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I'd like to ask a question about AA which maybe one of our more knowledgeable fraus will be able to answer. Is there any kind of protocol for when someone's misrepresenting it in the media? I mean, could Jack expect anyone to take her aside at her next meeting and suggest to her she not write about it on twitter? Would she get pushback for misinformation or for setting herself up so publicly as the People's Princess unofficial sponsor?
I’m honestly furious about how she talks about AA as most of it is bullshit. I’m going to talk to my relative who is in it and ask them
 
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Couple of name related bits.
Couple of name related bits.
It makes me laugh that "Mx Jack of all Trades " ironically couldn't get a job for 18 months. (Obviously long term unemployment is not funny and my SIL has applied for over 350 jobs with no luck yet) It just makes me smile that a self professed jack of all trades can only take media jobs related to producing toxic waste cooking or selling her average photos because those are the "jobs" that allow for daily naps with Cooper and 2am hair dye adventures.
 
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Her entire origin story is Tuppence To Cross The Mersey a heartrending tall tale of a middle class family falling on hard times
ETA it’s twopence to cross..sounds even more fake
Are these the books set in Liverpool? Think the author was called Helen something. Boy, were they a depressing read. 😢
 
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I am sure It was a lot less weird than it sounds.

I think It was actually quite sweet and very wholesome.
She was only 15 so I'll give her a pass but saying voluntarily handcuffing yourself to a bestie for 5 days puts you into the shoes of conjoined twins is actually pretty shallow and offensive, in my opinion. I'm disabled by M.E. and if someone said spending 5 days at home on the sofa in their pjs put them in my shoes, I'd pop off about it.
 
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has applied for over 350 jobs with no luck
I know job hunting isn’t easy and especially post credit crunch it was even harder (although by 2012 the grad schemes and similar entry level roles I’m assuming she was applying for had recovered) but it really goes to show the power of nepotism doesn’t it? Like someone that literally no other employer wanted & has no qualifications or previous work experience manages to go straight into a £27k p/a role 🥴 and yet she absolutely refuses to acknowledge that was entirely thanks to her dad!
 
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She'd have no trouble getting a job in the hospitality industry. They're desperate
 
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She was only 15 so I'll give her a pass but saying voluntarily handcuffing yourself to a bestie for 5 days puts you into the shoes of conjoined twins is actually pretty shallow and offensive, in my opinion. I'm disabled by M.E. and if someone said spending 5 days at home on the sofa in their pjs put them in my shoes, I'd pop off about it.
I know what's wrong with doing a sponsored walk for the conjoined twins. I did loads at school for loads of charities.
 
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I know job hunting isn’t easy and especially post credit crunch it was even harder (although by 2012 the grad schemes and similar entry level roles I’m assuming she was applying for had recovered) but it really goes to show the power of nepotism doesn’t it? Like someone that literally no other employer wanted & has no qualifications or previous work experience manages to go straight into a £27k p/a role 🥴 and yet she absolutely refuses to acknowledge that was entirely thanks to her dad!
And she admitted in one of her speaking slots years ago (think it was the Edinburgh Festival?) that the first time she applied (strongly encouraged by daddy) she didn't get it but was then able to spend time sitting in on the control room to see how the job worked...she then interviewed again and passed with flying colours. All above board, I'm sure 🥴
 
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I know what's wrong with doing a sponsored walk for the conjoined twins. I did loads at school for loads of charities.
We had 'slave auctions' in our secondary school for the first couple of years I attended (late 90's).
 
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She'd have no trouble getting a job in the hospitality industry. They're desperate
It’s skilled and physically arduous work, plus requires a personality so that’s a no go.

She has no skill set outside of the origins story & being a ticked box for brands. She could possibly provide very low quality copy writing services but surely her rates would reflect that?
 
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