Jack Monroe #194 She only came back cos we were about to put out an album

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'Chavs' was definitely on her reading list in August of last year but we all know that means she didn't read it, especially as it was trapped slap bang in the middle of a big stack of other books rather than being organised properly on a shelf. Why the duck have I remembered that? Soon I will have none of my own memories, it will just be forensic Jack trivia.

The spoon in the egg slop actually looks enormous for a change. The thought of horking down soft taramasalata with soft softy soft egg on it with a dessert spoon is making me feel ill, the egg slowly sliding down her gullet whole like a python swallowing a deer.
Eeeeh, I don’t know what to say. Sloppy hand shake ?
 
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Due to the gallstone probs I was having, I’ve had to cut eggs out. Sadly not 90% vegan as my cheese addiction is still going on, the vegan sheeze actually upset the gallbladder. Anyway now I can’t eat eggs without hours of excruciating pain, they were the only thing I crave, until Fack’s latest eggstrocity.
Next time I’m recalling how well I used to make scrambled eggs, I will just look at the pot of land/air/sea eggs with Salad Finger’s spoon and boom, no more cravings! Thanks Fack!
 
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the "chopped" boiled egg has the grey line of doom around the yolk and will be dry af. it's also not even chopped, it's been hacked with a breadknife judging by the serration marks

also, placing capers on taramasalata makes it look like a black cherry yoghurt 🥴

a nice return to form, thank you Jack 👏 keep the slop coming please and thankspaceyou
 
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Jack's Bootstrapcook Facebook page won't load for me, is that because I am blocked or doesn't she use arsebook any more?
 
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the "chopped" boiled egg has the grey line of doom around the yolk and will be dry af. it's also not even chopped, it's been hacked with a breadknife judging by the serration marks

also, placing capers on taramasalata makes it look like a black cherry yoghurt 🥴

a nice return to form, thank you Jack 👏 keep the slop coming please and thankspaceyou
Capers? In a paupers snack!? Caaaaaapppers?
 
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Jack's Bootstrapcook Facebook page won't load for me, is that because I am blocked or doesn't she use arsebook any more?
Cooking on a Bootstrap page is loading for me, is this the one you mean? She seems to have several. It’s not been updated since June last year.
 
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Tom and Marcus are in the Aldi mag this week, getting right up in that niche. I hate fish pie but would actually eat this, much better looking than Monroes Pov Slop (TM)

View attachment 614444
I remember making something similar to this (without the fish) when I was a kid. It was one of the first things I learned to make with my mum, and I was really proud. It tasted good, too - really a great recipe for the project!

Notice, by the way, that the recipe is written in a "fun" style. Not everyone's cup of tea (I personally don't care for it!), but just compare that with Jack's confusing word salad and overexplanations...
 
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Notice, by the way, that the recipe is written in a "fun" style. Not everyone's cup of tea (I personally don't care for it!), but just compare that with Jack's confusing word salad and overexplanations...
I particularly enjoyed the way they wrote about pepper.
 
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Jack's Bootstrapcook Facebook page won't load for me, is that because I am blocked or doesn't she use arsebook any more?
Christ. I went looking and then saw this…
921EAB96-F5EC-468A-8CAD-0A291E28AC4C.jpeg


Bugger, sorry. I meant this…..
03D0610D-355B-49A9-8F5F-3E438F019249.jpeg

And to think, the nightmares had only just stopped. 😭
 
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I was Googling for our pixie and capers and found this love letter to THAT MAN. https://www.theguardian.com/food/2018/oct/19/jack-monroe-on-jamie-oliver-the-cooks-cook

Apparently his was the only cookery book she had as a poor single mum.

Apart from the versions of the story where she buys all the cookery books from Waterstones.

Or the one where she learned to cook from reading the ingredients on ready meals. Loved that one
Or the one where she learnt to read from the back of jar of Lloyd grossman sauce?
 
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no, your partner just sneaked up on you in the shower wearing the Jack Monroe mask they got you for your birthday like something out of Hitchcock and caused much squealing 🙃
 
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I was Googling for our pixie and capers and found this love letter to THAT MAN. https://www.theguardian.com/food/2018/oct/19/jack-monroe-on-jamie-oliver-the-cooks-cook

Apparently his was the only cookery book she had as a poor single mum.

Apart from the versions of the story where she buys all the cookery books from Waterstones.

Or the one where she learned to cook from reading the ingredients on ready meals. Loved that one
Screenshot_20210612-202606_Chrome.jpg


Fair enough, she felt intimidated by glossy, aspirational cookbooks.

But:

Screenshot_20210612-202745_Chrome.jpg
Screenshot_20210612-202754_Chrome.jpg


🤔🤔🤔
 
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She eats more eggs than any human I know! Urggh, I absolutely hate eggs (land) please make her stop! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🤮
I love eggs, but she is able to make them look, just wrong. That bleeping stinking pink fish spunk, is a dip, not a meal. Her toilet must be rotten and she must leave a trail of fart vapours constantly.

 
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Do you think you can get sea eggs (taramasalata) and river eggs (salmon roe)?

True air eggs could be duck eggs.

Google tells me that when startled, quail can fly vertically so I think land eggs may have to remain as ostrich eggs.

Back in the hotel peeps, life is fun fun fun.
 
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Just saw this comment on Jack's special 'boiled eggs added to a tub of ready made taramasalata' recipe.

Screenshot 2021-06-12 at 20.03.21.png


and I thought to myself 'are you having a laugh, what's to steal?' So I looked on Gizzi's insta and this was posted 4 days ago

Screenshot 2021-06-12 at 20.06.56.png


So I can only assume she's accusing Jack of stealing 😂
 
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