Jack Monroe #193 Mama, pass the UNICEF statistics and the Hansards!

[PortiaControl]

Hee hee

I'm just loving all the squigs inadvertently exposing the fact that this isn't Jack's original idea. She must be fumin'

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It's like when she introduced the thunderclap and then spent the whole time having to explain what it was to everyone criticising it.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

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If the vegetarian half she mentioned then forgot about exists, I’m surprised LJC isn’t keeping her up all night to try and ensure she eats it all overnight and thus can’t feed it her for lunch tomorrow…

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Ohhhhh and we've got two 'thankyou's, the first since the beginning of April which is when I did the previous Slopbot update I'm glad to see she is still happy to keep providing fuel for the Slopbot fire, so to speak. All you have to do to stop the regular updates is a add a space, dear heart. Also if you like I'll send you some beats to spit straight fire over for your mixtape If you ask emerging poet @MancBee nicely he'll probably be up for a rap battle but fair warning you should only step up if you're ready to get merked.

 

[Froggies]

Recipe for Jack’s latest offering of slop:

Bung some cans of veg and beans in a slow cooker. Don’t rinse. Addcheap wet ham and POBP. Leave in slow cooker until it looks like vomit.

 

[PortiaControl]

I Ian't explain it but something about the bay leaves placed atop the congealed slop are giving me A Bug's Life vibes, like little ant surfboards.

In my experience you put bay leaves in near the start? So they have time to actually flavour the food. Then you get the treat of picking them out from your plate if you're lucky enough to have had one served up to you. Here it looks like they've been placed atop for decorative purposes? Weird.

 

[BantzMonkey]

Looks like something from Dr Pimple popper, sorry dear frauens and herrens x
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She's surely not ~proud~ of this is she?!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

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“deliciously rebellious company “ ugh Flowery-language-Jack is one of my least favourites, but pictures-of—horrifying-slop-Jack is my “favourite”, just for the hilarity from the cabal. Swings and roundabouts.

Who called it that she wouldn’t be able to resist a hammock picture?

 

[BantzMonkey]

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Still looking for this disfigured leg she claims to have...

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’m glad you said there’s no such thing as a daft question Jack, because I’ve been wanting to ask...
Where are the patreon subscribers weekly postcards?
Why do you beg for money via PayPal but spend excessively?

Cheers
Hotes

 

[PortiaControl]

My phone goes into "Bedtime Mode" and greyscale after 11pm. I must admit Jack's food offerings look considerably more palatable at this time!

 

[Debarkle]

My teeth hurt after reading her sickly sweet replies to everyone

 

[HotesTilaire]

It's like when she introduced the thunderclap and then spent the whole time having to explain what it was to everyone criticising it.

And we had to do it the following week coz the smol pixie inventor abandoned it

 

[DinosaurSenior]

This has been said many, many times before....but....why dafuq does Jack slow cook tinned beans, which are already cooked?

 

[Cookiecookie]

For duck's sake, are we rinsing beans or not rinsing beans?

She rinses things that don't need it, like spaghetti hoops and baked beans, and doesn't rinse things that do!

 

[Orphan_Black]

'Deliciously rebellious company'

How's copying all the proper chefs being rebellious? They've been in your company and no one wants seconds of you nor your crappy slop.

 

[HotesTilaire]

This has been said many, many times before....but....why dafuq does Jack slow cook tinned beans, which are already cooked?

In case of texture?

 

[Zelda]

Is it really June 2021? I remember a time (not so long ago) when Jack took a break and it seemed like a new beginning.

This was her chance, our chance, a chance for a new world. A future without slop. A future with texture and taste and love….oh, sorry, getting carried away there.

NOTHING HAS CHANGED!

 

[FrumpyCat]

Looks like something from Dr Pimple popper, sorry dear frauens and herrens x
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Snaccident, only two years behind the curve. What will happen when Jack discovers hangry?

 

[Orphan_Black]

Snaccident, only two years behind the curve. What will happen when Jack discovers hangry?

To be fair, cat tit stew looks as thick as wallpaper paste, proper filling I imagine

 

[MaineCoonMama]

To be fair, cat tit stew looks as thick as wallpaper paste, proper filling I imagine

I feel I could monetise this somehow...
Feed the wooooorld