Jack Monroe #174 Hold my hoverboard, Lou, the squigs are dying to see my new PJs

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @NomDeGuerre for the words and @Peeky_Mink for the nomination for thread title! Your prize: one pair of Mark’s and Sparks pyjamas (to share).

Recap of last thread

1. ‘Hello Twitter ...’ she’s after a ‘little private posse of pillars to lean into’.
2. ‘People think she’s a wanker just for breathing.’
3. People had some lofty ideas about who should join her WhatsApp group.
4. She got a ‘I’ll sit this one out’.
5. She wants to make two groups cos one exclusive group isn’t enough.
6. Knitting’s coming along ... that’s it, really. It’s coming along.
7. Swipe up for a brutal affiliate link.
8. New PJs, new her.
9. She’s not having fun! ‘I’m just not posting as much because I’m in a bad place health wise and don’t want to talk about it in any great detail.’
10. She has the super sonic hearing of a vampire and can hear ‘electricity in the walls’ and ‘the softest breezes on the bloody lawn’.
11. ‘I always try to relate stuff to myself (I’m working on it).’
12. She might work on a vegan, diabetic creme egg. (Kacha, list!)
13. Memories ...
14. Dog tags for the boisterous puppydog.
15. Spoiler: Housekeeping

    Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.
    
    There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.
    
    New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.
    
    
    
    [*]

 

[colouredlines]

Strange narrative. She posted this in October...apparently she was NOT having a breakdown in this photo, which must have been very shortly before the shaved head accidental nude.

("I don't look like this right now"? You never did.)

 

[Orphan_Black]

Congratulations to @NomDeGuerre for the words and @Peeky_Mink for the nomination for thread title! Your prize: one pair of Mark’s pyjamas (to share).

Recap of last thread

1. ‘Hello Twitter ... she’s after a ‘little private posse of pillars to lean into’.
2. ‘People think she’s a wanker just for breathing.’
3. People had some lofty ideas about who should join her WhatsApp group.
4. She got a ‘I’ll sit this one out’.
5. She wants to make two groups cos one exclusive group isn’t enough.
6. Knitting’s coming along ... that’s it, really. It’s coming along.
7. Swipe up for a brutal affiliate link.
8. New PJs, new her.
9. She’s not having fun! ‘I’m just not posting as much because I’m in a bad place health wise and don’t want to talk about it in any great detail.’
10. She has the super sonic hearing of a vampire and can hear ‘electricity in the walls’ and ‘the softest breezes on the bloody lawn’.
11. ‘I always try to relate stuff to myself (I’m working on it).
12. She might work on a vegan, diabetic creme egg. (Kacha, list!)
13. Memories ...
14. Dog tags for the boisterous puppydog.
15. Spoiler: Housekeeping

    Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.
    
    There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.
    
    New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.
    
    
    
    [*]

I think this is the most random recap yet. She's all over the shop at the moment!!

(Cheers Poca )

 

[Boyo]

View attachment 513783

Strange narrative. She posted this in October...apparently she was NOT having a breakdown in this photo, which must have been very shortly before the shaved head accidental nude.

("I don't look like this right now"? You never did.)

Bib just ended me.

 

[Malkiavelli]

Bloody hell, re the dog tags, yet more pretentious tit that she seems to have wasted money on..

 

[Profplum]

bleeping hell, I know we all deal with things differently, but when I was in the middle of a mental breakdown, the last thing I thought of (or was capable) of doing, was posing stark bollock naked, in a face full of pretend no make-up, for an artsy sadfishing portrait

 

[emm]

View attachment 513783

Strange narrative. She posted this in October...apparently she was NOT having a breakdown in this photo, which must have been very shortly before the shaved head accidental nude.

("I don't look like this right now"? You never did.)

I am so confused about this photo, it looks like she is trying (and failing) to look like some kind of fitness infleuncer

 

[Silver Linings]

Top pic - 21st October. Bottom - 20 mins ago.

Why does she have her coat on? Does Louisa not keep her in the warmth she’s accustomed to? That wonky rugged, useless cook, dishcloth wiping head of Channel 4 News.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Didn't she spend the summer in her hammock having some time off, as ordered by the doctor?

 

[Silver Linings]

View attachment 513783

Strange narrative. She posted this in October...apparently she was NOT having a breakdown in this photo, which must have been very shortly before the shaved head accidental nude.

("I don't look like this right now"? You never did.)

I still can’t believe that after threads of Partridge comparisons she used ‘bounce back’ unironically.

 

[colouredlines]

View attachment 513788
Top pic - 21st October. Bottom - 20 mins ago.

Why does she have her coat on? Does Louisa not keep her in the warmth she’s accustomed to? That wonky rugged, useless cook, dishcloth wiping head of Channel 4 News.

The last five months have not been kind to her, she's aged about 20 years.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She’s not done herself any favours photoshopping herself so heavily for the last however many months, these new pics look like optical illusions.

@emm start a blind dates thread on here! x

 

[Veronicaaa]

Very lucky to have <tags in agents and publisher> by my side at this difficult time*

*ie when I miss several book deadlines and subsequent extensions.

 

[Malkiavelli]

Very lucky to have <tags in agents and publisher> by my side at this difficult time*

*ie when I miss several book deadlines and subsequent extensions.

Jesus, what a brilliant point - this is all just one big performance, a manipulation as cover for her laziness. Bloody 'ell.

 

[emm]

She’s not done herself any favours photoshopping herself so heavily for the last however many months, these new pics look like optical illusions.

@emm start a blind dates thread on here! x

done!

Guardian Blind Dates

A thread to discuss the Guardian column! latest one here https://www.archive.is/https://www.archive.is/https://www.archive.is/https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/apr/03/blind-date-marion-brenden will any of them work out? probably no, but let's remain optimistic!

tattle.life

 

[Profplum]

I don't like commenting, I do feel a bit mean, but that then & now photo is just bleeping baffling.

I don't understand what we're supposed to take away from it. She looks fine in the black & white one. One would hardly call her gaunt and hollow eyed. In fact I think her face hold a certain joy that is mostly lacking from any other photos.

What am I supposed to be seeing. She's grown her hair? Put some clothes on?

Is this a thirst trap? What? Why?

 

[Veronicaaa]

I don't like commenting, I do feel a bit mean bit that then & now photo is just bleeping baffling.

I don't understand what we're supposed to take away from it. She looks fine in the black & white one. One would hardly call her gaunt and hollow eyed. In fact I think her face hold a certain joy that is mostly lacking from any other photos.

What am I supposed to be seeing. She's grown her hair? Put some clothes on?

Is this a thirst trap? What? Why?

The first photo is in BLACK AND WHITE, which signifies DEPRESSION!! Obviously!

 

[Orphan_Black]

The breakdown photo has tank girl vibes to it.

 

[lalalanded]

Bloody hell, re the dog tags, yet more pretentious tit that she seems to have wasted money on..

I only dip in and out of these threads because they move too fast so apologies if this has been mentioned but did anyone else get 'Live, Laugh, Love' vibes from the dog tags? I just rolled my eyes when I said that but then I really hate motivational quotes. Much prefer the unspirational Instagram account which is more my vibe 'life is hard but at least it's also long and boring'. Stick that on a dog tag.

 

[colouredlines]

I don't like commenting, I do feel a bit mean, but that then & now photo is just bleeping baffling.

I don't understand what we're supposed to take away from it. She looks fine in the black & white one. One would hardly call her gaunt and hollow eyed. In fact I think her face hold a certain joy that is mostly lacking from any other photos.

What am I supposed to be seeing. She's grown her hair? Put some clothes on?

Is this a thirst trap? What? Why?

"I was so poor that I sold all my clothes. Then I couldn't find a job because my nudity was unwelcome at interviews. Talk about a catch 22. Are you listening, Rishi?!"