Jack Monroe #153 I blended my pears specially

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @kachoochoo for the thread title! I know it was kind of a joke, but it tickled me and got the most votes. Your prize: one of Jack’s tin can lanterns. (Safety disclaimer: Do not leave unattended or handle with bare hands. Or ... light. Ever.)


Recap of last thread

1. Move over Oprah, she offered to send someone her red carpet dress.
2. The latest comments under the Telegraph article weren’t favourable.
3. Pringles fillers are the new frugal #JacksHack. Quack quack.
4. She doesn’t want to a be fully accountable green space. Or something.
5. The robot guy found us. It’s ok, Jack called us ‘addicts’ and ‘bored, vicious tossers’. Takes one to to know one.
6. #JacksHacks strikes again. Good old-fashioned japes with tin can alley.
7. Tin can lantern from Fireman Jack. And even more tins.
8. Please use the words ‘thread title’ when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search.
9. New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

This thread title I wonder if said squiggle made the cake.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

A thread a day keeps the doctor away!

Thanks thread Kween @Pocahontas

 

[Pocahontas]

A thread a day keeps the doctor away!

Thanks thread Kween @Pocahontas

Which doctor? Honorary Dr Dr Jack Monroe?

 

[MooBelle]

Morning all.
Two points from last thread...
1.She was delivered a teeny tiny piece of furniture and it was HILARIOUS that it was too small. But I thought 2021 was a year of No Spend Jack? Did you mean 'No Spend but sideboards don't count'?
2. @essexgirl101 is back, hooray! Can I just ask if Jack was actually abducted as a child as she claims? (I suspect not)

 

[kachoochoo]

argh, was in the middle of typing a reply when the last thread closed! hope this copy and paste works.

and yay for my thread title! it is funny and I did make it clear that I was mocking the blending, not the poor squiggle

Smol Bot Man has had some success (busy grunking here).

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a "specialist in data quality"?! I can't get my breath!

that's my job. I would never call myself a "specialist" it's a bog standard band 3 role that any fool with half a brain can do.

no wonder he loves to defend jack, what with their shared endless capacity to embellish and exaggerate

 

[Flash123]

Which doctor? Honorary Dr Dr Jack Monroe?

THE LADY DOCTOR!!!

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Which doctor? Honorary Dr Dr Jack Monroe?

A LADY doctor

 

[Jumpingbeansterrapin]

I am genuinely concerned about her encouraging people to use painted metal tins as bloody tea light holders, especially given her “experience” in the fire service.
You only have to google tealights/danger etc to find many incidents relating to them and the advice from the experts is to ensure they’re in a proper holder due to the metal becoming so hot. I don’t want to do a cross over but i’m hoping someone - a squig with some critical thinking skills?! picks up on it and stops her advising people do this with them

 

[Boyo]

A LADY doctor

“Ooh, a nasty case of Pringleitis there. I prescribe Tom Ford #16 Scarlet Rouge. If you don’t get one gifted in the next couple of days, come back to see me.”

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I'm still trying to get my head around boiling toxins out of chick peas. For some reason my brain has locked on to this out of all the other shite.

I eat my ceci straight from the can, haven't died yet as far as I know.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I don’t want to do a cross over but i’m hoping someone - a squig with some critical thinking skills?! picks up on it and stops her advising people do this with them

You'd think an editor or publisher might pick this up, even if the squigs don't. But ~insert 'who bleeping knows' screenshot~

 

[waffle maker]

Her craft projects are awful. Stacey Solomon is streets ahead of her- her bonkers projects look fine once they are done and fit in with that Mrs Hinch aesthetic they all have. Jack’s look like they were made by stig of the dump.

 

[Captainmouse]

Following the end of the previous thread re NOTJACK and her coriander use, I wonder if she too grows her own?

 

[MaineCoonMama]

You'd think an editor or publisher might pick this up, even if the squigs don't. But ~insert 'who bleeping knows' screenshot~

As someone who has helped others flee a burning building with her super firefighting over-the-phone powers one would imagine she'd view everything with an eye to whether it's a possible fire hazard. Especially with children and pets around.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Her craft projects are awful. Stacey Solomon is streets ahead of her- her bonkers projects look fine once they are done and fit in with that Mrs Hinch aesthetic they all have. Jack’s look like they were made by stig of the dump.

I don't follow Hinch or Stacey but I thought their projects were about decluttering? Jack's seem to be about re-cluttering.

 

[Lanie]

Those craft projects are akin to what my children would make and they are both under 10.

perhaps she might have the sense to use those battery powered tee lights in the tins( 9f course she won't because that would involve using common sense.)

i do wonder about how immature she is for her age, as apart from when I am crafting with my kids doing things like that just wouldn't compute. Why does she act so much younger than her years, I get being a bit immature and laughing at fart jokes etc but this is a different level altogether.

 

[waffle maker]

I don't follow Hinch or Stacey but I thought their projects were about decluttering? Jack's seem to be about re-cluttering.

Mrs Hinch’s house is very very cluttered with grey tat from Home Baragains and B&M- ‘Live Love Laugh’ type pictures and loads of candles and wax melts. Stacey does crafts like decorating a mirror with dried grass or labeling everything (Jack will have got the labeling from looking at these accounts). They consume as much as Jack but present it more nicely. I came to tattle because Mrs Hinch is always banging on about the trolls, and found some very smart people explaining how she was monetizing her feed, as well as a lot of wild conspiracy theories around her dog, son, husband and current pregnancy.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I popped over for a look as I was under the impression she was well-liked.

Jack has no idea how much worse she could be getting slammed.

 

[Pocahontas]

I don't follow Hinch or Stacey but I thought their projects were about decluttering? Jack's seem to be about re-cluttering.

I don’t follow either but I heard from a friend that Stacey Solomon covered her whole bathroom floor with sand as an indoor sandpit