Jack Monroe #129 Jack, could we have a quick chat?

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why is there *always* sad little odds and sods of veg lying around?

thread title 130 what a sad little leek, Jack šŸ¤£
Especially when she does an audit of her foodstuffs every Saturday before the Sunday yellow sticker shop. She should know exactly what she has in the fridge, we have seen how she keeps everything in labelled boxes. Or was she lying then, or lying now.

Who the hell knows?
 
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Please, please just have some bran flakes.

For once.

(are the orange bits in the egg uncooked yolks?)
Might have already been said as itā€™s lunchtime now but the orange yolks are probably from Burford Brown eggs, fancy!

Edit: Also, werenā€™t her taste buds back yesterday when she devoured three sandwiches like a greedy Labrador?!
 
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Schrƶdingerā€™s Jack - who simultaneously lives like a peasant in a freezing crappy Rented Bungalow with a much smaller kitchen than better other food writers, and is vErY hApPy with the size of her enormous tropical kitchen with a bleeping Ā£3000 Smeg fridge.

I loathe her.
 
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I came back to try again and she appears to have eaten the contents of a colostomy bag for breakfast šŸ¤®. And that library comment about the green cleaning book- just buy a copy you bleeping tool, youā€™ve definitely got the disposable income. Stop hinting and begging on the internet.
Iā€™m really not normally so shouty but she really knows what sheā€™s doing doesnā€™t she? Prick šŸ˜‚
 
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The only time she has ever advised people to cook something on a high heat on the hob and it's finely sliced leeks with vinegar. WRONG. They would go all brown and crispy and can you imagine the vinegar fumes? Jeez, it would blast you out of the kitchen.
 
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Well you're quite right - it would be tit. Why would you eat it though?

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God, just imagine. Even without touching the food aspect, it'd be such a Jack experience. People turning up for brunch only to find the cafe randomly closed because she's dino napping/had a Jaccident the night before. Diners being treated to daily retellings of The Poverty before they even get to see the menu. Tip jars on every table.
 
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She could have gently removed the old cleaning rag before she took the picture of the regurgitated slop
Don't you know she's her own set designer and sources all of her own props?! I mean it's A LOT of work to do it as well as she does.

Especially when she has a garden full of frost to be gazed upon ever so softly and gently and mindfully.
 
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The only time she has ever advised people to cook something on a high heat on the hob and it's finely sliced leeks with vinegar. WRONG. They would go all brown and crispy and can you imagine the vinegar fumes? Jeez, it would blast you out of the kitchen.
This is what I don't get - she's obsessed with slow cooking everything for hours until it breaks down into brown sludge, but when it comes to things that actually benefit from a slow, gentle cook, like leeks or onions, she either frazzles them in 30 seconds or chucks them in cold with all the other ingredients šŸ˜±
 
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Thanks for the earworm.
I'm sorry - BOILED FOR 12ISH HOURS!? For stock made up of veg scraps!? What's the point in that? I've done the whole freezing scraps and making stock from them in the past (don't have room in the freezer for it nowšŸ™„) and I would let them (gently, softly) simmer for an hour max. Can't see an extra 11 hours making any difference, unless she's making bone broth and that isn't very vegan now is it?
 
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I mean, she even has the non-existent toaster on full view!

Pathological! (Iā€™m not a doctor, Mā€™lud, just guessing)

 
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I mean, she even has the non-existent toaster on full view!

Pathological! (Iā€™m not a doctor, Mā€™lud, just guessing)

Wonder if she got it in the sale.

Ā£80 on a toaster whilst begging for furlough money is absolutely not on.
 
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I mean, she even has the non-existent toaster on full view!

Pathological! (Iā€™m not a doctor, Mā€™lud, just guessing)

Itā€™s a horrible collection of tat.

put your apron in the wash if it is dirty,keep the clean ones folded up. Donā€™t have a rack of greasy old aprons.
 
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So most of the time you think not washing them is fine because you boil them for so long, but you simultaneously have a special nail brush you wash them all with? OK, makes sense. Maybe you *should* think about using it for your nails.

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I think in places where burglaries are an issue, I'd probably put a load of tut in front of a particularly easy window to access because the noise might put somebody off. But then again, I wouldn't have patio doors/French windows with old locks and display all the expensive gadgets that somebody could get twenty quid for from Cash Converters.
 
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Here are some calculations for you.

Running a slowcooker for 4 hours - 11p (according to npower)
Buying organic veg so you can actually use the peelings to keep the stock 'chemical -free' - 89% more expensive than non-organic veg
Large silicone bag - Ā£10 (amazon)
Slow cooker - Ā£15 (argos)
Ice cube tray - 50p (wilko)
 
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So most of the time you think not washing them is fine because you boil them for so long, but you simultaneously have a special nail brush you wash them all with? OK, makes sense. Maybe you *should* think about using it for your nails.

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What restaurants is this squiggle eating in?! Are they just of the Jack school of ā€œtexture badā€??
 
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