Jack Monroe #129 Jack, could we have a quick chat?

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VIP Member
why is there *always* sad little odds and sods of veg lying around?

thread title 130 what a sad little leek, Jack 🤣
Especially when she does an audit of her foodstuffs every Saturday before the Sunday yellow sticker shop. She should know exactly what she has in the fridge, we have seen how she keeps everything in labelled boxes. Or was she lying then, or lying now.

Who the hell knows?
I came back to try again and she appears to have eaten the contents of a colostomy bag for breakfast 🤮. And that library comment about the green cleaning book- just buy a copy you fucking tool, you’ve definitely got the disposable income. Stop hinting and begging on the internet.
I’m really not normally so shouty but she really knows what she’s doing doesn’t she? Prick 😂


Well-known member
Well you're quite right - it would be shit. Why would you eat it though?

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God, just imagine. Even without touching the food aspect, it'd be such a Jack experience. People turning up for brunch only to find the cafe randomly closed because she's dino napping/had a Jaccident the night before. Diners being treated to daily retellings of The Poverty before they even get to see the menu. Tip jars on every table.


Well-known member
The only time she has ever advised people to cook something on a high heat on the hob and it's finely sliced leeks with vinegar. WRONG. They would go all brown and crispy and can you imagine the vinegar fumes? Jeez, it would blast you out of the kitchen.
This is what I don't get - she's obsessed with slow cooking everything for hours until it breaks down into brown sludge, but when it comes to things that actually benefit from a slow, gentle cook, like leeks or onions, she either frazzles them in 30 seconds or chucks them in cold with all the other ingredients 😱


New member
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Thanks for the earworm.
I'm sorry - BOILED FOR 12ISH HOURS!? For stock made up of veg scraps!? What's the point in that? I've done the whole freezing scraps and making stock from them in the past (don't have room in the freezer for it now🙄) and I would let them (gently, softly) simmer for an hour max. Can't see an extra 11 hours making any difference, unless she's making bone broth and that isn't very vegan now is it?


Chatty Member
I mean, she even has the non-existent toaster on full view!

Pathological! (I’m not a doctor, M’lud, just guessing)

Wonder if she got it in the sale.

£80 on a toaster whilst begging for furlough money is absolutely not on.
I think in places where burglaries are an issue, I'd probably put a load of tut in front of a particularly easy window to access because the noise might put somebody off. But then again, I wouldn't have patio doors/French windows with old locks and display all the expensive gadgets that somebody could get twenty quid for from Cash Converters.


VIP Member
So most of the time you think not washing them is fine because you boil them for so long, but you simultaneously have a special nail brush you wash them all with? OK, makes sense. Maybe you *should* think about using it for your nails.

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What restaurants is this squiggle eating in?! Are they just of the Jack school of “texture bad”??
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