Jack Monroe #123 CAROLE MALONE IS AWAY

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Mate, I've just got a vegan Dominos in and I'm not moving my fat arse from this sofa.

<inserts frenzied popcorn eating GIF>
Brian, you are GOALS. I was going to bake a cake and try dancing this baby out...oh well, looks like I’m stuck in the sofa with my battery pack, play doh and my pox toddler 😂
 
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Erm, squig! She has a huge local network who could shop for her, an apparently endless store cupboard, a thriving Ocado account, and also if you’ve been told to isolate the government will organise for you to not starve! So that’s the lamest excuse ever (to run out to but The Express). Also chippy tea = non essential, hun.
The very fact she went out to buy the paper with her face on it show how self centred and how much she loves herself. Couldn't she have asked a neighbour to drop one in on the way past. The fact she bought three makes the imagine she has her very own stalker room complete with her own pictures everywhere.

I don't think JO or anyone else who know they are professional and a half decent chef goes after his own face in the paper.
 
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go on blue squig! Also she does have other people who can shop for her if she was running out of food. Her dad, Ocado, SBs dad seeing as they are besties or her mystery soap leaving neighbour could all have done a doorstep drop off. Also she was given SO MUCH fish
Also at the start of her ‘isolation’ she said she was fully stocked up so she shouldn’t have had to leave the house, even for food.
 
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My fella is occupied on the PS5 (his not mine sadly waaaaa) and I'm eagerly awaiting the new thread too 😂 It turns out the thing to do during that period between Christmas and New Year is wait anxiously for a habitual liar to be exposed
 
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Erm, squig! She has a huge local network who could shop for her, an apparently endless store cupboard, a thriving Ocado account, and also if you’ve been told to isolate the government will organise for you to not starve! So that’s the lamest excuse ever (to run out to but The Express). Also chippy tea = non essential, hun.
Plus SB is of an age where he could realistically pop down to a corner shop for essentials if it were needed...and even if, as she claims, it's impossible to get a supermarket delivery slot in her part of Southend, Deliveroo and other food delivery apps have started offering grocery deliveries to people having to self-isolate. There are literally dozens of options that don't involve her going out in person and spreading her germs. It's amazing the hoops some squiggles will jump through just to defend her.

Mate, I've just got a vegan Dominos in and I'm not moving my fat arse from this sofa.

<inserts frenzied popcorn eating GIF>
I hope it's covered in pepperoni, anchovies, egg slices and three types of animal rennet cheese, in the spirit of honouring Jack's own special definition of "vegan."
 
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The squig who claims Social Services would have come round if Jack hadn't gone to the shop (to buy the Express) is a few Del Monte peaches short of a curry.
 
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it's just a bit of a shame that a lot of the critical squiggles are "critical" in other ways. feeds her narrative of being targeted by the right wing 😞
You’re right. She’ll wriggle out of it blaming ableist, right wing haters and the right-on blue tickers will nod sagely. They’ve suffered too, dear plebs. They can’t get any decent bread as the local artisan bakery shut down in the first lockdown and now they have to make do with ‘shitey whitey’ bread delivered by Ocado.
 
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Gah, I'm supposed to be cleaning the house, but this is right up there with thread 31!
 
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This thread has been an absolute corker, it has to be said. One day we'll speak of 'the Carole Malone thread' in hushed, reverent whispers.
 
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Cripes! I've not been here long but this seems to be a roller coaster ( Rona Coaster...anyone? 😀 ) even for Jack. I snorted leftover nut roast out of my nose while reading this thread last night.

"I don't put everything I do on Twitter".
Obviously, I just wet myself at that little gem.😀
 
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Gah, I'm supposed to be cleaning the house, but this is right up there with thread 31!
Me too. My last day off and thought I'd have a quick look at Tattle before I got started.....

Now I'm still in bed, watching 'National Lampoons Christmas' and eating Haribo whilst Grunking...

This thread has been an absolute corker, it has to be said. One day we'll speak of 'the Carole Malone thread' in hushed, reverent whispers.
We'll say things like 'remember #123? Those were the days....'
 
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You’re right. She’ll wriggle out of it blaming ableist, right wing haters and the right-on blue tickers will nod sagely. They’ve suffered too, dear plebs. They can’t get any decent bread as the local artisan bakery shut down in the first lockdown and now they have to make do with ‘shitey whitey’ bread delivered by Ocado.
Fully agree with you both, but I’ve had a nosy at some of accounts questioning her, and there are at least a few decent, non-trolly, non-tattle-reading ones!



(hopefully!)
 
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Wow that has been an epic Grunka. We are going to have a chaos right on time! An enlightened squiggle is a beautiful sight to behold too.
 
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