Thanks to @girl1980 for the thread title!
If anyone can do a summary without falling asleep then please do.
If anyone can do a summary without falling asleep then please do.
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I think this thread title is one of my faves
Awww shucks. My first thread title 
I shall celebrate with a potato I've had cooking in the oven since Sunday, and a glass of wine but I don't drink wine.
I shall celebrate with a potato I've had cooking in the oven since Sunday, and a glass of wine
Go wild and treat yourself to a tent to wear, a pedicure just for your big toes and a blink.Awww shucks. My first thread title
I shall celebrate with a potato I've had cooking in the oven since Sunday, and a glass of winebut I don't drink wine.
Celebrate by reading an audio book in the bath, sipping on a smewwwwthie drinkAwww shucks. My first thread title
I shall celebrate with a potato I've had cooking in the oven since Sunday, and a glass of winebut I don't drink wine.
Don't forget to aff link the audio book that you read
Imagine having the time and money they have to repaint the whole house cos the shade of white you chose isn’t the perfect shade of white. My head hurts for her
It's all to try and distract from the fact that she absolutely hates that house. She's got a bad case of buyers remorse
Thanks for the new thread and what an amazing title. Here's a recap for anyone who has missed recent events in Dan's tedious thrilling life.
She returned from Greece where she spent 17 hours a day on a ferry from one island to another, ate gyros and drank beer. She bought 2 pairs of snide Raybans from a shop in Chania for 10 euros and then linked the ACTUAL RAYBANS WEBSITE, cos she's a shameless, greedy, money-grabbing woman with no moral compass. Upon returning home, she booked her next holiday, she's off to Mexico in November cos she LOVES the cuisine (spoiler alert - she once went to Chiquitos in Wakefied for a fajita) and now thinks she's an expert. She's after a collab with Old El Paso.
She had to miss out on 36 hours of Insta stories while her sister was in labour. She boomeranged the head crowning and her sister's baby looks a lot like Chesney, not that I'm insinuating anything
.
Her and Chesney had a night out and walked home 11 miles through a field, ruining Chesney's new trainers in the process cos she's too tight to cough up for a taxi. She then shamed Ches by recording him drunk sleep talking and sharing it in Insta but Chesney isn't bothered because most of her followers are bought and the genuine ones watch her stories on mute so jokes on you Dan.
She's discovered Amazon Prime and Dansplained it to the nation; Her purchases include a gel nail kit, so as well a dog groomer she's now a nail technician. Unconfirmed reports suggest that she's going to buy a brow tattoo kit and do her own eyebrows which frankly couldn't be worse than where she goes now
She hates the shade of white that her house is painted so she's painting it a different shade of white because that's how much of a Princess she is.
Finally, she's bought 2894 tent dresses because she has a 3 day wedding coming up this weekend; She is pretending to be excited about this, but deep down she's sad because the wedding will last into Sunday which is her favourite day, the day she has a Sunday roast, a Sunday walk, does her Sunday jobs, has her Sunday trinkets touched up by Ches and has a Sunday bath.
Hope this helps
She returned from Greece where she spent 17 hours a day on a ferry from one island to another, ate gyros and drank beer. She bought 2 pairs of snide Raybans from a shop in Chania for 10 euros and then linked the ACTUAL RAYBANS WEBSITE, cos she's a shameless, greedy, money-grabbing woman with no moral compass. Upon returning home, she booked her next holiday, she's off to Mexico in November cos she LOVES the cuisine (spoiler alert - she once went to Chiquitos in Wakefied for a fajita) and now thinks she's an expert. She's after a collab with Old El Paso.
She had to miss out on 36 hours of Insta stories while her sister was in labour. She boomeranged the head crowning and her sister's baby looks a lot like Chesney, not that I'm insinuating anything
.Her and Chesney had a night out and walked home 11 miles through a field, ruining Chesney's new trainers in the process cos she's too tight to cough up for a taxi. She then shamed Ches by recording him drunk sleep talking and sharing it in Insta but Chesney isn't bothered because most of her followers are bought and the genuine ones watch her stories on mute so jokes on you Dan.
She's discovered Amazon Prime and Dansplained it to the nation; Her purchases include a gel nail kit, so as well a dog groomer she's now a nail technician. Unconfirmed reports suggest that she's going to buy a brow tattoo kit and do her own eyebrows which frankly couldn't be worse than where she goes now
She hates the shade of white that her house is painted so she's painting it a different shade of white because that's how much of a Princess she is.
Finally, she's bought 2894 tent dresses because she has a 3 day wedding coming up this weekend; She is pretending to be excited about this, but deep down she's sad because the wedding will last into Sunday which is her favourite day, the day she has a Sunday roast, a Sunday walk, does her Sunday jobs, has her Sunday trinkets touched up by Ches and has a Sunday bath.
Hope this helps
Thanks for the new thread and what an amazing title. Here's a recap for anyone who has missed recent events in Dan'stediousthrilling life.
She returned from Greece where she spent 17 hours a day on a ferry from one island to another, ate gyros and drank beer. She bought 2 pairs of snide Raybans from a shop in Chania for 10 euros and then linked the ACTUAL RAYBANS WEBSITE, cos she's a shameless, greedy, money-grabbing woman with no moral compass. Upon returning home, she booked her next holiday, she's off to Mexico in November cos she LOVES the cuisine (spoiler alert - she once went to Chiquitos in Wakefied for a fajita) and now thinks she's an expert. She's after a collab with Old El Paso.
She had to miss out on 36 hours of Insta stories while her sister was in labour. She boomeranged the head crowning and her sister's baby looks a lot like Chesney, not that I'm insinuating anything
Her and Chesney had a night out and walked home 11 miles through a field, ruining Chesney's new trainers in the process cos she's too tight to cough up for a taxi. She then shamed Ches by recording him drunk sleep talking and sharing it in Insta but Chesney isn't bothered because most of her followers are bought and the genuine ones watch her stories on mute so jokes on you Dan.
She's discovered Amazon Prime and Dansplained it to the nation; Her purchases include a gel nail kit, so as well a dog groomer she's now a nail technician. Unconfirmed reports suggest that she's going to buy a brow tattoo kit and do her own eyebrows which frankly couldn't be worse than where she goes now
She hates the shade of white that her house is painted so she's painting it a different shade of white because that's how much of a Princess she is.
Finally, she's bought 2894 tent dresses because she has a 3 day wedding coming up this weekend; She is pretending to be excited about this, but deep down she's sad because the wedding will last into Sunday which is her favourite day, the day she has a Sunday roast, a Sunday walk, does her Sunday jobs, has her Sunday trinkets touched up by Ches and has a Sunday bath.
Hope this helps
This is why I'm here. Not for Dan at all
I had all 10 of my toenails painted yesterday and thought of our Dansplainer
The bit about watching her stories on mute
I listened to her stories with the volume up in front of my little one once, and they asked me if it was a robot
'Shes ater a collab with old el paso' hahahaha
She’s quiet today 
then again, it’s Thursday and isn’t Thursday her long, working from home, day and she’s soo tired she can’t possibly cremate cook any tea so Ches has to do it or it’s a batch cooked, frozen meal??
then again, it’s Thursday and isn’t Thursday her long, working from home, day and she’s soo tired she can’t possibly Yes, Thursday is her long day. She's probably going to have some variation of (dry) pasta if she has any energy left, otherwise it will be a defrosted portion of chilli (also dried out).She’s quiet todaycrematecook any tea so Ches has to do it or it’s a batch cooked, frozen meal??
What a sad little life Jane
You really didn't need to do that, babes.
I came of Dan’s thread maybe on number 6/7? Can’t remember exactly. When she was possibly having her lips read by someone on Holiday (I taddled myself over to TikTok you see) but daaaaamn Daniel. How has she literally not changed? How is that even possible? The same loooooong day at home so can’t possibly cook, the cremated food, the house still isn’t what she wanted. Tents galore. Please tell me, does she still ‘read’ a book on Audio? It’s just all the same. How can someone possibly not change even a smidge in any amount of time?
I think she's a robotic experiment. That's the only way to explain it
Her lips read?
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