It’s me again!😭 with yet another relationship dilemma

[Missgobby124]

So as I’m sure many of you have seen, I’ve been through quite a lot of silly dilemmas lately. But I appreciate the advice you all give and love being able to share on here anonymously. I can’t really talk to anyone else about it so always run to tattle. Anyhoo, I’m in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. He’s honestly the best and makes me so happy. He’s always telling me he loves me and no one else has ever made me feel so loved. Today we met up outside at the local park, and he was searching on Instagram and just by the smallest chance I saw the name of his ex. I of course ( I have a big mouth) mentioned it. I said “why was you searching up your ex?” he immediately got defensive and started to say things like “just go home”. after a few minutes he started saying to me how he prob searched her ages ago. Then he said how he probably showed her to his colleague at work. (, wtf? Who even does that lol that’s weird too in my opinion is this just a guy thing?) I just feel kinda struck by it. He always tells me he’s so into me and when I saw that it broke me. Am I overreacting? Is this something you wouldn’t be upset over? Am I just being silly? Ah honestly I know it’s such a tiny thing. He searched up his ex. He acknowledged that he hurt me before we said our goodbyes and said he’s fully over her and doesn’t even think of her. It’s just so weird. Would you be upset by your partner searching their ex? Sorry for always sharing these types of things

 

[CosmicCreepers]

My friend had a similar dilemma. Turns out he had shown a friend his ex due to the said friend bumping into her in town and wanting confirmation it was in fact her. Please try not to panic, usually there is many more warning signs something isnt right if he was still caught up on his ex. I know how worrying it is, but if he hasnt changed the way he is towards you I wouldnt worry. I know sometimes people can hide things well but trust your gut instinct. I'm sure everything is okay x

 

[Barbie2020]

So as I’m sure many of you have seen, I’ve been through quite a lot of silly dilemmas lately. But I appreciate the advice you all give and love being able to share on here anonymously. I can’t really talk to anyone else about it so always run to tattle. Anyhoo, I’m in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. He’s honestly the best and makes me so happy. He’s always telling me he loves me and no one else has ever made me feel so loved. Today we met up outside at the local park, and he was searching on Instagram and just by the smallest chance I saw the name of his ex. I of course ( I have a big mouth) mentioned it. I said “why was you searching up your ex?” he immediately got defensive and started to say things like “just go home”. after a few minutes he started saying to me how he prob searched her ages ago. Then he said how he probably showed her to his colleague at work. (, wtf? Who even does that lol that’s weird too in my opinion is this just a guy thing?) I just feel kinda struck by it. He always tells me he’s so into me and when I saw that it broke me. Am I overreacting? Is this something you wouldn’t be upset over? Am I just being silly? Ah honestly I know it’s such a tiny thing. He searched up his ex. He acknowledged that he hurt me before we said our goodbyes and said he’s fully over her and doesn’t even think of her. It’s just so weird. Would you be upset by your partner searching their ex? Sorry for always sharing these types of things

I think you probably need to be on your own for a bit and try and find some happiness without relying on anyone else. It’s not normal for this much drama at the beginning of a relationship. I think you’d struggle the longer you stayed together.

Life is way too short.

 

[MaxieMoo]

So as I’m sure many of you have seen, I’ve been through quite a lot of silly dilemmas lately. But I appreciate the advice you all give and love being able to share on here anonymously. I can’t really talk to anyone else about it so always run to tattle. Anyhoo, I’m in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. He’s honestly the best and makes me so happy. He’s always telling me he loves me and no one else has ever made me feel so loved. Today we met up outside at the local park, and he was searching on Instagram and just by the smallest chance I saw the name of his ex. I of course ( I have a big mouth) mentioned it. I said “why was you searching up your ex?” he immediately got defensive and started to say things like “just go home”. after a few minutes he started saying to me how he prob searched her ages ago. Then he said how he probably showed her to his colleague at work. (, wtf? Who even does that lol that’s weird too in my opinion is this just a guy thing?) I just feel kinda struck by it. He always tells me he’s so into me and when I saw that it broke me. Am I overreacting? Is this something you wouldn’t be upset over? Am I just being silly? Ah honestly I know it’s such a tiny thing. He searched up his ex. He acknowledged that he hurt me before we said our goodbyes and said he’s fully over her and doesn’t even think of her. It’s just so weird. Would you be upset by your partner searching their ex? Sorry for always sharing these types of things

I wouldn't worry too much. Probably just looking to be nosey. I'm sure loads of people do it. I don't think it's a reflection on how he feels about you. That is the problem with social media I think, it makes us a little bit inquisitive / nosey. Don't worry too much about it. I'm sure it's nothing.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I’ve looked up my ex a few times on social media and I wouldnt take him back if he was the last man on earth! I’m just nosey and want to see what he’s up to! mainly because he’s a creep, but that’s a whole other story! I wouldn’t worry.

 

[WhatABore]

I've looked up my exs many times. Even sat and discussed things with my Partner about them
Like others have said, I wouldn't take them back if they were the last people on earth. People just like to be nosey

 

[Missgobby124]

I’ve looked up my ex a few times on social media and I would take him back if he was the last man on earth! I’m just nosey and want to see what he’s up to! mainly because he’s a creep, but that’s a whole other story! I wouldn’t worry.

I get this because I’ve done it in the past too I guess it’s only normal to look, super reassuring though to see your comments about it

 

[gee_beth]

So as I’m sure many of you have seen, I’ve been through quite a lot of silly dilemmas lately. But I appreciate the advice you all give and love being able to share on here anonymously. I can’t really talk to anyone else about it so always run to tattle. Anyhoo, I’m in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. He’s honestly the best and makes me so happy. He’s always telling me he loves me and no one else has ever made me feel so loved. Today we met up outside at the local park, and he was searching on Instagram and just by the smallest chance I saw the name of his ex. I of course ( I have a big mouth) mentioned it. I said “why was you searching up your ex?” he immediately got defensive and started to say things like “just go home”. after a few minutes he started saying to me how he prob searched her ages ago. Then he said how he probably showed her to his colleague at work. (, wtf? Who even does that lol that’s weird too in my opinion is this just a guy thing?) I just feel kinda struck by it. He always tells me he’s so into me and when I saw that it broke me. Am I overreacting? Is this something you wouldn’t be upset over? Am I just being silly? Ah honestly I know it’s such a tiny thing. He searched up his ex. He acknowledged that he hurt me before we said our goodbyes and said he’s fully over her and doesn’t even think of her. It’s just so weird. Would you be upset by your partner searching their ex? Sorry for always sharing these types of things

I personally feel that this is an overreaction. However it makes me sad that you feel really upset by him searching up his ex. I’m sure there’s nothing more to it other than curiosity or wanting to be nosy. Do you trust him? I’m just wondering what’s making you feel this way, why are you worried that he’s searching her up for any reason other than to snoop? Can you really say that you don’t search up guys on social media?

ETA: also how old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I get the impression you’re quite young and this is a new-ish relationship?

 

[BettyCrocker]

A relationship really shouldn’t be this hard work or have this level of constant drama and nonsense. It’s just all unnecessary bullshit. I genuinely think you need to be on your own and get yourself sorted out. Who could be arsed with all of this crap?!

 

[Missgobby124]

I personally feel that this is an overreaction. However it makes me sad that you feel really upset by him searching up his ex. I’m sure there’s nothing more to it other than curiosity or wanting to be nosy. Do you trust him? I’m just wondering what’s making you feel this way, why are you worried that he’s searching her up for any reason other than to snoop? Can you really say that you don’t search up guys on social media?

ETA: also how old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I get the impression you’re quite young and this is a new-ish relationship?

I do trust him, I get a feeling inside that it isn’t a sinister reason but I guess I just got worried when I saw it because I knew it was his ex and I immediately thought “whaaaat”. Because he’s always badmouthed her and said she was nobody to him, so it kind of felt weird for him to be searching her. And true, I have done too in the past, and I understand that sometimes we just feel nosy I guess. Also I’m 26 and yes this is a fairly new relationship, I’ve been with him a few months now

A relationship really shouldn’t be this hard work or have this level of constant drama and nonsense. It’s just all unnecessary bullshit. I genuinely think you need to be on your own and get yourself sorted out. Who could be arsed with all of this crap?!

It isn’t really hard work at all, I understand it may seem that way because of the stuff I post here, but it’s just an insight into a small part, the rest of our relationship is really happy and feels so solid. I just kind of got a funny feeling in my chest when I saw the ex! Just made me feel funny inside because I knew she messaged him at the start of our relationship and I immediately felt quite suspicious. but genuinely our relationship isn’t dramatic at all, it’s just sometimes these small things happen and I tend to come here and post for advice as I tend to keep all my issues to myself. It helps me a lot to share it and definitely helps me mentally to see the comments written by others

 

[Youre a wizard Harry]

I understand why you are worried, but I think you may be reading too much into it. I have a nosey on loads of people’s Facebook, including exes, simply because I am nosy!
My colleagues and I will often look people up on Facebook when we are telling stories about our pasts (including ex partners- so I think your partner is telling the truth.)

 

[LittleMy]

I think you’d have a harder time trying to find someone who doesn’t check up on their ex out of curiosity; many won’t admit to it. I get you have insecurities and I do sympathise with that but if you’re not careful, you run the risk of self sabotage as far as your relationship is concerned. Neediness/clinginess can wear a relationship down.

 

[The Devils Arse]

A relationship really shouldn’t be this hard work or have this level of constant drama and nonsense. It’s just all unnecessary bullshit. I genuinely think you need to be on your own and get yourself sorted out. Who could be arsed with all of this crap?!

I love your no nonsense, no Bullshit approach Betty.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I occasionally look up my ex, I’ve been married for 10 years! He got fat and still lives with his mum

I think you need to stop worrying about so many minor things, I take it your young and want the perfect relationship but pick your battles.

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

I think it might be an overreaction, tbh. I'm nosy and I search for my exes, old colleagues and school friends and such but it doesn't mean I have any feelings for them. My partner regularly has a nosy at his ex and it's not because he still has feelings for her, in fact it reinforces why he's not still with her. If it really bothers you and you think it's a sign that he's not as interested in you as he acts, you need to ask yourself why you feel like that. Is it because he isn't trustworthy or is it because you have trust issues. If it's the first one, you need to end the relationship. If it's the second, you need to work on those issues or you could end up ruining your relationship.

 

[Base2019]

Let’s be real, we all look up our exes on social media for the snoop to see what they’re at I think your naive to think otherwise. It doesn’t mean that we want them back, it’s just a curiosity thing

I think if you were 100% confident in your relationship this wouldn’t be an issue. The fact that your gut has you on asking for advice a few times now (which isn’t bad btw, it’s good to ask these things ) makes me think you know deep down the relationship isn’t perfect.

When your young, which I think you are, a relationship is meant to be all sweetness and light and amazingly easy. If it’s anything less, please let it go. Life is too short.

You deserve the best

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Hmm. I’ve searched mine out of pure nosiness plenty of times, I’m not interested in them further than seeing how they’re getting on.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I agree with everyone saying it’s normal to see what exes are up to but I don’t think your boyfriend’s reaction to you seeing it was normal? Why couldn’t he just say oh someone I know bumped into her so we were checking? Getting defensive and telling you to go home does seem a bit odd to me. That said I haven’t seen your other posts so probably don’t have the full picture.

 

[TheScarletgirl]

I have not seen your other posts. A lot of people do look up ex's I do this because i am nosey ! I also look up school friends who I don't keep in touch with .Sometimes it is just curiosity.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Agree with Betty. Theres a lot of silly dramas.

You should spend some time building up your own confidence. I have been mega insecure and neurotic over the years with new relationships and honestly, its so draining. I know you guys are young, but its all a bit silly. Open communication, trust, confidence.. you need these things as a couple.