welp
VIP Member
I've been sideeying this hard ever since the news broke and have been meaning to make this write up ever since then because the press doesnt seem to know much background, and I can't say that I'm really convinced of her side of the story (which is the only side we get). I have been following her for a while on twitter because she always had kind of a reputation (and I was always amazed how a guy like him had been this long with her, which made me question if he really is as nice as it appeared), so this is going to be a tad long, so apologies in advance, but it may help to put things into perspective.
Many people say that she acts like this because the break up made her emotional and thus her reaction is understandable and his fault, but the truth is that she was always like this.
This one here was about two years ago: she started randomly attacking a twitter user with a good following (apparently because he blocked her or something) and then acted like she was attacked. by other users too, apparently, but it was so damn weird, nobody got what the hell she was going on about, and this went on for three whole days, ending with her threatening to commit suicide while she was home alone with the kids (that's a album with 8 images, I ran out of pictures for this post, lol)
This was about a year ago her reaction to somebody parking in the wrong parking spot
Before they got married he shut down his own fanwebsite because people were making negative comments about her outfits. He isnt very tech-savvy, so everyone figured that she was behind it. There were also strong hints about her acting extremely toxic on imdb boards and other places about his projects
https://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/12026293.html
She even showed signs of her craziness last summer against him. She had during lockdown many politically questionable conversations, like these ones:
which earned many reactions in the tone of "This is Ioan Gruffudd's wife, wtf?", and even some relatively well-known influencers questioned him about his wife's behavior (by tagging him, he didnt reply, he has been pretty much inactive for two years). Not too long after this she mentioned on her twitter that her husband wants to discuss with her whether she should delete twitter, which earned him quite a shitstorm, instead of defending him for having good intentions (her own mental help, preventing to get cancelled and thus running into existence issues, etc.) she accussed him of only caring about his career. This incident alone makes me question how she thought that it all came out of the blue tbh.
coincidentally or not, this also marks pretty much the point from which on he always looked miserable on all her IG posts, she even commented back on some of those a couple of weeks ago (her side probably thinks that it matches with him coming back from Australia, and it likely means that he met somebody there, but he actually was just two weeks there in August because production was suspended due to Covid in march)
And let's not forget her essentially inflicting emotional abuse on her 7 years old by showing off the newspaper article about the divorce.
The thing is also, not only she is kinda crazy, she is also very unreliable in her tellings, and it's also showing in this divorce. She started off with claiming that he leaves his kids too (not only in her initial statement but also later by saying that she isnt seeing him coming back to "us"). But turns out he applied for joint custody, spends time with them (they even were spotted by paps) and she even kinda complained lately about how the lawyers want to propose the custody plan.
Then there is the whole thing with him "suddenly" dumping her (which she contradicted herself quickly, by saying that it was 6 months of "yes/no/maybe"). Leaving aside the little story I mentioned above (and I'm sure there must have been other cracks in private too, even if she may have been oblivious to it), she in fact tweeted back in september that he told her that he no longer loves her!
Given that the divorce papers state New Years Day as the seperation date (which is still much earlier than what she claimed in her original statement) this means that he gave them 3 months to try to re-ignite any feelings (or well, that's maybe how long he thought he needs to sit out at least until it's perceived reasonable for him to go, idk). And her behavior during these months in public was actually not any different to anything else before, she was talking a lot about him in a lovely way. But she was also occasionally dropping hints
There is no doubt that the seperation date in the divorce papers are about correct. I do remember her having between christmas and new years eve a meltdown on Instagram about her relationship. She was posting a not-seen-before(I guess?)-video from their anniversary in september where they attempted to take a selfie. And he just kept adjusting his hair and corrected a wrong thing she said about how many years they've been married. She appeared irritated to both of these things which seemed a odd thing to be upset about. She captioned that video with a lot of confusing stuff (partly due to grammar, so probably drunk) and the only thing I really remember from this is her saying that in hindsight it was so obvious that he rather wanted to be anywhere else than besides her, especially since he also told her not too long after this video was taken that he no longer loves her (matches with the tweet further up). And people in the comments were confused as hell, some were calling them cute, wishing them well, others were asking if they broke up, and others were agreeing with her that he was rude to her in that video (he definitely wasnt!). She also added a Instagram story with a standstill of that video and yet again tons of confusing heartbreaking shit written there that I dont remember, I only remember her closing it up with "he says I dont have any friends". All of this was erased before the tabloids could have noticed.
It was pretty clear in the then following weeks that she had to bite her tongue to not reveal it. One time she posted in the middle of the night a (quickly deleted) video of her alone in bed (maybe he was filming, but she normally tells everyone when he is gone) babbling confusing shit for example. Here a couple more examples from january
Here she had a breakdown, about which she couldn't talk "yet"
This one is particulary interesting the OG tweet asked people what are things they dont take for granted anymore. And anyone loving her ever again was her response, later somebody said that this doesnt sound good and she replied something along the lines of "I nearly came out with this tonight, let's say I'm being gaslit" (obviously she deleted that one)
This one was a tad awkward, because many people said stuff like "but you have your husband", must have been awful.
Also not to forget that she even claims that the divorce came out of the blue, despite telling a few weeks before this that they discuss legal seperation (which to be fair, isnt quite the same as it leaves the door open for them to get back together, but still), but given that he put a Collaborative Lawyer on the case it seems very unlikely that they would file a divorce without both parties knowing that it's a divorce. And he was also papped with lighting equipment arriving at home somewhere between him moving out and filing for divorce: Maybe to shoot pictures to sell the house since both of them will need something smaller? idk, but if so, that's something you typically discuss when you are divorcing.
Bottom line of all this, it wasnt sudden, at least not in the way she originally portrayed it. Maybe it felt sudden to her that he told her that he no longer loves her, but she didnt mention that this stuff happened in september, everyone assumed he just dropped the bomb out of nowhere with a one week notice to move out, and I'm sure she was aware of what she is doing there.
The other aspect is her claims of him being abusive. You can't really claim that something comes out of nowhere, that you had "20 perfect years" and you can't show being obviously desperate to win him back (even admitted as much: "I'm still fighting against this") while simulatously claiming that in fact he was extremely horrible. She actually contradicted herself within minutes in that exact aspect a week ago (see the two screenshots down). She even said that SHE should have left much earlier which turns her whole rant ad absurdum, doesnt this mean that he actually did her a favour by leaving, huh?
I can definitely picture him being "suddenly" a ass during those few months of "trying to work it out", when you check out mentally and you told your spouse already who is still desperately hoping it's pretty natural to act toxic in order to get out, unfortunately. And I can definitely also picture him cheating on her, in fact I'm sure that he cheated: he was the past 3-4 years nearly the entire time away, with fading feelings and he is a good looking fella, it would be a miracle if he wasnt. And him filing the divorce papers this quickly is also suspicious (although I'm not sure if he really has somebody currently)
I can definitely see him being horrible too, but it's extremely hard to say, no one of us actually knows what went on between them. But he doesn't have any negative record before this, her story is inconstistent, and she instead has a reputation. And her accusations against him are actually things that can be seen as him actually doing things (I'm leaving the gaslighting accusations out, because she just didnt told us what exactly he did) for the kids' sake (which also matches with him not saying anything): Him shutting her off twitter is definitely for the best, it would just cause even more trouble and pain for the kids if their mother has a even easier way to slag off their dad, and him "lying" to the kids about the divorce too (they are kids, you really should be careful how to tell them things), and him going for a collaborative divorce as well. If he was really evil he would take this to court, with all her Social Media Post as evidence, and he likely would get sole custody. But he isnt. Okay, you could argue that it isnt in his interest to have full custody, and his silence might be just him trying to reduce the negative press and making him appear like a good dad. Very possible, but both options should be considered here.
It's definitely possible that he is just telling the truth and he really fell out of love (that's a lot more noticable in lockdown than when you are all the time away, and she is crazy enough for someone to just wanting to get out of it even if there is no comfy bed available yet). In fact they were already hints about two years ago that she may not be the person anymore he thought to have married
and the time he seem to have given her between confessing and walking away seems fair to me. I really fail to see how anyone can accuse him of foul play with any certaincy. He definitely deserves the benefit of doubt.
My point is, we only have one side of this story, of a party that has a questionable record which she has shown in this divorce too. She is very unlikely to be a innocent victim here. Even in the unlikely event that she was the perfect lovely wife irl what she has been doing since the announcement by trashing her kid's father in public and being very open about it to her kids, is far worse than anything he may have done. The only interesting aspect of this story is to find out if he is a victim, or if both are horrible people, who induced massive pain on their poor kids. The jury is out on that one to me, and ngl, his side of the story (even if that one would likely not be the full truth either) would be interesting, but I doubt that we will hear this.
I'm really struggling to see what endgame she is trying to achieve. If she wants to have him cancelled she and the kids will suffer from the lack of spousal/child support too (unless she starts dating a rich guy, but then again I can imagine many staying away from her seeing how she reacts to break ups - or maybe she thinks that this will ignite her own career), on top of the emotional pain by slagging off the kids' father. If she is trying to win him back (which she admitted to want at least until when the news of him filing for divorce broke) she is achieving the opposite: any guilt he might have had has certainly vanished by now. If you try to lure somebody back you either use the kids to guilt trip somebody (which she tried at the beginning) or you pretend that you are completely fine with everything which will cause jealously to the other party IF they still feel something (I do wonder if she is doing this now after he latest posts werent about him anymore and after she went out for the first time).
I feel like she knows that there isn't much to tell at this point, and she is just waiting for a "other woman" (if she exists) to appear in order to create a better narrative (although, to be honest, I reached a point where I wouldn't really blame him if he was cheating): she has already sold her IVF and Weinstein story to the tabloids in the past, wouldnt be surprised if she does the same here.
I actually dont think that she is intentionally lying (whatever the truth is, she is, otherwise she wouldnt contradict herself this much): in break ups spouses tend to have very different and confusing perspectives of how things have happened, usually exagerating the spouses flaws and being oblivious to their own, and it's usually not matching with what a third party would see. Which is the exact reason why (besides protecting the kids) break ups shouldnt be discussed in public unless very clear abuse has happened.
Well, whatever, I hope this cleared some stuff up. I'm not claiming to know anything about how their relationship really was, maybe she really was innocent and for once she isnt crazy because that's the way she is, but because her husband pushed her to it, possible. but as a third party seeing her twitter over the years and now seeing how she acts here I prefer to take her story with a grain of salt. I don't even want to be mean to the girl, she is certainly heartbroken no matter what the truth is, and she needs real friends that genuinely care about her and are reasonable, and tell her when she needs to stop (ironically it looks like only her husband was ever that kind of person), but it appears she doesnt have those kind of friends, which is sad. She had mentioned straight after the break up announcement that she is already through 4 therapists (deleted that, obviously), so it doesnt appear like she will change any time soon.
This one here was about two years ago: she started randomly attacking a twitter user with a good following (apparently because he blocked her or something) and then acted like she was attacked. by other users too, apparently, but it was so damn weird, nobody got what the hell she was going on about, and this went on for three whole days, ending with her threatening to commit suicide while she was home alone with the kids (that's a album with 8 images, I ran out of pictures for this post, lol)
This was about a year ago her reaction to somebody parking in the wrong parking spot
Before they got married he shut down his own fanwebsite because people were making negative comments about her outfits. He isnt very tech-savvy, so everyone figured that she was behind it. There were also strong hints about her acting extremely toxic on imdb boards and other places about his projects
https://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/12026293.html
She even showed signs of her craziness last summer against him. She had during lockdown many politically questionable conversations, like these ones:
which earned many reactions in the tone of "This is Ioan Gruffudd's wife, wtf?", and even some relatively well-known influencers questioned him about his wife's behavior (by tagging him, he didnt reply, he has been pretty much inactive for two years). Not too long after this she mentioned on her twitter that her husband wants to discuss with her whether she should delete twitter, which earned him quite a shitstorm, instead of defending him for having good intentions (her own mental help, preventing to get cancelled and thus running into existence issues, etc.) she accussed him of only caring about his career. This incident alone makes me question how she thought that it all came out of the blue tbh.
coincidentally or not, this also marks pretty much the point from which on he always looked miserable on all her IG posts, she even commented back on some of those a couple of weeks ago (her side probably thinks that it matches with him coming back from Australia, and it likely means that he met somebody there, but he actually was just two weeks there in August because production was suspended due to Covid in march)
And let's not forget her essentially inflicting emotional abuse on her 7 years old by showing off the newspaper article about the divorce.
The thing is also, not only she is kinda crazy, she is also very unreliable in her tellings, and it's also showing in this divorce. She started off with claiming that he leaves his kids too (not only in her initial statement but also later by saying that she isnt seeing him coming back to "us"). But turns out he applied for joint custody, spends time with them (they even were spotted by paps) and she even kinda complained lately about how the lawyers want to propose the custody plan.
Then there is the whole thing with him "suddenly" dumping her (which she contradicted herself quickly, by saying that it was 6 months of "yes/no/maybe"). Leaving aside the little story I mentioned above (and I'm sure there must have been other cracks in private too, even if she may have been oblivious to it), she in fact tweeted back in september that he told her that he no longer loves her!
Given that the divorce papers state New Years Day as the seperation date (which is still much earlier than what she claimed in her original statement) this means that he gave them 3 months to try to re-ignite any feelings (or well, that's maybe how long he thought he needs to sit out at least until it's perceived reasonable for him to go, idk). And her behavior during these months in public was actually not any different to anything else before, she was talking a lot about him in a lovely way. But she was also occasionally dropping hints
There is no doubt that the seperation date in the divorce papers are about correct. I do remember her having between christmas and new years eve a meltdown on Instagram about her relationship. She was posting a not-seen-before(I guess?)-video from their anniversary in september where they attempted to take a selfie. And he just kept adjusting his hair and corrected a wrong thing she said about how many years they've been married. She appeared irritated to both of these things which seemed a odd thing to be upset about. She captioned that video with a lot of confusing stuff (partly due to grammar, so probably drunk) and the only thing I really remember from this is her saying that in hindsight it was so obvious that he rather wanted to be anywhere else than besides her, especially since he also told her not too long after this video was taken that he no longer loves her (matches with the tweet further up). And people in the comments were confused as hell, some were calling them cute, wishing them well, others were asking if they broke up, and others were agreeing with her that he was rude to her in that video (he definitely wasnt!). She also added a Instagram story with a standstill of that video and yet again tons of confusing heartbreaking shit written there that I dont remember, I only remember her closing it up with "he says I dont have any friends". All of this was erased before the tabloids could have noticed.
It was pretty clear in the then following weeks that she had to bite her tongue to not reveal it. One time she posted in the middle of the night a (quickly deleted) video of her alone in bed (maybe he was filming, but she normally tells everyone when he is gone) babbling confusing shit for example. Here a couple more examples from january
Here she had a breakdown, about which she couldn't talk "yet"
This one is particulary interesting the OG tweet asked people what are things they dont take for granted anymore. And anyone loving her ever again was her response, later somebody said that this doesnt sound good and she replied something along the lines of "I nearly came out with this tonight, let's say I'm being gaslit" (obviously she deleted that one)
This one was a tad awkward, because many people said stuff like "but you have your husband", must have been awful.
Also not to forget that she even claims that the divorce came out of the blue, despite telling a few weeks before this that they discuss legal seperation (which to be fair, isnt quite the same as it leaves the door open for them to get back together, but still), but given that he put a Collaborative Lawyer on the case it seems very unlikely that they would file a divorce without both parties knowing that it's a divorce. And he was also papped with lighting equipment arriving at home somewhere between him moving out and filing for divorce: Maybe to shoot pictures to sell the house since both of them will need something smaller? idk, but if so, that's something you typically discuss when you are divorcing.
Bottom line of all this, it wasnt sudden, at least not in the way she originally portrayed it. Maybe it felt sudden to her that he told her that he no longer loves her, but she didnt mention that this stuff happened in september, everyone assumed he just dropped the bomb out of nowhere with a one week notice to move out, and I'm sure she was aware of what she is doing there.
The other aspect is her claims of him being abusive. You can't really claim that something comes out of nowhere, that you had "20 perfect years" and you can't show being obviously desperate to win him back (even admitted as much: "I'm still fighting against this") while simulatously claiming that in fact he was extremely horrible. She actually contradicted herself within minutes in that exact aspect a week ago (see the two screenshots down). She even said that SHE should have left much earlier which turns her whole rant ad absurdum, doesnt this mean that he actually did her a favour by leaving, huh?
I can definitely picture him being "suddenly" a ass during those few months of "trying to work it out", when you check out mentally and you told your spouse already who is still desperately hoping it's pretty natural to act toxic in order to get out, unfortunately. And I can definitely also picture him cheating on her, in fact I'm sure that he cheated: he was the past 3-4 years nearly the entire time away, with fading feelings and he is a good looking fella, it would be a miracle if he wasnt. And him filing the divorce papers this quickly is also suspicious (although I'm not sure if he really has somebody currently)
I can definitely see him being horrible too, but it's extremely hard to say, no one of us actually knows what went on between them. But he doesn't have any negative record before this, her story is inconstistent, and she instead has a reputation. And her accusations against him are actually things that can be seen as him actually doing things (I'm leaving the gaslighting accusations out, because she just didnt told us what exactly he did) for the kids' sake (which also matches with him not saying anything): Him shutting her off twitter is definitely for the best, it would just cause even more trouble and pain for the kids if their mother has a even easier way to slag off their dad, and him "lying" to the kids about the divorce too (they are kids, you really should be careful how to tell them things), and him going for a collaborative divorce as well. If he was really evil he would take this to court, with all her Social Media Post as evidence, and he likely would get sole custody. But he isnt. Okay, you could argue that it isnt in his interest to have full custody, and his silence might be just him trying to reduce the negative press and making him appear like a good dad. Very possible, but both options should be considered here.
It's definitely possible that he is just telling the truth and he really fell out of love (that's a lot more noticable in lockdown than when you are all the time away, and she is crazy enough for someone to just wanting to get out of it even if there is no comfy bed available yet). In fact they were already hints about two years ago that she may not be the person anymore he thought to have married
and the time he seem to have given her between confessing and walking away seems fair to me. I really fail to see how anyone can accuse him of foul play with any certaincy. He definitely deserves the benefit of doubt.
My point is, we only have one side of this story, of a party that has a questionable record which she has shown in this divorce too. She is very unlikely to be a innocent victim here. Even in the unlikely event that she was the perfect lovely wife irl what she has been doing since the announcement by trashing her kid's father in public and being very open about it to her kids, is far worse than anything he may have done. The only interesting aspect of this story is to find out if he is a victim, or if both are horrible people, who induced massive pain on their poor kids. The jury is out on that one to me, and ngl, his side of the story (even if that one would likely not be the full truth either) would be interesting, but I doubt that we will hear this.
I'm really struggling to see what endgame she is trying to achieve. If she wants to have him cancelled she and the kids will suffer from the lack of spousal/child support too (unless she starts dating a rich guy, but then again I can imagine many staying away from her seeing how she reacts to break ups - or maybe she thinks that this will ignite her own career), on top of the emotional pain by slagging off the kids' father. If she is trying to win him back (which she admitted to want at least until when the news of him filing for divorce broke) she is achieving the opposite: any guilt he might have had has certainly vanished by now. If you try to lure somebody back you either use the kids to guilt trip somebody (which she tried at the beginning) or you pretend that you are completely fine with everything which will cause jealously to the other party IF they still feel something (I do wonder if she is doing this now after he latest posts werent about him anymore and after she went out for the first time).
I feel like she knows that there isn't much to tell at this point, and she is just waiting for a "other woman" (if she exists) to appear in order to create a better narrative (although, to be honest, I reached a point where I wouldn't really blame him if he was cheating): she has already sold her IVF and Weinstein story to the tabloids in the past, wouldnt be surprised if she does the same here.
I actually dont think that she is intentionally lying (whatever the truth is, she is, otherwise she wouldnt contradict herself this much): in break ups spouses tend to have very different and confusing perspectives of how things have happened, usually exagerating the spouses flaws and being oblivious to their own, and it's usually not matching with what a third party would see. Which is the exact reason why (besides protecting the kids) break ups shouldnt be discussed in public unless very clear abuse has happened.
Well, whatever, I hope this cleared some stuff up. I'm not claiming to know anything about how their relationship really was, maybe she really was innocent and for once she isnt crazy because that's the way she is, but because her husband pushed her to it, possible. but as a third party seeing her twitter over the years and now seeing how she acts here I prefer to take her story with a grain of salt. I don't even want to be mean to the girl, she is certainly heartbroken no matter what the truth is, and she needs real friends that genuinely care about her and are reasonable, and tell her when she needs to stop (ironically it looks like only her husband was ever that kind of person), but it appears she doesnt have those kind of friends, which is sad. She had mentioned straight after the break up announcement that she is already through 4 therapists (deleted that, obviously), so it doesnt appear like she will change any time soon.
detective work, welp! In which case, good luck to Ioann and his newfound freedom 
