Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #38 Whatever your trauma happens to be, don’t forget it’s all about ME

[welp]

Suggestion by @plinky

Please remember no thread titles until the tail end of the thread to make it fair for all. Please add ‘thread title’ or ‘thread title nomination’.

Might be an idea to pop upsetting or potentially triggering subjects behind a spoiler.

The pink button is a wiki full of info about this subject.

 

[GoLibrarianPoo]

Well done @plinky and thank duck for @welp I was just about to attempt a new thread and would surely have made a total mess of doing it!

 

[PinkyWinky]

Thanks Welp and Plinky that’s a fab title

we still need an eye-roll emoji and honestly I’d have quite good use for a face slapping one over the last few pages.

I don’t know who EM 2.00 is and I’m not at all sure what the fuss about EM 1.00 is either. It’s like a tattle gossip thread within a Tattle gossip thread wrapped in an enigma.

 

[BigBonedBuzzard]

One thing I always wanted to comment about Alice, is how intense everything is with her.

She doesn't seem to have normal acquaintances or just friends.
She has best friends, like her core FMs or Celia, Tone is her best brother (occasional lover), Gloria is also her bestie, and she gushed so much over the electrician that she would have introduced him to her parents if they weren't estranged. Rachel is the best thing ever OMG and Rach's parents are like parents to Alice although she was in her 30s when her mum died and almost 40 when her dad went to get cigarettes and never returned.
Then there's the haters. Every mild criticism/comment is betrayal or brings her enormous pain (and always harms the girls!). Ioan's mum is evil incarnated. He himself went from best husband and father and lover (not to be confused with her brother here) to worst human being that ever human'd.

That's why I can't take her seriously. Even if she doesn't lie, her descriptions are like that. How many worst things ever have there been in the past month? And look at all her "Ioan said" stories. He doesn't like ANYONE. He said he could NEVER do what her dad did! He SWORE ON THE LIVES OF THEIR CHILDREN he'll never ever ever again date another person. tit like that.

Does this phenomena have a name in psychology?

 

[Nixlondon]

One thing I always wanted to comment about Alice, is how intense everything is with her.

She doesn't seem to have normal acquaintances or just friends.
She has best friends, like her core FMs or Celia, Tone is her best brother (occasional lover), Gloria is also her bestie, and she gushed so much over the electrician that she would have introduced him to her parents if they weren't estranged. Rachel is the best thing ever OMG and Rach's parents are like parents to Alice although she was in her 30s when her mum died and almost 40 when her dad went to get cigarettes and never returned.
Then there's the haters. Every mild criticism/comment is betrayal or brings her enormous pain (and always harms the girls!). Ioan's mum is evil incarnated. He himself went from best husband and father and lover (not to be confused with her brother here) to worst human being that ever human'd.

That's why I can't take her seriously. Even if she doesn't lie, her descriptions are like that. How many worst things ever have there been in the past month? And look at all her "Ioan said" stories. He doesn't like ANYONE. He said he could NEVER do what her dad did! He SWORE ON THE LIVES OF THEIR CHILDREN he'll never ever ever again date another person. tit like that.

Does this phenomena have a name in psychology?

Histrionic personality disorder. I believe she is this, with some narcissistic qualities, but I don't believe she is a malignant narcissist (having done due diligence)

 

[AD2018]

Histrionic personality disorder. I believe she is this, with some narcissistic qualities, but I don't believe she is a malignant narcissist (having done due diligence)

I’ve just very quickly read a little on HPD and wow! The description is uncanny - she definitely has this

edit - disclaimer: not qualified to properly diagnose HPD

 

[Caitlyn130]

Thanks Welp and Plinky that’s a fab title

we still need an eye-roll emoji and honestly I’d have quite good use for a face slapping one over the last few pages.

I don’t know who EM 2.00 is and I’m not at all sure what the fuss about EM 1.00 is either. It’s like a tattle gossip thread within a Tattle gossip thread wrapped in an enigma.

It's like Twelfth Night with disguises everywhere, but nobody is falling in love. If Shakespeare had lived in the days of social media, perhaps it would have been:
Be not afraid of Twitter. Some are born twats, some achieve retweets, and others have tweets thrust upon them.

 

[PinkyWinky]

It's like Twelfth Night with disguises everywhere, but nobody is falling in love. If Shakespeare had lived in the days of social media, perhaps it would have been:
Be not afraid of Twitter. Some are born twats, some achieve retweets, and others have tweets thrust upon them.

Now I’m thinking this is some kind of EM clue Da Vinci code that I’m supposed to crack.

 

[Caitlyn130]

Now I’m thinking this is some kind of EM clue Da Vinci code that I’m supposed to crack.

Haha, no it's just a quote from Twelfth Night. An exact quote

 

[raiseseyebrow]

Just to throw my two penn’orth into a few things from the previous thread -
Re: the plagiarism of the poem. When I was lecturing it wasn’t unheard of for international students to take essays in their native language and translate them in to English as our plagiarism software couldn’t pick that up. There’s a chance that “poem” is French in origin and she’s just translated it.
It’s still tit tho.

Re: Ioan and a potential second family. I can’t see it happening. He’s nearly 50 and there a number of risks associated with advanced paternal age. If BW wants to make it in HW there’s no way she’s going to want to get pregnant before she’s established (and that’s even if she wants kids) and has built up a body of work. IG could very easily be edging towards 60 at that point.

 

[Knitwit]

It's never occurred to me that Ioan doesn't love his children. I am sure he does. He is also used to being away from them for long periods of time, just as they are used to him being away. I think he stayed in a marriage he wanted to leave because of the children. He managed to extricate himself and what he should have done is come back, help them adjust by getting them into a routine, reassure his girls that he loved them and that they were his priority particularly as Ella was already showing signs of estrangement before he left. The girls had a few short months to get used to their parents being separated, their dad leaves and their mum loses it. Now they have to adjust to a whole new set of circumstances.
The fact that Bianca and he are living together makes me think it is a relationship of longer standing and being in love and naive he thinks his children will find her as wonderful as he does.
I get the whole 'seize the day' angle but it could have been done on the quiet while prioritizing the girls.

 

[Mad Betty]

Histrionic personality disorder. I believe she is this, with some narcissistic qualities, but I don't believe she is a malignant narcissist (having done due diligence)

And I believe she's a Borderline Narc to my bones. My sister had that diagnosis and Alice's behaviors are nearly identical. It's why I really see what she does clearly at times. It's also why there are moments I still have empathy for her, though I'm finding less and less of them.

 

[PinkyWinky]

I’ve just very quickly read a little on HPD and wow! The description is uncanny - she definitely has this

edit - disclaimer: not qualified to properly diagnose HPD

Nobody can diagnose anyone based on social media behaviour but we have fun recognising traits and pointing them out based on the stuff we can observe. She sure ticks a lot of the HPD boxes.

 

[AnneinHever]

One thing I always wanted to comment about Alice, is how intense everything is with her.

She doesn't seem to have normal acquaintances or just friends.
She has best friends, like her core FMs or Celia, Tone is her best brother (occasional lover), Gloria is also her bestie, and she gushed so much over the electrician that she would have introduced him to her parents if they weren't estranged. Rachel is the best thing ever OMG and Rach's parents are like parents to Alice although she was in her 30s when her mum died and almost 40 when her dad went to get cigarettes and never returned.
Then there's the haters. Every mild criticism/comment is betrayal or brings her enormous pain (and always harms the girls!). Ioan's mum is evil incarnated. He himself went from best husband and father and lover (not to be confused with her brother here) to worst human being that ever human'd.

That's why I can't take her seriously. Even if she doesn't lie, her descriptions are like that. How many worst things ever have there been in the past month? And look at all her "Ioan said" stories. He doesn't like ANYONE. He said he could NEVER do what her dad did! He SWORE ON THE LIVES OF THEIR CHILDREN he'll never ever ever again date another person. tit like that.

Does this phenomena have a name in psychology?

Yes all her reactions -positive or negative- are extreme. She loves or hates people. Situations are blown out of proportion. And this isn’t new. Look at the car park incident or that Twitter fight with that horse guy. She even threatened to kill herself. Ella had to change schools because someone said something bad about Alice. And at the same time everything is about her. And everyone is out to get her.

 

[PinkyWinky]

And I believe she's a Borderline Narc to my bones.

Lot’s of these personality traits can overlap, they’re not mutually exclusive. You can be narc and exhibit as histrionic.

 

[SynthGirl]

It's never occurred to me that Ioan doesn't love his children. I am sure he does. He is also used to being away from them for long periods of time, just as they are used to him being away. I think he stayed in a marriage he wanted to leave because of the children. He managed to extricate himself and what he should have done is come back, help them adjust by getting them into a routine, reassure his girls that he loved them and that they were his priority particularly as Ella was already showing signs of estrangement before he left. The girls had a few short months to get used to their parents being separated, their dad leaves and their mum loses it. Now they have to adjust to a whole new set of circumstances.
The fact that Bianca and he are living together makes me think it is a relationship of longer standing and being in love and naive he thinks his children will find her as wonderful as he does.
I get the whole 'seize the day' angle but it could have been done on the quiet while prioritizing the girls.

Bingo. What a tough year for the little girls.

 

[Nixlondon]

And I believe she's a Borderline Narc to my bones. My sister had that diagnosis and Alice's behaviors are nearly identical.

The reason I don't is that borderline narcs cannot hold onto long term relationships and very rarely ever manage to keep hold of jobs. Yes Alice has caused tit, but she still managed, for 15+ years to function relatively well with Ioan at her side. Borderline narcs generally can't and it is one of the hallmarks of their personality type. If she and Ioan were divorcing after 5 years, I would say yes, but they have managed 20 years, which is, from what the research shows, incredibly difficult for a narc or a borderline. FYI, I am not a psychologist, my opinion only on what I have researched (and I have really dug into it as much as I can to catch up, but note I am new to this)

 

[PinkyWinky]

I like to believe that Ioan is preparing a lovely little home for him and the girls, where they can can feel secure and loved. A little refuge of sanity and comfort away from the cuckoos nest.

 

[Nixlondon]

Lot’s of these personality traits can overlap, they’re not mutually exclusive. You can be narc and exhibit as histrionic.

Ok this makes sense. But IMHO she is not a malignant narc - they are a whole other ballgame

 

[GoLibrarianPoo]

One thing I always wanted to comment about Alice, is how intense everything is with her.

She doesn't seem to have normal acquaintances or just friends.
She has best friends, like her core FMs or Celia, Tone is her best brother (occasional lover), Gloria is also her bestie, and she gushed so much over the electrician that she would have introduced him to her parents if they weren't estranged. Rachel is the best thing ever OMG and Rach's parents are like parents to Alice although she was in her 30s when her mum died and almost 40 when her dad went to get cigarettes and never returned.
Then there's the haters. Every mild criticism/comment is betrayal or brings her enormous pain (and always harms the girls!). Ioan's mum is evil incarnated. He himself went from best husband and father and lover (not to be confused with her brother here) to worst human being that ever human'd.

That's why I can't take her seriously. Even if she doesn't lie, her descriptions are like that. How many worst things ever have there been in the past month? And look at all her "Ioan said" stories. He doesn't like ANYONE. He said he could NEVER do what her dad did! He SWORE ON THE LIVES OF THEIR CHILDREN he'll never ever ever again date another person. tit like that.

Does this phenomena have a name in psychology?

I'm not sure what the behavioural term for it is but it's really a stand out point about Alice that she must hyperbolise everything

It's like Twelfth Night with disguises everywhere, but nobody is falling in love. If Shakespeare had lived in the days of social media, perhaps it would have been:
Be not afraid of Twitter. Some are born twats, some achieve retweets, and others have tweets thrust upon them.

My favourite Shakespearian play!

You are brilliantly funny!