Inheritance Money - mother recently inherited a substantial amount of money

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The same thing happened to me twice. First as a result of my mum dying and then with my gran. Both times my dad inherited a lot of money and I didn't question it for a minute. I was more concerned with him putting it into various savings accounts with the better rates of interest. When my mum died I was poorer than a church mouse and could have really benefited from a handout but it wasn't mine to give
 
Hmmmmm if it were my mum I know she would make sure we are ok, and if it were me I’d make sure my children were ok , I’d help out especially if they were struggling
 
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It's her money so she can do what she wants with it. However if it was my kids I'd help them out big time. I'd be cheeky and ask her, the worst she can say is no.
 
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Your Mum could live well into her 90s and with no pension shes going find life tough which this money may help her with. Its not your money, be happy for her and not jealous because you will just turn yourself inside out and it will poison your relationship with her. She doesn't owe you anything. Instead look at other ways to boost your income.
 
👋 OP here! As a previous poster said, I was coming across huffy and I agree. I was really pissed off I’m honest. Yes, my mum did need the money for retirement and it was hers to do with what she wanted, but she has since figured out that she can live quite comfortably on her state pension and has since discovered (not sure how she didn’t know before) that she has a work pension. So when her and her husband retire, with his pensions and hers they’re almost as well off as they are now and don’t have a mortgage to pay off.

I had the most upfront, honest conversation with her recently regarding money and she ended up gifting me a small amount, for which I’m extremely grateful. I don’t feel huffy or pissed off with her anymore and we have a better relationship now 🙂
 
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👋 OP here! As a previous poster said, I was coming across huffy and I agree. I was really pissed off I’m honest. Yes, my mum did need the money for retirement and it was hers to do with what she wanted, but she has since figured out that she can live quite comfortably on her state pension and has since discovered (not sure how she didn’t know before) that she has a work pension. So when her and her husband retire, with his pensions and hers they’re almost as well off as they are now and don’t have a mortgage to pay off.

I had the most upfront, honest conversation with her recently regarding money and she ended up gifting me a small amount, for which I’m extremely grateful. I don’t feel huffy or pissed off with her anymore and we have a better relationship now 🙂
Lol and all it took for a better relationship and not to be huffy or pissed of was for her to give you money. Not sure the follow up paints you in the best light really. Should have left us hanging.
 
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Lol and all it took for a better relationship and not to be huffy or pissed of was for her to give you money. Not sure the follow up paints you in the best light really. Should have left us hanging.
There was a lot more to our conversations than what I’m willing to put on a forum. So whether it paints me in a good light or not I couldn’t care less.
 
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👋 OP here! As a previous poster said, I was coming across huffy and I agree. I was really pissed off I’m honest. Yes, my mum did need the money for retirement and it was hers to do with what she wanted, but she has since figured out that she can live quite comfortably on her state pension and has since discovered (not sure how she didn’t know before) that she has a work pension. So when her and her husband retire, with his pensions and hers they’re almost as well off as they are now and don’t have a mortgage to pay off.

I had the most upfront, honest conversation with her recently regarding money and she ended up gifting me a small amount, for which I’m extremely grateful. I don’t feel huffy or pissed off with her anymore and we have a better relationship now 🙂
You sound horrible and very immature. You've stopped huffing with her now she's handed over some money. I hope she sees through you and your grabby behaviour and spends the money before you go begging for money again when her will is read out.
 
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You sound horrible and very immature. You've stopped huffing with her now she's handed over some money. I hope she sees through you and your grabby behaviour and spends the money before you go begging for money again when her will is read out.
As I said above, there was a lot more to our conversations than I’m willing to post online.
Our relationship problems go a lot deeper than money and we’ve started to sort them out. She’s also entered counselling for her own issues and I’m really proud of her.
If I hadn’t spoken to her about the money, amongst other things, then it’s very unlikely we would have have been able to start addressing important aspects of our relationship.
 
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As I said above, there was a lot more to our conversations than I’m willing to post online.
Our relationship problems go a lot deeper than money and we’ve started to sort them out. She’s also entered counselling for her own issues and I’m really proud of her.
If I hadn’t spoken to her about the money, amongst other things, then it’s very unlikely we would have have been able to start addressing important aspects of our relationship.
I hope your doing ok them conversations will always begin about something in particular but are often through other issues too and once one aspect is spoken about the others don’t seem to hold such a tight grip anymore. Well done for speaking because when relationships are tricky that isn’t easy. Take care 😁
 
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My father died a few years ago, I've just been awarded his life insurance, I am technically his only child but I have 5 siblings through my mum and I have split the money between all of us. I don't understand why anyone wouldn't?!
My estranged dad died and I wasn’t told about it. When I found out via social media, I reached out to his wife to offer my condolences and to speak to her and I was ignored. Obviously my dad and I had a strange relationship but I do feel like she thought I was trying to claim his estate and that’s why she ignored me 🤷‍♀️
 
After my father died by brother had an argument with the solicitor. He claimed by being the eldest he should have everything despite the solicitor telling him that wasn't to be the case. He even tried going to the Police saying he was being cheated out of money. That was 23 years ago and he still doesn't speak to me or my younger brother. We don't miss him.
 
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After my father died by brother had an argument with the solicitor. He claimed by being the eldest he should have everything despite the solicitor telling him that wasn't to be the case. He even tried going to the Police saying he was being cheated out of money. That was 23 years ago and he still doesn't speak to me or my younger brother. We don't miss him.
Wow! He expected you two to be left with nothing?
 
I totally agree with you. The exact same thing has happened to me. Mother got huge inheritance, and gets huge pension, and pays no rent or bills as her partner pays everything. Some days I can't even afford to buy food, or some socks when I'm freezing. She wont give me a cent. Says she needs it for herself. And goes shopping every day. I can't even imagine refusing to help my kids like that. Once I won' $5000 and I straight away gave my grown kids $1000 each to help them.
 
My elderly Gran said at Xmas that she wants to leave some money to myself and my sister when she's gone but I told her to spend the money on herself while she's still here to enjoy it.
 
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I’ve never been in a situation regarding inheritance so this isn’t quite the same but my mother has never given me money and never would, so in this situation I wouldn’t even ask or expect. I just don’t have the sort of mother that would see helping me out as a worthy thing to do. My mum struggles for money due to not being good with money and also gambling problems in the past. I have helped her out financially to the tune of thousands, while working my first job out of uni, as well as practical help for the gambling, and she’s never thanked me. One time I asked her to come help me with my sick baby, and she charged me fuel money. When she retired from her career (she still works but in another field) she took a lump sum from her pension and did a big speech to me about how she had all this money now and wanted to do something nice for me and therefore was going to buy me a tumble dryer for my house I’d just bought. That would be lovely I said. A year later no tumble dryer had appeared, I never mentioned it, a relative on my husbands side gave us their old one for free- my mum got very affronted and said how could I let someone else give me one when she said she was going to 😂
Her brother is very well off (millions) and has on a couple of occasions given her a sum of money meant for me (for my wedding etc) and she has kept the majority of it for herself. On the wedding occasion I did call her out on it and she said she was entitled to the money because she was going to be out of pocket attending the wedding as she had to buy an outfit.
my mother in law on the other hand would share anything she had with us. Again, we never ask, but she came into a sum of money a while ago (about 50k) and used it for some home improvements etc and very kindly gifted all her 4 kids a couple of grand each. We were very grateful but if she hadn’t given us any I wouldn’t have minded. But I agree with the OP it’s entirely different if you are struggling through no fault of your own and your parent doesn’t help you. Yeah it’s not something you’re entitled to but I just don’t get parents who don’t put their kids first. Not saying they should at their own expense, but if I was in that position then helping out my kids would be the first thing I did especially if I had enough for the future and then a treat. I couldn’t enjoy the money knowing my kids were struggling. But there are some parents who no longer feel any responsibility to their kids after they turn 18. I guess that’s ok it’s just not my view. My kids are only little and yes I’d like to teach them to stand on their own two feet eventually but ill always be their mum and want to help them as much as I can in any way I can. Always my babies.
 
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