Inheritance Money - mother recently inherited a substantial amount of money

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I'd feel aggrieved, probably moan to my husband and leave it at that.
Everyone is different. Just because you would share the money doesn't mean she should have to. She might be thinking of her future.
You might be in a tight spot now, but you're young and have time to sort it out. She is (I'm assuming) nearer retirement age. This money will be cushioner for her and means she might actually be able to retire at a reasonable age.

The house will be yours, any policies will be yours, you'll have your own windfall one day (I know it's a bit crass to speak about your mother dying, I apologise). Maybe just let your mum be happy with her windfall even if it does niggle a bit.

I've been there. I do not get on with my mother. She even took a payout that was for me. She sold our childhood home to and went into a council house we didn't see a penny. My grandad died, we didn't see the will and got a few hundred pounds. I expect there was a lot more for us and a payout for my daughter but that never came.

It annoyed me at the time, but you know what, I barely think of it now. I have a bit of a relationship with her now for my daughters sake but if I held onto that restment I wouldn't be able to do that.
It's only money. There is always more. I've been well off, I've been so skint I've taped my shoes. Been happy and sad in both situations.
Is your relationship, and your child's relationship with your mother worth damaging by bringing it up for a few grand?
 
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My parents are forever helping my brother out and do you know what....it makes no bloody difference, he still goes out and spends loads of money and ends up in the same position every month! Why should people bail others out? There’s obviously a reason you are struggling but we don’t know the reason....
Credit card debt
Arrears
Just not enough money
I think it's unfair to blame an individual for money struggles - you don't know what has gone on in their life. Their financial problems may be due to losing a job through no fault of their own, being unable to work due to illness, unexpected bills etc

The poster explained that she has never asked her Mum for any money previously so this wouldn't be a case of her Mum bailing her out, she simply feels disappointed that her Mum is in a position to help her and has chosen not to.

As for everyone saying her Mum is under no obligation to share the money - she is not but I don't understand (personally) why a mother wouldn't want to help their child and grandchildren.
 
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My dad received an inheritance a few years ago and gave myself and my bro an amount that was around 5% of it, so a really lovely gesture as it was HIS and I didn’t really expect a penny or ask for it. But in his position then yes I would definitely want to be able to either help my children out if struggling, or just as a gift to enjoy if financially stable.
I certainly wouldn’t have given it a thought if he hadn’t given me anything though.
 
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You say Your mum has a husband, maybe he will inherit her money/house if she goes first. Its a very awkward situation if people remarry.
 
In my ,admittedly limited , experience, nothing causes a close family member to act out of character more than inheritance. And nothing causes uglier and longer lasting rows and resentment.

Contesting someone on it is rarely worth it. I’ve learnt that just because you assume someone will behave a certain way, you aren’t always right, and you don’t always fully understand their perspective. It’s fair enough to assume an inheritance from your parents or spouse. Anything else is a bonus. But still within your rights to do what you want with it, whatever your financial situation. For some people being thought of in a will isn’t about the money but the fact that person wanted them to have something.
 
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I think it's unfair to blame an individual for money struggles - you don't know what has gone on in their life. Their financial problems may be due to losing a job through no fault of their own, being unable to work due to illness, unexpected bills etc

The poster explained that she has never asked her Mum for any money previously so this wouldn't be a case of her Mum bailing her out, she simply feels disappointed that her Mum is in a position to help her and has chosen not to.

As for everyone saying her Mum is under no obligation to share the money - she is not but I don't understand (personally) why a mother wouldn't want to help their child and grandchildren.
He’s my brother...I know exactly what’s happened and it’s his fault 🙈
 
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Money reveals people’s true colours. My in-laws came into a large amount of money a couple of years ago, the whole family have fallen out and all hate each other over it 😂 OP I think if you’re struggling, you should ask your mum out right if she can help you out temporarily. You know she has the money, maybe she just hasn’t thought you needed the help so much. If she says no then at least you’ll know where you stand.
 
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I think it's so hard because everyone has different views on money ect.
My Mum and Step Dad live very comfortably. Money that my Step Dad worked hard for in the past.
My husband and I aren't in the best situation financially, a big reason is I am paying off the loan for my Dad's funeral, along with other reasons. We both work and have children.

I don't expect my Mums help, and I also don't think I would accept it if offered. If I ask to borrow a bit of money, they will always say yes as long as I give it back on the next pay day. That is just how they work.
My Sister, in her mid 20s, works full time on a good wage, still lives with them and borrows money from them at any given chance.
She is different to me and expects them to help her and will gladly voice her opinions if they say no.

My mother in law, has said many times that she doesn't agree with my Mum not helping me financially as she would help any of her kids if she had the money to, like my Mum and Step Dad does. As this is what her own Mother was like.

So everyone has different views on money. I personally wouldn't expect help as I am an adult with my own children and it is my situation to sort out. As hard as it is
 
My MiL inherited a few years ago and has a naff pension. She bought a buy to let as an income. She's also buying my husband's brother a houseboat because YOLO 🤔
 
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The houseboat is very random 😂
We are very financially independent (not a brag) so we find it quite amusing. Other family members not so much. I am basically that Yoda meme as it unfolds.

It's also worth mentioning that no matter the relationship with the person - money always comes with strings attached and there is no solution that pleases everyone.
 
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Your mum should want to help you, as if you have struggled continuously that shows that you need a boost to get out of the situation you’re in once and for all. I work with people who are in a cycle because they let things slip just the once and every month they have overdraft charges due to having an over draft and interest on different cards meaning the bit they would be able to put away each month goes on their interest or over draft charges. It’s a vicious cycle and if your troubles could be helped with a couple of thousand just to get back on top of yourself, then she should do that for you. Money worries are not a joke. This may be an unpopular opinion but I think family is everything and I will always do what I can. I couldn’t bear to have money and not treat my family, even if it was a thousand pound each, just something - otherwise I couldn’t enjoy the money myself.
I think you should sit your mum down, explain the situation, and also that you respect her wishes if she doesn’t want to part with any money, but also explain the difference it would make to you and your family to release the financial burden
 
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Sorry but your wrong.. its her inheritance and she can do what she likes with it. I think your coming across as incredibly entitled!
 
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Sorry but your wrong.. its her inheritance and she can do what she likes with it. I think your coming across as incredibly entitled!
don’t hold back, we’re on page 3 of a pretty tame conversation, go for the jugular and spice things up!!! 😐

money and families. Oil and water.
We’ve had some real lifetime movie drama in the past with inheritance and jealousy and I’ve had a family member lose a child over money 😐

I borrow nothing, I lend nothing, I ask for nothing. I accept nothing 😐
 
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don’t hold back, we’re on page 3 of a pretty tame conversation, go for the jugular and spice things up!!! 😐

money and families. Oil and water.
We’ve had some real lifetime movie drama in the past with inheritance and jealousy and I’ve had a family member lose a child over money 😐

I borrow nothing, I lend nothing, I ask for nothing. I accept nothing 😐
Sorry.... didnt mean for it to come across so harsh
 
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My mother came into a large inheritance back in 2013, I wasn’t expecting anything. We grew up on the breadline, and there were months were my mum didn’t have a pot to p**s in, but she tried her hardest. So when she got this money, and then decided to buy my sister and me a house I was shocked. My sister and I had been living in a very bad and dangerous block of flats at the time, but it’s was what we could afford for our independence. I’m forever grateful for getting me out of that area, I have felt them most safe I have ever been. She could have kept all the money for retirement, but she was able to buy 2 houses and keep a large amount for a comfortable retirement and to see her girls happy and safe was better that designer clothes and a fancy car. So no I don’t think you are wrong to feel that way you do if she is spending her money on crap that she doesn’t even need, if she was spending it to live it would be different x
 
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I can only speak from my experience, I grew up poor, we never had new clothes, constantly wore hand me downs. Bought all our food from frozen food stores. When I was a teenager my Dad got a better job after working 2 jobs for most of my childhood and we could finally afford things. I know how much my parents struggled now, but at the time they never let us see it.

I fell pregnant unexpectedly at a younger age and we also struggled really badly with finances, we are in a much better position now over the years as we got out of uni, got jobs, bought a house but I know how hard it was for us and the toll it took on us.

For that reason Id never see my kids struggle with normal every day life if I could help at all, so no OP if you are struggling financially I can’t see why your parent would be buying frivolous things and rubbing your nose in it. I think that’s really insensitive if I’m honest.

Probably an unpopular opinion.
 
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Hi 👋

I don’t want to sound spoilt/jealous when I discuss this, I just wonder if anyone else agrees with my point of view.

My mother recently inherited a substantial amount of money. She has, and rightly so, used some of the money to pay off her mortgage, unpaid bills/credit cards etc.

she’s also spent some of this money on things she wanted to indulge in; expensive Apple products/staycation and other small things. Can’t blame her, I’d do the same.

What I have a slight issue with is that she hasn’t offered any of the money to me, my husband and our kids. Whilst I understand that it’s hers to do with as she pleases, she’s also very aware of money problems we have faced continuously over the years and that even a small amount would go a long way to helping our situation.

she doesn’t have a pension so I understand the need to keep a lot of the money in a pot for that chapter of her life. she has a very well paid job, as does her husband, so they don’t need this money, but all she’s done so far is spend the money and flaunt it in front of me, knowing that I can’t and am unlikely to be able to buy the same things she can.

am I wrong to feel a bit pissed off? I’ve tried to broach the subject of money with her but she gets very defensive and simply won’t discuss it. I realise the money is hers but I feel like she’s being selfish?

I’m waiting to see if she gifts us some money for Christmas as a surprise, but so far nothing points to that.
Did you ever get gifted some money? I really hope so.
 
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My mother came into a large inheritance back in 2013, I wasn’t expecting anything. We grew up on the breadline, and there were months were my mum didn’t have a pot to p**s in, but she tried her hardest. So when she got this money, and then decided to buy my sister and me a house I was shocked. My sister and I had been living in a very bad and dangerous block of flats at the time, but it’s was what we could afford for our independence. I’m forever grateful for getting me out of that area, I have felt them most safe I have ever been. She could have kept all the money for retirement, but she was able to buy 2 houses and keep a large amount for a comfortable retirement and to see her girls happy and safe was better that designer clothes and a fancy car. So no I don’t think you are wrong to feel that way you do if she is spending her money on crap that she doesn’t even need, if she was spending it to live it would be different x
That was really generous of your mum and definitely a great use of that money to get you into a safer environment.

However, with this OP her post comes across very entitled and huffy IMO. Her mum has no pension, near retirement age etc. So why should she give her money to her daughter? When her daughter will likely inherit one day anyway.

Instead of feeling hard done by perhaps a mature and direct approach to her mum would have been better? Why not ask for some money and offer to pay it back over long term? This would give her mum an “income” in her retirement?