My mother and sisters in law is a horrible people. I’m always in the wrong even when my other half tells them they are wrong or have treated me badly. How do you all deal with horrible in laws
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Cut them off. I did. They’ve never met my baby and they never will 
their loss - not mine.
Don’t put up with tit or getting treat like tit purely because they are your in law’s or because they are family. Being related, whether it’s by blood or marriage, does not mean it’s acceptable to treat someone like crap and get away with it. You wouldn’t accept it from a stranger so don’t accept it from them.
their loss - not mine.Don’t put up with tit or getting treat like tit purely because they are your in law’s or because they are family. Being related, whether it’s by blood or marriage, does not mean it’s acceptable to treat someone like crap and get away with it. You wouldn’t accept it from a stranger so don’t accept it from them.
If they are horrible cut them out completely. If you’re partner needs to see them say that is completely up to him but you don’t want to hear anything about them or get involved.
My mum had had issues with my dads brother and wife. Can’t even remember what the argument was but they now send my Dad Xmas cards and don’t put my mums name on even though they’ve been together 30+ years. It’s pathetic.
My mum had had issues with my dads brother and wife. Can’t even remember what the argument was but they now send my Dad Xmas cards and don’t put my mums name on even though they’ve been together 30+ years. It’s pathetic.
That’s exactly what they do to me!
Is your partner on the same page as you or does he have a relationship with his family?Cut them off. I did. They’ve never met my baby and they never will
Don’t put up with tit or getting treat like tit purely because they are your in law’s or because they are family. Being related, whether it’s by blood or marriage, does not mean it’s acceptable to treat someone like crap and get away with it. You wouldn’t accept it from a stranger so don’t accept it from them.
they have only met my baby twice ( when he was a few weeks old and at his christening)
My mother in law told me she was disgusted that we were having a baby while engaged and not actually married even tho we had our wedding date planned, since then it’s just pure hate from them. One of his aunty didn’t even bother to send the baby a card on his 1st birthday. Now they want to see him when we get out of covid. It’s the cause of all fights with me and my other half and he can’t see what witch’s they are
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This is a difficult one and I would say it depends what your OH's relationship is like with his family. My inlaws can be funny with me but I just bit my tongue and see them as little as possible.
The thing is families are different and some are just not inclusive. My OH knows I'm not over keen on spending time with his family so we compromise by me normally leaving early or not going at all. But I try to go because I know he enjoys having me there.
I'm sure you could ignore them for a couple of hours every few months if it keeps your OH happy.
Tbh most of their comments don't even bother me because I couldn't give two shits what they think about me. However we don't have kids and I guess if there are children involved it becomes more difficult because I wouldn't want to have my kids witness me being badly treated.
The thing is families are different and some are just not inclusive. My OH knows I'm not over keen on spending time with his family so we compromise by me normally leaving early or not going at all. But I try to go because I know he enjoys having me there.
I'm sure you could ignore them for a couple of hours every few months if it keeps your OH happy.
Tbh most of their comments don't even bother me because I couldn't give two shits what they think about me. However we don't have kids and I guess if there are children involved it becomes more difficult because I wouldn't want to have my kids witness me being badly treated.
My in-laws are the exact same. I haven't seen any of them since March 2020, thanks to Covid. Just goes to show that there's good in anything if you look for it!
If I was to go into any of the things that they have done to me over the years, I'd be fairly easy to identify so I won't, but I'm now at the stage where I have absolutely nothing to do with them, however my MIL is still managing to piss me off because she's clicking her fingers at my husband every 5 minutes and he's bloody stupid enough to jump to her every command. It's now gone to the stage where he comes home in the evening (I usually finish work earlier than him so cook dinner) eats his dinner and goes back out the door and to see MIL for at least two hours. This is now happening EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT
We ended up having a massive row during the week because I challenged him on it and God forbid you mention his mother because as far as he's concerned she can do no wrong. I told him that he has 3 other siblings so why is he ALWAYS the one doing everything for her? His reply was "Well I don't mind". No, but I bloody do! His excuse then was "Oh she's on her own, it's hard for her at night" I told him I was sick of being on my own every bloody night because he's always with her, but I'd have been better off banging my head off the wall because it just went in one ear and out the other.
My FIL passed away a couple of years ago and he was such a lovely man, an absolute gentleman. Too nice for MIL and she walked all over him.
I get on well with, well I call her my SIL, 'A'. She was married to my husband's brother until he had an affair and left her for another woman. MIL blamed her for that, said that she obviously 'wasn't making him happy at home' so apparently he had no choice but to have an affair. I'm close to 'A' son too, I'm not his biological aunt, but he calls me his favourite aunt. He's 25 now, but when he was younger he said it once in front of his two biological aunts. That was fun, for me anyway
How much is your partner on your side? I know you've said that he can't seem to see how horrible they are to you, but is it that he genuinely can't see it or that he just refuses to? Because it's definitely the second one with my husband.
If I was to go into any of the things that they have done to me over the years, I'd be fairly easy to identify so I won't, but I'm now at the stage where I have absolutely nothing to do with them, however my MIL is still managing to piss me off because she's clicking her fingers at my husband every 5 minutes and he's bloody stupid enough to jump to her every command. It's now gone to the stage where he comes home in the evening (I usually finish work earlier than him so cook dinner) eats his dinner and goes back out the door and to see MIL for at least two hours. This is now happening EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT
We ended up having a massive row during the week because I challenged him on it and God forbid you mention his mother because as far as he's concerned she can do no wrong. I told him that he has 3 other siblings so why is he ALWAYS the one doing everything for her? His reply was "Well I don't mind". No, but I bloody do! His excuse then was "Oh she's on her own, it's hard for her at night" I told him I was sick of being on my own every bloody night because he's always with her, but I'd have been better off banging my head off the wall because it just went in one ear and out the other.My FIL passed away a couple of years ago and he was such a lovely man, an absolute gentleman. Too nice for MIL and she walked all over him.
I get on well with, well I call her my SIL, 'A'. She was married to my husband's brother until he had an affair and left her for another woman. MIL blamed her for that, said that she obviously 'wasn't making him happy at home' so apparently he had no choice but to have an affair. I'm close to 'A' son too, I'm not his biological aunt, but he calls me his favourite aunt. He's 25 now, but when he was younger he said it once in front of his two biological aunts. That was fun, for me anyway
How much is your partner on your side? I know you've said that he can't seem to see how horrible they are to you, but is it that he genuinely can't see it or that he just refuses to? Because it's definitely the second one with my husband.
Omg our mil sound the exact same!My in-laws are the exact same. I haven't seen any of them since March 2020, thanks to Covid. Just goes to show that there's good in anything if you look for it!
If I was to go into any of the things that they have done to me over the years, I'd be fairly easy to identify so I won't, but I'm now at the stage where I have absolutely nothing to do with them, however my MIL is still managing to piss me off because she's clicking her fingers at my husband every 5 minutes and he's bloody stupid enough to jump to her every command. It's now gone to the stage where he comes home in the evening (I usually finish work earlier than him so cook dinner) eats his dinner and goes back out the door and to see MIL for at least two hours. This is now happening EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT
My FIL passed away a couple of years ago and he was such a lovely man, an absolute gentleman. Too nice for MIL and she walked all over him.
I get on well with, well I call her my SIL, 'A'. She was married to my husband's brother until he had an affair and left her for another woman. MIL blamed her for that, said that she obviously 'wasn't making him happy at home' so apparently he had no choice but to have an affair. I'm close to 'A' son too, I'm not his biological aunt, but he calls me his favourite aunt. He's 25 now, but when he was younger he said it once in front of his two biological aunts. That was fun, for me anyway
How much is your partner on your side? I know you've said that he can't seem to see how horrible they are to you, but is it that he genuinely can't see it or that he just refuses to? Because it's definitely the second one with my husband.
I don’t blame you not being happy about your hubby seeing her every night there is no need for that at all once/ twice a week max!
he is on my side but it’s usually after I’ve to make it very clear on how I’ve been made feel or how upset/ angry I am. I was accused by his mother when our baby was a few weeks old that I was a bad mother cos I wouldn’t listen to her advice about how to stop feeding at night, like that he didn’t correct her about saying something like that cos but doesn’t agree with the things she has said / done.
think he just doesn’t want to face the fact they are horrible people.
In my second marriage I was unfortunate to have horrid in laws, plus it was an abusive relationship so cutting them off wasn't so easy for me per se, so I tolerated. He had 2 loud, brash, older sisters and another, alot older than the others who married into money and thought she was a cut above everybody else - think cast of Birds of a Feather, each sister fitted each character down to a tee. He was older than me and so were they, they were out of my age group and we had literally nothing in common, so it made it all the more easier to have little interaction with them. I couldnt avoid visits to them, but I would often making myself busy if they were to visit.
His mother on the other hand was difficult. She was quite invasive. She would visit several times a week and would often stay over. She used my ex as a surrogate husband and when we had our child, it became even worse. I found I had no choice but to simply bite my tongue because he was also highly defensive of her and took the slightest criticism of her as an insult.
As for my current partners parents, I find I have to remind them that they have a grandson! They seem so disinterested it knocks me sick. It's such a shame really as my own father lives 250 miles away and is a doting grandad. One of his sisters dotes on our boy and it is visible she is trying her best to compensate. His brother changes like the wind. He causes trouble where ever he goes also and he has a tendancy to drag my partner down. I told my partner straight I do not want anything to do with him and do not want him in our home. I was delighted when he brandished me a witch and blocked me on social media.
His mother on the other hand was difficult. She was quite invasive. She would visit several times a week and would often stay over. She used my ex as a surrogate husband and when we had our child, it became even worse. I found I had no choice but to simply bite my tongue because he was also highly defensive of her and took the slightest criticism of her as an insult.
As for my current partners parents, I find I have to remind them that they have a grandson! They seem so disinterested it knocks me sick. It's such a shame really as my own father lives 250 miles away and is a doting grandad. One of his sisters dotes on our boy and it is visible she is trying her best to compensate. His brother changes like the wind. He causes trouble where ever he goes also and he has a tendancy to drag my partner down. I told my partner straight I do not want anything to do with him and do not want him in our home. I was delighted when he brandished me a witch and blocked me on social media.
Omg that’s horrible, least you have a great dad and by the sounds of it is the only family he needs!
This rings such a bell with me!!!My in-laws are the exact same. I haven't seen any of them since March 2020, thanks to Covid. Just goes to show that there's good in anything if you look for it!
If I was to go into any of the things that they have done to me over the years, I'd be fairly easy to identify so I won't, but I'm now at the stage where I have absolutely nothing to do with them, however my MIL is still managing to piss me off because she's clicking her fingers at my husband every 5 minutes and he's bloody stupid enough to jump to her every command. It's now gone to the stage where he comes home in the evening (I usually finish work earlier than him so cook dinner) eats his dinner and goes back out the door and to see MIL for at least two hours. This is now happening EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT
My FIL passed away a couple of years ago and he was such a lovely man, an absolute gentleman. Too nice for MIL and she walked all over him.
I get on well with, well I call her my SIL, 'A'. She was married to my husband's brother until he had an affair and left her for another woman. MIL blamed her for that, said that she obviously 'wasn't making him happy at home' so apparently he had no choice but to have an affair. I'm close to 'A' son too, I'm not his biological aunt, but he calls me his favourite aunt. He's 25 now, but when he was younger he said it once in front of his two biological aunts. That was fun, for me anyway
How much is your partner on your side? I know you've said that he can't seem to see how horrible they are to you, but is it that he genuinely can't see it or that he just refuses to? Because it's definitely the second one with my husband.
what is with mothers and their sons at times? Do you ever feel like your MIL makes it like a competition with your hubby? Mine does! She gets joy out of asking him would you not rather my food than base2019s and is so passive aggressive if he rings her lockdown cos he hasn’t called her 20 times that day. She doesn’t seem to understand that she can pick up the phone too! Also myself and my SIL who also married into the family literally get the blame for everything and I mean everything!!!! If the boys do something to stand up for themselves or say no it’s always the wives faults. Really annoys me
My fiancé’s family were always horrible to me, but in really passive aggressive ways or when he wasn’t stood next to me. It was the only thing we ever argued about as he didn’t stand up for me because he didn’t see it as an issue. When he finally started to see what was going on with his own eyes, he was on my side and quite shocked. We’ve ended up cutting them off entirely which is a huge relief to me, I tried so hard with them and nothing I ever did was good enough. It’s so freeing not to have to worry anymore.
I have more of a problem with my SiL than my MiL, although my MiL drinks the kool aid my SiL pours.
I encourage my husband to go and spend time with his mum which seems to really irk his sister - she likes to be present so she can listen in on what they talk about (even he picked up on that). She uses it as ammo to later gossip about us.
I try to have as little to do with my SiL as possible - even seeing her two or three times a year for family gatherings gets under my skin. There are always little digs here and there, and it's hard to bite my tongue to keep the peace. She's just an incredibly toxic person.
I encourage my husband to go and spend time with his mum which seems to really irk his sister - she likes to be present so she can listen in on what they talk about (even he picked up on that). She uses it as ammo to later gossip about us.
I try to have as little to do with my SiL as possible - even seeing her two or three times a year for family gatherings gets under my skin. There are always little digs here and there, and it's hard to bite my tongue to keep the peace. She's just an incredibly toxic person.
My husband is on the same page as me. It wasn’t really until he met me that he understood how toxic his mother was. He was paying board when he didn’t live there, paid all her bills and got himself in debt whilst she lived a life of Riley and sadly he thought this was normal. We have nothing to do with her now despite lots of texts to begin with but eventually he said we would involve the police if theh didn’t stop.
If your partner doesn’t see your side then fine - he can see her but simply say you never will. X
Not to sound clichè with the oh my MiL is a dragon tale but my MiL is a dragon, the only thing that’s good about the pandemic is I haven’t had to see her.
From the moment I met her she seemed to have a problem with me, I was far too young for him at first, there’s ten years between us I was 23 he was 33.
Then when we got married I was the devil because I wasn’t going to have my husbands dinner on the table waiting for him after he finishes work, I have a job too.
The main one is my husband and I don’t want children so there’s constant digs about that, my husbands ex had a little girl so his mother still says imagine you could of adopted her and had a family by now instead of marrying the Queen of Sheba (me).
I have to say my husband and my FiL always back me up but being honest it won’t be a sad day for me when she flies off to the underworld on her broomstick.
From the moment I met her she seemed to have a problem with me, I was far too young for him at first, there’s ten years between us I was 23 he was 33.
Then when we got married I was the devil because I wasn’t going to have my husbands dinner on the table waiting for him after he finishes work, I have a job too.
The main one is my husband and I don’t want children so there’s constant digs about that, my husbands ex had a little girl so his mother still says imagine you could of adopted her and had a family by now instead of marrying the Queen of Sheba (me).
I have to say my husband and my FiL always back me up but being honest it won’t be a sad day for me when she flies off to the underworld on her broomstick.
Some people are just so nasty.
Rise above it.
Whenever you are in her company be confident but quiet. Speak little, when you do be sooooo self assured. I am sure you do that already though
It does annoy me much as they live a 10 minute walk away and my partner has a child from a previous relationship in the next town who they would go to drive, so they could collect him to stay with them every other weekend. I have spoken to my partner about it. He makes excuses for it. I have definitely given up. I certainly don't expect but I was very disappointed when over Christmas his brothers girlfriends children (who are all from a previous relationship and are not related to them) got gifts. Our son got nothing.
See that’s were I’ve a huge problem with treat me what ever way I can stand up for myself but a child has never done anything wrong in these kind of situations. It annoys me so much that he doesn’t say anything to his family about them ignoring our child but if my family did it well it be a different tale to tell then. He won’t say anything to them about it so I’ve found that I’ve called them out on their crappy behaviour and they go crying to him cos I’ve said I’m not allowing you treat my child like this
I don’t have a mother in law but my husbands family are vile to me so I can relate. I try to rise above it but it’s hard when your constantly left out, not having my name put on the Christmas card etc etc
The pandemic has helped as I haven’t had to face many of them so that’s been great
My only advice is try not to let them see how it effects you, I think In a twisted way if they see you getting upset over things then it makes them want to do it more. I cut them out as much as I can, if I see them I’m polite and say hello but then remove myself from the situation.
The pandemic has helped as I haven’t had to face many of them so that’s been great
My only advice is try not to let them see how it effects you, I think In a twisted way if they see you getting upset over things then it makes them want to do it more. I cut them out as much as I can, if I see them I’m polite and say hello but then remove myself from the situation.
My partners family are horrible to him and me but the problem is he doesn’t even realise how poorly they treat him and he tries so hard to feel accepted and liked by them, to his own detriment. And because he doesn’t realise how poorly they treat him, he also doesn’t realise how poorly they treat me and so when a family event comes up he insists on me coming with him even though it’s the last thing in the world I’d want to do. He says it would look weird if I didn’t but in reality I have no problem with his family knowing that I’ve no interest in spending time with them!
Cut them off. I hate the expression 'blood is thicker than water'. Nope, some people are twats and always will be. My husband had a whole lifetime of his narcissist mother. Coming from a loving family myself, it took me 5 minutes to suss her out but 7 years for my husband to break out of the FOG (fear, obligation and guilt). For the period my in-laws were in our lives, it was oppressive and we lived in dread of them. Since we cut them off things are a million times better, it was like a weight had been lifted.