I split up with my husband today....

[Bogwoppit]

I split up with my husband today, been together nearly 25 yrs & I’m just feeling so down about things!

 

[1001 others]

My husband has moved out to stay with his dad, he suggested counselling but I just can’t see it working for us anymore, it’s been on my mind for a while, it was me who decided on the split. And thank you

I'll probably get slammed for this, but please consider going to counseling (the fact he suggested it is huge). The lack of sex and priority of work things are more common than people realise. Twenty five years is a huge deal and I really worry you're making a huge mistake. Maybe you both need a nudge in the right direction to remember what it was that attracted you in the first place? And maybe part of that is someone else (the counselor) helping you to identify ways in which you can both be better partners?

 

[Bogwoppit]

I'll probably get slammed for this, but please consider going to counseling (the fact he suggested it is huge). The lack of sex and priority of work things are more common than people realise. Twenty five years is a huge deal and I really worry you're making a huge mistake. Maybe you both need a nudge in the right direction to remember what it was that attracted you in the first place? And maybe part of that is someone else (the counselor) helping you to identify ways in which you can both be better partners?

I think for me it’s the fact he just hasn’t tried in our relationship for the past 2 yrs, whereas I have but now completely given up & I can’t see a solution to it, it was little things too, he never made me a cup of coffee in all the time we were together (petty I know) didn’t kiss me, cuddle me, txt or call me unless he wanted me to make his tea for when he got home, he is more like another child than an husband!

 

[Bogwoppit]

Is that permanent or just a trial separation?

Either way you have my thoughts

It’s been coming for a while, work takes a high priority in his life & there just doesn’t seem any room for me, lack of sex, affection has added to it too xx

 

[under the ivy]

Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you no matter how difficult and how long you’ve been together. My 4 year relationship ended earlier this year and it broke me (still does) but I know in the long run it’s what best. Take care x

 

[Bogwoppit]

Well even that is helpful in what is, I'm sure, a weird day for you. Sure we will all be here for the chat anyway.
Is there going to be massive upheaval to your life? Do you have to move or is he? Sorry if you don't want to answer

My husband has moved out to stay with his dad, he suggested counselling but I just can’t see it working for us anymore, it’s been on my mind for a while, it was me who decided on the split. And thank you

 

[Babyyoda88]

As ridiculously hard as it is, it shows great bravery breaking away from that security and familiarity and putting yourself and your life first.
wishing you a very happy future

 

[at-the-disco]

sorry to hear that, it must be such a heartbreaking situation! just think that this is a new, better chapter coming in your life

 

[WilmaHun]

I'm so sorry to hear this! Whilst I do not have any solid words of advice, I just wanted to send a big Tattle hug your way!

I think the fact that it was YOUR decision is one of the best things, you can now focus on yourself and do what's best for you.

 

[Bogwoppit]

Very sorry to hear that, I hope you're doing ok. Have you family or friends to support you?

No not really, but I do feel a sense of relief in a way!

 

[Bgr101]

I think for me it’s the fact he just hasn’t tried in our relationship for the past 2 yrs, whereas I have but now completely given up & I can’t see a solution to it, it was little things too, he never made me a cup of coffee in all the time we were together (petty I know) didn’t kiss me, cuddle me, txt or call me unless he wanted me to make his tea for when he got home, he is more like another child than an husband!

When it comes to things like the ones you mention men dont even think about those thinga really. He maybe thought by going out and earning a living he was doing his part for the marriage. If you no longer love him though then theres not a lot to work on really. Take care

 

[Bogwoppit]

When it comes to things like the ones you mention men dont even think about those thinga really. He maybe thought by going out and earning a living he was doing his part for the marriage. If you no longer love him though then theres not a lot to work on really. Take care

I work not as many hours (30) but come home, clean, cook & look after our children I just felt lonely always on my own, never shown affection when he was around even though I tried, at the end I felt like he was looking at me in sheer disgust & it’s knocked my confidence terribly too.

 

[NoMoreSpotlight]

No not really, but I do feel a sense of relief in a way!

Well even that is helpful in what is, I'm sure, a weird day for you. Sure we will all be here for the chat anyway.
Is there going to be massive upheaval to your life? Do you have to move or is he? Sorry if you don't want to answer

 

[Bogwoppit]

As ridiculously hard as it is, it shows great bravery breaking away from that security and familiarity and putting yourself and your life first.
wishing you a very happy future

Thank you so much

 

[ClockworkDolly]

I wish you all the best for the next chapter of your life.

 

[Mulholland Drive]

Is that permanent or just a trial separation?

Either way you have my thoughts

 

[Skyeball]

I wish you well. Have a big hug xx

 

[NoMoreSpotlight]

Very sorry to hear that, I hope you're doing ok. Have you family or friends to support you?

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

At the end of the day you need to make the right choice for you!
But like another poster said please reconsider counseling. If he didn’t love you or cared for you he would not have suggested it. Men are notoriously against any form of therapy.
In any regards goodluck

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I'm approaching the thirty-second anniversary of my parent's splitting up, so my commiserations.