Thank you
They are as good as family to me. As someone who never intends to have kids of my own, they are super important in my life.
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They are as good as family to me. As someone who never intends to have kids of my own, they are super important in my life.We have had christenings and have god parents for our children. However we have made a will that nominates who will take our children in the event of both our deaths. Our will details who would have custody of them and how our estate can be spent for their benefit. The executor of that is a person who wasn’t even at the christenings. We organised this with the full agreement of all involved and it was drawn up after their christenings.
If you are not religious and do not agree with the ceremony then you should not take part (if you are not comfortable with it, I don’t mean you should be barred!
) . You are the child’s aunt and will always be their blood relative. This holds far more sway than any sacrament in a church. As a pp stated, at the ceremony, a god parent only agrees to take on their spiritual well-being.
If your family want you to take on their child’s physical well-being in the event of their death then this is a legal issue and has nothing to do with a day out in a church. You should talk to them to clarify what they imagine your role to be in this child’s life.
As a last point, a relationship with a child is built through time spent together and love. The people my children love are those that spend time making them laugh, listening to them and caring about them. Titles such as godmother etc mean nothing to the actual child. So don’t let the issues with your sister in law stop you from building that bond with your relation.
If you are not religious and do not agree with the ceremony then you should not take part (if you are not comfortable with it, I don’t mean you should be barred!
) . You are the child’s aunt and will always be their blood relative. This holds far more sway than any sacrament in a church. As a pp stated, at the ceremony, a god parent only agrees to take on their spiritual well-being.If your family want you to take on their child’s physical well-being in the event of their death then this is a legal issue and has nothing to do with a day out in a church. You should talk to them to clarify what they imagine your role to be in this child’s life.
As a last point, a relationship with a child is built through time spent together and love. The people my children love are those that spend time making them laugh, listening to them and caring about them. Titles such as godmother etc mean nothing to the actual child. So don’t let the issues with your sister in law stop you from building that bond with your relation.
Thank you, I am starting to feel much better with it all now, of course I love my neice an I'd be there for her, most of all this comes from the SIL using every opportunity to push me aside an the godmother thing is just another way to push me away as she knows my views on this an also my anxiety on being in busy places and it would be a way for her to limit me being able to have my neice as she would use the "she needs time at her godmothers" to do that
Personally I don't think it's right to even be doing the christening as neither go to church or will be going after it an I dare say they won't be raising her in a religious way
Personally I don't think it's right to even be doing the christening as neither go to church or will be going after it an I dare say they won't be raising her in a religious way
Your SIL sounds like a nasty piece of work
She is, I can't phone or text my brother but she listens in an reads his texts, he's not allowed to visit on his own, she controls all his finances and for the wedding she picked too small a place knowing it wasn't big enough for his family so he had to pick who was going to be invited, an now this with the godmother, another way to get what she wants as she would obviously have her friends rather than me
If that’s the case then your brother needs help in getting away from her. What she’s doing is coercive control and it’s a form of domestic abuse.
I've said for years she was controlling an he needed out, she basically pushed him into marriage, he had wanted marriage an kids in his 30s, she wouldn't wait an pushed for a ring, soon as he proposed she had the wedding booked a week later an they were married barely a year after it an then my neice come along, he's just turned 30, it was him that had to go for the mortgage as well as she had been bankrupt so they wouldn't give her anything so even though its technically his place he doesn't get a say with anything, he always wanted to live half way between our parents an hers but again she wouldn't have it so he's a hours drive from us an 5mins from her parents house
Can any of his family say anything?! Is he aware that he’s being completely manipulated?
Our parents have argued consisting with him, but when you try to make him see sense he goes more to her, she has him completly wasted an unable to even think for himself anymore, he's out working 6 days a week 15h driving to get money cause she won't work