Husband working abroad?

[lipsticktaser]

hey,
My husband has been asked to apply for a job in the UAE. It would mean significantly more money. Initially it would be a 12month contact, so my daughter and I would stay here.
He’d like to do three years, and effectively pay off the house (only lived in a year). To do this he thinks it is best if he stays there on his own and lives frugally.
Does anyone have any experience of partners living abroad?
Is it doable?

We have a great relationship. I just think we’d miss him terribly.

I’m just trying to figure out if the positives outweigh the negatives.

In my mind I’m like, take it year by year(if he’s successful that is) and there is really nothing stoping us going over if he got a permanent contract.


Sorry rambling comment. My mind goes straight to the end product and I’m just trying to logically think through what this decision could look like for us.

 

[BettyCrocker]

Are you financially comfortable at the moment? Do you need him to do this, from a financial standpoint or would everything be ok if he didn’t?
How old is your daughter?
do you currently have a good network around you of family/friends who can support you when he’s away - because effectively you will be a single parent for the duration of the time he’s away.

it’s obviously a personal decision that only the two of you can make but for me, unless we were in a dire financial state and NEEDED this job, I think it’s a step to far.

 

[PineappleQueen19]

That is a massive dilemma.
FWIW even if it’s only a year to start with, I think it’s still worth investigating to see how you could make the move together as a family.
No idea how feasible this is with schooling, whether you could rent out your current home, how this affects your own career etc.

This means it would be a family adventure, something you are facing and experiencing together, even if the net gain on the financials isn’t quite as high as if he went on his own.

While the thought of being mortgage free in three years is seductive, it’s not nearly as important as your marriage and that should be the priority. Many a rock solid relationship has been brought asunder by one person moving abroad, no matter what measures you take to mitigate problems.

(And while I get stability is important for children I also think new cultures/experiences are amazing for them too if handled in the right way).

 

[Frankensooze]

Renting property is the biggest expense in the UAE, I'd suggest renting out your property here, and going with him. I've done long distance relationship, it's hard, and I've seen a lot of relationships go under, so I'd strongly advise going with him.

 

[Practically Perfect]

Manage your expectations is my advice and both agree on everything.

Mine wasnt away for th entire year but worked 'away'. I had 2 young babies at the time and in all honesty i wasnt cut out for it. I was lonley, depressed and my imagination went insane. In those days mobile phones was a new thing and there was no such thing as Facetime, Skype so my paranoia was crazy. I was very immature which I dont think helped. I ended up being full of resentment for the life i was missing and the life i thought he was having. I hated summer particualry as i was always alone and even though i did have a lot of family i felt abandoned and isolated. it also pissed me off when daddy came home, disrupted everything and was 'superman' who brought gifts and didnt shout at them. The kids missed him terribly and all in all it was a disaster. We divorced.

I am not saying this too scare you but to let you know it is so much harder living it; yes we had good money but it wasnt worth what it cost us.

Be sensible about it, agree boundaries and schedules and milestones to review - i know that sounds like projet management but its so important that you really think about it. If you have any qualms about it, even tiny ones, go with him.

 

[Bonnie Bisou]

I think you either all go as a family or not at all....men always get lonely(wink wink) while alone working abroad....

 

[lipsticktaser]

Thanks for all your replies. It’s definitely given me some food for though.
We have a comfortable life just now but have little scope to save. The house and school fees take up a big chunk of our outgoings.
I’m a SAHM so not too concerned about my career, as my daughter is only 11. I plan on rejoining the work force when she finishes schooling (I’ll be 37).

We’ve had a chat and he’s going to apply. It’s not a given he’ll get it, as there may be better candidates. We think better to apply and be in the position of having an offer, than wondering.

The initial contract is 12 months. If he gets it he will go without us. If the contract is renewed we will reassess, and then we’ll probably go join him.

We’ve looked at school holiday and worked out what would be a good schedule for visiting. We think the most we would go without seeing each other is 6 weeks.

I’m really lucky all my family are at max 10 mins drive away. So I have a good support network.

We both just think, better to try it and hate it, than wonder what if.

Thanks again for all your advice
X

 

[Amay92]

My partner and I did long distance for 16 months. He was in England and I moved back to Australia to continue my studies. It was HARD, but it is doable. We only saw each other twice in the 16 months (he came here for 3 weeks and I went to England for 3 weeks).

I’d heard nothing but horror stories before I left and it definitely made it more challenging - your mind definitely jumps to the worse case situations occasionally but you get through it.

Like I said, it’s definitely doable you just need to make the time!! Having a routine of when you speak to one another helps massively. In the end it just became the norm and after about 6 months it was an easier ride than I ever expected.

 

[Konstantine]

It is absolutely possible. My husband works away nearly 300 days a year and, provided you have your own life, job, friends and social life, you will be absolutely fine. You just need to make sure you book in and schedule time together alone or as a family.

 

[Kimmy]

hey,
My husband has been asked to apply for a job in the UAE. It would mean significantly more money. Initially it would be a 12month contact, so my daughter and I would stay here.
He’d like to do three years, and effectively pay off the house (only lived in a year). To do this he thinks it is best if he stays there on his own and lives frugally.
Does anyone have any experience of partners living abroad?
Is it doable?

We have a great relationship. I just think we’d miss him terribly.

I’m just trying to figure out if the positives outweigh the negatives.

In my mind I’m like, take it year by year(if he’s successful that is) and there is really nothing stoping us going over if he got a permanent contract.


Sorry rambling comment. My mind goes straight to the end product and I’m just trying to logically think through what this decision could look like for us.

My advice... Go with him
See somewhere new. There are great schools if your little one is in school.
There's lots of temptation there. Tonnes of poor single workers looking to bag a successful man get a better life etc.
I would totally go and try living somewhere else. Beautiful country friendly people hot weather loads of expats to make friends with. You will love it

 

[Pinchme]

It's very doable, I came home with the kids and left my husband there for 12 months, reason was so he could work and save, which he did, and it allowed us to pay off the mortgage which has made all the difference in our lives.

UAE is amazing, a great place to holiday, the life style there is unbelievable, so you can visit every school holiday and he will obviously have holiday to take.

Good luck hope he gets the job

 

[Whatthe]

I maybe wrong, but don’t you have to workout there for 3 years to benefit from the no tax element? Otherwise you just have to pay the tax back ?. I am only saying this, as I have a few friends out there and they all say they have to do 3 year min, to benefit.

 

[Pinchme]

I maybe wrong, but don’t you have to workout there for 3 years to benefit from the no tax element? Otherwise you just have to pay the tax back ?. I am only saying this, as I have a few friends out there and they all say they have to do 3 year min, to benefit.

I've never heard this before, my understanding is if you are not a UK resident then money earnt working abroad is not taxable.

You only pay tax on earning in the UK ie income from any rentals, interest on savings etc.

You can bring upto 12k back per year before tax, (I think)

 

[Bonnie Bisou]

What is your tax residency?
If you take a 6-month contract in Dubai and live and work in the emirate for just 6 months, you are likely to remain ordinary resident in your home country for tax purposes and your income could be subject to your home country taxation.

Looks like short contract of 6/12 months don’t qualify for tax exemption

 

[KermitTheCloffff]

My husband worked in Saudi for two years. His accommodation, food, flights home and everything he needed was paid for by his employers.

He was taxed on his earnings and we claimed it back at the end of the tax year. His company paid for him to come home for one week every month. He couldn’t be in this country for any more than 90 days a year to be able to claim the tax back. Sometimes we would meet up in Spain or Germany if he was getting close to his 90 days.

I found the first year quite hard, but I kind of got into my own groove in the second year. The money was amazing and we have put enough aside to pay off our mortgage in January. It was short term pain for long term gain. If your husband is in Saudi there’s next to no chance of them cheating, the women just don’t have that kind of freedom.

I’d say go for it.

 

[lipsticktaser]

Little update, he got offered a job here with a hike in salary. Not as much as going abroad but significant enough that we decided the move wasn't worth it.
So he's staying put!

 

[Whatthe]

Fab news! Congrats

 

[helloisitmeyourlookingfor]

I think you should all go together. Hope it all works our for you.