Was only meant tongue in cheek.
Well thankfully you didnt need a trip to A&E and have to explain that one and also dodged therapy too, devastating that you didnt even get chance to finish though as finding time itself is hard enough.
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My 4 year old had obviously been in our room one day last week as her barbie dolls were wearing condom rain hats.
My son (7) fired a “cannon” at my friend when she visited for the first time that was actually a tampax compact.
We once caught them playing “crinimal and pleece occifer” with novelty fur trimmed handcuffs.
We’ve installed high shelves now.
My son (7) fired a “cannon” at my friend when she visited for the first time that was actually a tampax compact.
We once caught them playing “crinimal and pleece occifer” with novelty fur trimmed handcuffs.
We’ve installed high shelves now.
Some good ones there, thats the issue of a bedside drawer in our case as its in easy reach of the kids. The things in there need to be easily accessible when you are in bed but at the same time they need to be away from prying hands delving in there uninvited.
That is either an impressive feat of speed and efficiency or a hell of an endurance test with the stop start potential.
Sit and watch Netflix until stupidly late and they are asleep. Then we have to do it on the bedroom floor because our bed is squeaky as duck
Ffs that totally reminded me about 10 years ago we caught our toddler eating the sachets of popular sweet ( fruit salad, drumstick) flavour lubes
Hope you have a soft carpet otherwise that could lead to some injuries also.
At our old place the bedroom was so small that the headboard not only hit the wall so much we had to buy a spare pillow to push down the back to stop it we used to always knock the bedside lamps off. Neither scenario is great when 1 kids room is against that wall and lamps were really heavy and loud falling off, usually waking someone up.
Ffs that totally reminded me about 10 years ago we caught our toddler eating the sachets of popular sweet ( fruit salad, drumstick) flavour lubes
wow, we live in constant fear that our kids are going to raid the bedside drawer for all sorts of things too. Never heard of those flavours of lube, they sound amazing. 
The lubes were Ann summers box of 10 sachetHope you have a soft carpet otherwise that could lead to some injuries also.
At our old place the bedroom was so small that the headboard not only hit the wall so much we had to buy a spare pillow to push down the back to stop it we used to always knock the bedside lamps off. Neither scenario is great when 1 kids room is against that wall and lamps were really heavy and loud falling off, usually waking someone up.
our bedside draw items are kept in a locked suitcase under the bedWe put the duvet on the carpetThe lubes were Ann summers box of 10 sachet
Havent seen those particular flavours before but always liked those particular Brit classic candies.The lubes were Ann summers box of 10 sachet
Guess that would make sense if you are already on the floor as they would be next to you under the bed. Is that how you always have sex then if your 'items' are always in there? Couldnt exactly reach for anything in the heat of the moment if you were in the bed though I imagine, how do you navigate a lock in the dark?Our bedside draw items are kept in a locked suitcase under the bed
We put the duvet on the carpet
How do you explain that one should any wandering children come in? Say you are camping on the floor...?
Havent seen those particular flavours before but always liked those particular Brit classic candies.
Guess that would make sense if you are already on the floor as they would be next to you under the bed. Is that how you always have sex then if your 'items' are always in there? Couldnt exactly reach for anything in the heat of the moment if you were in the bed though I imagine, how do you navigate a lock in the dark?
How do you explain that one should any wandering children come in? Say you are camping on the floor...?
The duvet goes on the floor behind the door so the door would be blocked anyway , I suppose I would have to pretend I had fallen out of bedHavent seen those particular flavours before but always liked those particular Brit classic candies.
Guess that would make sense if you are already on the floor as they would be next to you under the bed. Is that how you always have sex then if your 'items' are always in there? Couldnt exactly reach for anything in the heat of the moment if you were in the bed though I imagine, how do you navigate a lock in the dark?
How do you explain that one should any wandering children come in? Say you are camping on the floor...?
Not always on the floor , will use the bed during the day when kids are at school and no body to disturb. Sorry joined on neighbors you don't count !
Usually enough pre warning to unlock the case and stash the required items in more convenient places.
It's rarely dark
lights onI dunno what size your bedside tables but it's pretty hard to fit a 20inch spreader bar in your top drawer
Well that is some advance planning and explain the noise on repeatedly falling out of bed?The duvet goes on the floor behind the door so the door would be blocked anyway , I suppose I would have to pretend I had fallen out of bed
Not always on the floor , will use the bed during the day when kids are at school and no body to disturb. Sorry joined on neighbors you don't count !
Usually enough pre warning to unlock the case and stash the required items in more convenient places.
It's rarely dark
I dunno what size your bedside tables but it's pretty hard to fit a 20inch spreader bar in your top drawer
The neighbours ever complained then seem as though you put it like that?
Our bedside tables would barely be big enough for a full size vibrator never mind a 20 inch Spreader bar. Though my wife is always worried the kids would find our stuff if we put too much in there. Although it sounds like an impressive kit you have under there.
The neighbors are an older couple so hopefully a bit hard of hearing and I do know they don't use the bedroom that's joined in to ours.Well that is some advance planning and explain the noise on repeatedly falling out of bed?
The neighbours ever complained then seem as though you put it like that?
Our bedside tables would barely be big enough for a full size vibrator never mind a 20 inch Spreader bar. Though my wife is always worried the kids would find our stuff if we put too much in there. Although it sounds like an impressive kit you have under there.
There is possibly some small vending machine novelty items in the bedside drawer but the main collection is defo locked up
there is no way I want to be explaining that.Well that is some advance planning and explain the noise on repeatedly falling out of bed?
The neighbours ever complained then seem as though you put it like that?
Our bedside tables would barely be big enough for a full size vibrator never mind a 20 inch Spreader bar. Though my wife is always worried the kids would find our stuff if we put too much in there. Although it sounds like an impressive kit you have under there.
I did just see some fab lockable storage cases on one more fave websites recently but they were £50 ish
Well that would be a bonus on both counts at least. We can regularly hear our neighbours going at it and while we are happy they also have an active sex life it can be pretty off putting when you can hear it when you are trying to be intimate
As in the kind from toilet vending machines? Harder things to explain than a spreader bar?Wormhole said:There is possibly some small vending machine novelty items in the bedside drawer but the main collection is defo locked up
That is quite expensive for a sex toy storage box but guess it depends how out there the collection is and how much embarrassment it could save.Wormhole said:I did just see some fab lockable storage cases on one more fave websites recently but they were £50 ish
I had a friend who on a whim bought a sex swing and took ages for them to find a time for them to use it. One afternoon while kids were at the in laws they managed session and then went out.
When they got home they saw his mother in law had brought kids back early and when they walked in house they were horrified to find they had forgotten to put the swing away and she was attempting to put one of the kids in it thinking it was a baby bouncer or something.
The spreader bar looks pretty innocent when the leg cuffs are not attached.Well that would be a bonus on both counts at least. We can regularly hear our neighbours going at it and while we are happy they also have an active sex life it can be pretty off putting when you can hear it when you are trying to be intimate
As in the kind from toilet vending machines? Harder things to explain than a spreader bar?
That is quite expensive for a sex toy storage box but guess it depends how out there the collection is and how much embarrassment it could save.
I had a friend who on a whim bought a sex swing and took ages for them to find a time for them to use it. One afternoon while kids were at the in laws they managed session and then went out.
When they got home they saw his mother in law had brought kids back early and when they walked in house they were horrified to find they had forgotten to put the swing away and she was attempting to put one of the kids in it thinking it was a baby bouncer or something.
I guess when you think about it like that it wouldnt really look like much without those attached.