How best to handle a friendship breakdown?

[_Laura]

Oh dear...thank you though for all your help. I've actually been thinking I'm the one who's been a crappy friend because I hadn't replied back on the 3rd April when she told me she was disappointed and upset (but it's fine) partly because I didn't know what to say, and partly because I thought I should leave her be, but that was wrong of me and I should have said *something*. I'm not sure she's ever going to speak to me again now...

I really feel for you! I had a friend move in with me for a month and I hated it. Honestly there were times where I wanted to change the locks so she wouldn’t be able to come home after work and she was totally oblivious It’s tough because I completely see where you’re coming from and I really admire you for telling her no in the first place, I’m just sorry she reacted that way!

 

[Pontiac_Bandit]

Oh dear...thank you though for all your help. I've actually been thinking I'm the one who's been a crappy friend because I hadn't replied back on the 3rd April when she told me she was disappointed and upset (but it's fine) partly because I didn't know what to say, and partly because I thought I should leave her be, but that was wrong of me and I should have said *something*. I'm not sure she's ever going to speak to me again now...

Your friend is probably feeling quite hurt and rejected, and has no idea that you feel so bad about it or why you didn't reply after she said she was disappointed and upset. Can you send her a message to explain what your thinking was behind everything and to let her know that you've been feeling really awful and don't want to lose her friendship? In trying to give her space and her not wanting to meet in person, it might be that messages you've sent have sounded like you don't care, even though that's not true. Try reaching out again via message to say what you've said here and make yourself vulnerable to her so she feels less embarrassed/rejected, and see where that takes you. You can then gauge from her response how to proceed after that - but if she's sharing her feelings, respond to them and keep talking so she knows you value her and her emotions

 

[Tove_drew]

Your friend is probably feeling quite hurt and rejected, and has no idea that you feel so bad about it or why you didn't reply after she said she was disappointed and upset. Can you send her a message to explain what your thinking was behind everything and to let her know that you've been feeling really awful and don't want to lose her friendship? In trying to give her space and her not wanting to meet in person, it might be that messages you've sent have sounded like you don't care, even though that's not true. Try reaching out again via message to say what you've said here and make yourself vulnerable to her so she feels less embarrassed/rejected, and see where that takes you. You can then gauge from her response how to proceed after that - but if she's sharing her feelings, respond to them and keep talking so she knows you value her and her emotions

I'm with you on this.

I think it's hard to realise and accept you've let your friend down - even if your reasoning and logic is one of compassion. Moving and living situations can bring so much stress.