Absolutely nothing wrong with going on a holiday without your partner. Sometimes you need time for yourself as well, you don’t have to do everything with your partner and personally I think it might be healthy having space apart sometimes
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From experience, my now ex-boyfriend and myself were very close, very trusting of each other, loved each other etc, but he would not let me go to Ibiza for 4 days with my friends, all early 20s (one of my friends lived out there and we were visiting and obviously partying). My friends even came round to see him and said that I worshipped the ground he walked on and would never cheat and they would look after me etc but he wouldn't let up, said he didn't trust other people out there. Needless to say, I didn't go out of fear of going and then my relationship being ruined... he then broke up with me weeks later stating 'I wasn't in the same mind frame as him as I didn't want to go on holidays with my friends'. I laugh about it now, but regret that whilst my friends were out having the time of their lives I chose a boy over such an experience.
If your holiday has been planned, talked about etc for such a long time then, honestly, if he's not letting her go she needs to let go of the relationship and have the holiday, especially if he's showing doubts. I wish I'd known better.
If your holiday has been planned, talked about etc for such a long time then, honestly, if he's not letting her go she needs to let go of the relationship and have the holiday, especially if he's showing doubts. I wish I'd known better.
Sounds like him and his mother need a slap.
I’m married and still have holidays with friends. My husband probably enjoys me being away as much as I enjoy being away and me the same when he’s on a lads holiday. It’s important to have that separate time.
Speak to your friend. A strong friendship is built on honesty. She could end up in a very messy relationship if it starts becoming controlling. This is the first red flag of many.
I’m married and still have holidays with friends. My husband probably enjoys me being away as much as I enjoy being away and me the same when he’s on a lads holiday. It’s important to have that separate time.
Speak to your friend. A strong friendship is built on honesty. She could end up in a very messy relationship if it starts becoming controlling. This is the first red flag of many.
Bloody hell it’s none of his mothers business if she goes on holiday! She sounds so interfering. Tell your friend not to listen to her
That would drive me mad. How dare she take such a special holiday away from you
That would drive me mad. How dare she take such a special holiday away from you
Friends holidays are the best ! Her mother sounds judgmental . I use to get judged for going on holiday with my friends and not my boyfriend (who doesn't like flying) I don't know why people think you have to be joint to the hip in relationships.
Absence makes the heart grow founder (although I guess not so much with covid)
She should tell his ma not to worry, she will bring them both back a stick of rock
***a stick of rock is a candy and is usually given as a souvenir. not sure if every country has this?
She should tell his ma not to worry, she will bring them both back a stick of rock
***a stick of rock is a candy and is usually given as a souvenir. not sure if every country has this?
Update if anyone is interested!
woke up this morning from her saying that she can’t go on holiday with me anymore
woke up this morning from her saying that she can’t go on holiday with me anymore
It is unfortunate but it is her decision. I think going on holiday with friends while in a relationship or married is totally acceptable but going on a once in a lifetime style long haul holiday is a bit different. Perhaps this have goals for this year like moving in together or saving to buy and the holiday is too much financially for that still to come off?Update if anyone is interested!
woke up this morning from her saying that she can’t go on holiday with me anymore
Hopefully at one point you still get your dream holiday!
Thats so disappointing, I’m sorry to hear that. I really hope it’s nothing to do with listening to her MIL. & I hope you have another friend who will go with you and bring no dramas.Update if anyone is interested!
woke up this morning from her saying that she can’t go on holiday with me anymore
Couples need their own sets of friends and don’t always need to be together- including holidays.
Thanks!
said friend is now in a mood with me because I’ve booked the dream holiday with someone else!
said friend is now in a mood with me because I’ve booked the dream holiday with someone else!
WHAT?! Nah duck her sorry. She said she wasn't going how is it fair that she's now saying you can't go with someone else?!
What were her reasons for not going?
her boyfriend said that he wants a baby but also isn’t sure if he wants to be with her anymore... so she’s decided now she will bring the baby forward so it means no holidays anymore..
I have so many things to say but I can't even pick where to start. So she's going to have a baby with a man who doesn't know if he wants to be with her cause he wants a baby but doesn't know if he wants to be with her?
Don't get me wrong all babies are blessings of course but that's hardly a good dynamic to bring a child into. She's just having the baby to keep him even though he may not want to be with her anyway? And to top it off, she's pissed off with you for going on a holiday that she could well go on but she's choosing not to cause her fella is being a massive ball sack.
Sounds like a bleeping disaster
She sounds ridiculously immature. That baby will do nothing to fix the relationship, it's a child not a bandage
She might not even get pregnant straight away. It can take some couples years.
If I was you I would have a sit down with this friend and have a talk. Is her boyfriend controlling? Maybe she needs help. However, you need to explain to her she has no right to get upset about you taking another friend on holiday when she’s said she doesn’t want to go.
If she can’t understand that what she is doing is unfair, cut her off.
If I was you I would have a sit down with this friend and have a talk. Is her boyfriend controlling? Maybe she needs help. However, you need to explain to her she has no right to get upset about you taking another friend on holiday when she’s said she doesn’t want to go.
If she can’t understand that what she is doing is unfair, cut her off.
how old is your friend and her boyfriend? They sound like a pair of stupid kids.
I know, it’s so difficult as I feel she is only bumping up the baby so he won’t leave her, which is so not why you put a baby in the mix!
I know
Actually whilst these thread is still active could I get some more advice?
so my best mate is now not talking to me, I expressed that I was disappointed as we had been talking about this trip since we were teenagers and it all seemed so positive and the the last 2 months her boyfriend said he wasn’t sure how he felt about her. Of course I want her to have children and experience all of that but I know her better than she knows herself and she wanted to start trying in a couple of years time.
Now because he’s been so distance and strange with her she said that she’s Really thought about what she wants to do with her life in the last 2 weeks and that she wants to start trying for a baby; which is great and I will support her in all that she does! She said that we would do our dream trip one day, but I know we won’t, so I just asked her to not make false promises. She then flew off the handle and said she has apologised and that she thought I would understand her decision and be supportive, but obviously she was wrong. That really hurt me as I have always been SO supportive in everything she does, it’s just that I feel she is just saying what her boyfriend wants to hear.
she then turned around and said I can’t do this right now, neither of us can and has spoken to me since. Has she done this because she can’t talk about it because it’s not really what she wants? I’m over the holiday, I was naturally upset of course! But I was more upset that she had not spoken to me about all of this because I’m single, and for some bizzare reason, some people don’t think single people are worthy of advice! I don’t want to lose my best friend over this
thanks so much and sorry it a long one!
so my best mate is now not talking to me, I expressed that I was disappointed as we had been talking about this trip since we were teenagers and it all seemed so positive and the the last 2 months her boyfriend said he wasn’t sure how he felt about her. Of course I want her to have children and experience all of that but I know her better than she knows herself and she wanted to start trying in a couple of years time.
Now because he’s been so distance and strange with her she said that she’s Really thought about what she wants to do with her life in the last 2 weeks and that she wants to start trying for a baby; which is great and I will support her in all that she does! She said that we would do our dream trip one day, but I know we won’t, so I just asked her to not make false promises. She then flew off the handle and said she has apologised and that she thought I would understand her decision and be supportive, but obviously she was wrong. That really hurt me as I have always been SO supportive in everything she does, it’s just that I feel she is just saying what her boyfriend wants to hear.
she then turned around and said I can’t do this right now, neither of us can and has spoken to me since. Has she done this because she can’t talk about it because it’s not really what she wants? I’m over the holiday, I was naturally upset of course! But I was more upset that she had not spoken to me about all of this because I’m single, and for some bizzare reason, some people don’t think single people are worthy of advice! I don’t want to lose my best friend over this
thanks so much and sorry it a long one!
she wants to try for a baby with a guy who “isn’t sure” he wants to be with her and who’s mother seems to do all his talking for him? She’s an idiot.Actually whilst these thread is still active could I get some more advice?
so my best mate is now not talking to me, I expressed that I was disappointed as we had been talking about this trip since we were teenagers and it all seemed so positive and the the last 2 months her boyfriend said he wasn’t sure how he felt about her. Of course I want her to have children and experience all of that but I know her better than she knows herself and she wanted to start trying in a couple of years time.
Now because he’s been so distance and strange with her she said that she’s Really thought about what she wants to do with her life in the last 2 weeks and that she wants to start trying for a baby; which is great and I will support her in all that she does! She said that we would do our dream trip one day, but I know we won’t, so I just asked her to not make false promises. She then flew off the handle and said she has apologised and that she thought I would understand her decision and be supportive, but obviously she was wrong. That really hurt me as I have always been SO supportive in everything she does, it’s just that I feel she is just saying what her boyfriend wants to hear.
she then turned around and said I can’t do this right now, neither of us can and has spoken to me since. Has she done this because she can’t talk about it because it’s not really what she wants? I’m over the holiday, I was naturally upset of course! But I was more upset that she had not spoken to me about all of this because I’m single, and for some bizzare reason, some people don’t think single people are worthy of advice! I don’t want to lose my best friend over this
thanks so much and sorry it a long one!
if she’s your best friend then talk to her. Have a full & Frank conversation about everything- forget the holiday, it’s never going to happen but try to talk to her about this ridiculous notion of having a child with this guy. Are they even in a position to have a child? Do they live together? Do they both work? Do they have support from family? Do they BOTH genuinely want to have a child together? She just sounds absolutely ridiculous.