Hoarding and cleaning

[Amelia99]

I can’t watch hoarders as I find it distressing. I’m at the other end of the spectrum. I can’t stand clutter so find looking at all those houses overflowing with “stuff” really difficult. But I do feel sorry for the people because I know that hoarding is a genuine psychological condition which is hard to overcome.

 

[Peartree]

I don’t even know where to start with this thread. If you came to my house you would find a nice clean and tidy, clutter free generally nice place. But ... visitors don’t see inside the storage cupboards, spare room, hubbys music room, garage, attic etc
We have too much stuff, to be honest I’m not too sure how it’s happened. We've owned a few houses, generally through life aquired things, hobbies have grown, theres been a few immediate family deaths, we’ve inherited bits and pieces, and had to completely clear out 2 houses of stuff. (Lots of ‘stuff’ )

So jan 1st 2020 I set myself the task of using or getting rid of it all.
someone told me to throw, recycle, sell or donate an item everyday, when I feel I have time then to do more, so I did and it’s funny how things become a habit. I’ve probably got rid of a few thousand items so far. But there’s still quite a lot to go. Doesn’t help that as I’m going I’m decorating

I also decided I wasn’t going to spend money on anything nonessential
so for example, shower wash/ gels, I got them all together and found I had a lot, I’d stock piled some because it’d been on offer, expensive gifts including molten brown, decleor, Elemis etc I had loads of it waiting for that special occasion - in reality that’s not going to happen. So I decided I wouldn’t buy anymore until I’d used it all up - I shower every day, sometimes twice a day and I didn’t have to buy any until about November time.
Ive done the same with all beauty products, candles, cleaning products etc
candles / wax melts - ive not bought any since 2019

 

[Amelia99]

I totally agree, if I see something in the supermarket like a shower gel and it’s like 90p I’m like wow that’s cheap! And I’ll get it anyway, without thinking I have 12 at home

But do you have a cut off point? For eg how many shower gels would you have at home before you would decide not to buy another. I operate with one and a spare. I will have one shower gel in use and a spare in the bathroom cupboard. When the spare becomes the one in use then I buy another.

 

[Flowergirl14]

I wonder what makes people hoarders.
I am just watching a hoarder programme from Channel 5.
It makes me want to clear my house out.

I am a terrible hoarder of clothes and books.
I did do a clear out of books during the first lockdown, and took them to the local charity shop; once I was allowed to.

I watched Marie Kondo on Netflix last year, and it inspired me to clear out my bedroom wardrobe.
Bought lots of plastic boxes and sorted t-shirts, belts; etc into them.
Felt so much better after it.

However, my spare bedroom is full of junk and clothes.
I have clothes from size 8 to 20 in there, and tons of shoes.
My boxroom/office is the same.

I wonder if it is because I come from a very poor background, and so hate to throw things away.

Interested to hear anyone else's views.

Btw - I think I am in love with Brennan on the Hoarding show!

 

[Amelia99]

Proper hoarding is actually a psychiatric condition but I don’t think there is any particular reason for just collecting a lot of clutter. I’m the opposite to the extent that I’m a bit obsessive about not having any clutter. It might be upbringing I suppose. My Mum was extremely organised and tidy. But then often people do the opposite to how they were brought up. So who knows?

 

[1001 others]

I find watching Hoarders really sad ... there was an episode yesterday where the mother and daughter had fallen out and when the daughter returned with the therapist - her first visit back in 10 years - she was really nasty to her mother. Clearly she knew there was an issue there, but she tried to make it about herself. This poor woman (the hoarder) got really aggressive with everyone as she'd been using adult diapers - bags of new ones, as well as old dirty ones, were strewn all throughout the house - and they kept trying to get an answer from her as to why. She already felt great shame in having them there; I thought it was extremely inappropriate behaviour from all those who were tasked to help her.

I buy twos and threes of things if they're on special that way (e.g., 2 bottles of shower wash for $7, or 3 cans of beans for $5), but otherwise I tend to buy what I need. The exception to this though is cotton essentials - leggings, sleeveless tops and long-sleeve tops, which I wear to death. I usually buy several of those at the same time as they don't last particularly long and they're my go-to for casual clothes when lounging around at home as well as PJs.

My mother used to always save things "for best". These were things that never saw the light of day - be it towels, tablecloths, crockery ... such a waste. She's now starting to downsize her house and all this stuff is going to charity ... quite sad really, when she could have used it and enjoyed it over all those years. Ditto in the case of bedding - gorgeous, huge, woolen blankets that have never been used .... but aren't as popular these days. Someone will buy them and love them, but again it's sad that she never got to use and enjoy them. She also has a lot of fabrics (wardrobes full of the stuff) that she is intending on making things with one day ... well, they've been there for over 40 years, so I guess that day isn't coming anytime soon. I keep telling her to throw them out - in doing so, she will feel lighter and the house will definitely feel cleaner - but the psychological attachment to those is strong.

 

[Trixabellee9393]

I’m the other end I’m absolutely ruthless with my possessions I clear my room and stuff out at least every six or seven weeks and get a big black bin bag of stuff usually stupid things you’ve held on to for no reason etc. I won’t let my wardrobe get packed or even messy I have just the right amount of clothes so that it’s full but not packed or jammed. I don’t keep things for years unless there my absolute favourite. I only keep absolute essentials. I hate clutter it makes me so annoyed sometimes I wish I was less bothered but yep around the seven week mark I get that itch and just do a big clear out again! I go thru every drawer and look at everything an think do I need it really! I just don’t like it when a house is filled with silly things for no reason like hundreds of ornaments Like what’s the purpose of them haha! But each to their own! xxxx

 

[Causewaygal]

I’m definitely the other end of the spectrum as I have no desire to hold on to stuff. I’m not sentimental so unless it’s useful or particularly beautiful I’ve no desire to keep things.
My mother in law holds on to all sorts of junk and if anything is being given away free she will take it. When my husband moved out of his parents home I insisted he only took what he actually really wanted. He cleared out his wardrobes and bagged some clothes up for the charity shop. His mum said she’d drop them off but lo and behold they were hung back up in the wardrobe next time we visited
Occasionally I’ll buy multiples of the same item of clothing in different colours if it’s something I truly love but other than that I’m definitely a minimalist. I do have to reign my husband in from time to time though as he’s a bit too much like his mum for my liking

 

[Blowers]

My missus' wardrobe is crammed with clothes, boxes of shoes etc.
It's not extravagant purchases by any means, just items that have been kept through the years.
Maybe once a year she will try to sort her things, and give some items to charity shop, this usually takes a whole day, but usually they just get put back in the wardrobe.
Then often I'll hear "I've got nothing to wear"
There's nothing wrong with not being wasteful but I think getting rid/decluttering can be a good thing, mentally too.

 

[101268cd_]

For anyone interested in decluttering or simplifying their live’s I recommend ‘Courtney Carver’ or ‘The Minimalists’.

 

[Flowergirl14]

A lot of people have called me a hoarder. To be honest I’m not sure if I am one. So I do have a lot of shoes, clothes etc. But mostly I like to bulk buy/collect. I know I use mostly bath and body works shower gels, so when there’s a sale, I stock up. I have about 12 “back ups” because I have a fear of running out. Same for random things like hand sanitisers, makeup, hand soaps etc.

If something is a really good price and I don’t buy it, it’ll play on my mind all day.

I read somewhere that hoarding is when you collect things that have no purpose or are meaningless. The things I collect or ‘hoard’ I know I will use (eventually, very slowly), but in the meantime, it takes up a lot of space.

Yes, I agree. Things I buy are not expensive and are things I will use.
I wish supermarkets would stop their BOGOF deals.
Over Easter I am off work, so planning to fill a few binbags for the charity shop. Anyone know when they open?

 

[Scorpihoe]

A lot of people have called me a hoarder. To be honest I’m not sure if I am one. So I do have a lot of shoes, clothes etc. But mostly I like to bulk buy/collect. I know I use mostly bath and body works shower gels, so when there’s a sale, I stock up. I have about 12 “back ups” because I have a fear of running out. Same for random things like hand sanitisers, makeup, hand soaps etc.

If something is a really good price and I don’t buy it, it’ll play on my mind all day.

I read somewhere that hoarding is when you collect things that have no purpose or are meaningless. The things I collect or ‘hoard’ I know I will use (eventually, very slowly), but in the meantime, it takes up a lot of space.

 

[MyLittlePony25]

I did study a little on hoarders years ago for my anthrozoology and personal psychology module at university. Hoarding is a psychiatric condition, so animal hoarders gain an emotional attachment to their animals and hoarders of inanimate objects have an emotional attachment to those objects. My stepdads mother is a hoarder. Think of things stacked up from floor to ceiling in every room with only a corridor free to make it from room to room. We cleared it out a number of times but she just went straight back to it. There was nowhere to sit, she smells horrendous and yet we cannot get her to get help.

I have friends who like clutter, they buy things they don’t need and don’t throw things away. I used to be messy, probably rebelling against my mum who is a proper clean freak.

and well, it rubbed off on me because I cannot stand junk now. I have clear outs regularly and it’s so much easier to clean.

some people buy things because they are on offer to stock up or won’t throw things away because they will ‘recycle and reuse’ but never do. My friends husband is like it and she has to get rid of things without him noticing, which she manages to do a lot of the time

 

[Kim Mild]

I think proper extreme hoarding like on programmes like that is rare but lots of people have hoarding tendencies and keep everything.

We have a lot of stuff in our family/ house and I'm trying to be more minimal. A lot of the times we need stuff , but can't find it anyway and end up needing to buy another.


Having to clear my parents house after their death has changed my mindset. Most of the things people hoard has no value to anyone , and someone else would just chuck it away. I think that's a burden to place on someone, both to make the decision to do so, and to actually have to do it .

 

[rivermonster]

My OH drives me nuts, he has boxes of paper, paid bills and receipts from years ago (the items have probably worn out and gone by now). Yesterday he appeared with 2 old VHS recorders from the loft and if they sit on my living room floor for much longer I will put them in the bin. When we moved into this house 4 years ago he had the middle bedroom which he made into an office and to be honest it is a tip, full of boxes of junk which will never see light of day again and if he wants to do any paperwork everything goes onto my work station in the kitchen and will stay there until I shout and rant and rave about it and threaten to bin the lot. I have never been in the loft and dare not look to be honest.
I want it all gone as I don't want my son to have to sort it out but not idea how to get him to sort it.

 

[Scorpihoe]

I do that!! My boyfriend used to laugh at me because we had about 10 tubes of toothpaste as what I call "stock" as I too have a fear of running out. Toilet paper we will always have a pack of 9 spare in the cupboard. It wasn't so funny when he needed that in a pinch . If we don't have any stock of stuff I get really anxious and have to replace it.

For me, I know this comes from being poor and learning from my dad as a kid because he does the same. When I visit he let's me do "shopping" and take some of the excess cleaning products, a few tins and bags of pasta.

It is very useful though, whenever you need something you know you always have it. But the worst thing is I always need a solid backup. I can’t work through the whole stash and then replenish, I need to keep stocking as I use it up, does that make sense?

Just so I have a healthy stock at all times lol. They weren’t laughing about the stock of toilet paper when everyone was rushing to buy it in the pandemic were they?!

 

[Sally1993]

We have a couple of rules -

1. if clothes don’t fit, throw/donate
2. If you haven’t needed the object within the last few months, get rid
3. If you forgot you had it, definitely get rid!

 

[1001 others]

I do stockpile things that I know we will definitely use, especially if they're on special - handwash, shower gel, dishwashing tablets and liquid, toilet rolls, toothpaste cleaning products, long-life lactose-free milk ... and gluten-free things because for some odd reason the supermarkets near me only seem to restock their GF selections monthly. I don't go crazy - I have an extra shelf in a cupboard that is for "extras" of things; I don't buy anything else until that starts to look empty.

I was cleaning out my pantry earlier and found some never-opened things I don't think we'll ever use (beef stock, some GF bread mix that doesn't look appealing, some GF cookies that I bought several boxes off but didn't taste very nice [my Labrador and Golden Retriever wouldn't even eat them]), so I've bagged those up and will drop them off to the food bank for someone else to enjoy.

Last week I bought some new work shirts and pants and suddenly realised I might need to buy some more coathangers as I had none spare. Then it occurred to me that I should go through my entire wardrobe and list for sale anything I don't wear anymore. I was surprised at how much met that brief! I spent last night listing it all, and have already had a few bids on things. Yay, win-win.

 

[Amelia99]

In terms of keeping things for sentimental reasons, I have what I call a memory box. It’s an old picnic basket and in it I have favourite old photos, some small things belonging to my late parents and other bits and pieces that remind me of special times. I hardly ever look in it but I know it’s there and that’s comforting. I don’t hang on to anything big like clothes and furniture for sentimental reasons.

 

[Scorpihoe]

But do you have a cut off point? For eg how many shower gels would you have at home before you would decide not to buy another. I operate with one and a spare. I will have one shower gel in use and a spare in the bathroom cupboard. When the spare becomes the one in use then I buy another.

This is my cut off point now, I haven’t bought any in a month or so, but I still get gifted them because people know I hoard them so my cut off point is 12 (not including the ones in using now), I use about 3 at the same time because I like mixing smells lol