They are hard work! Even as the bride I found it difficult because I could see that trying to please everyone AND make it something I would love was really starting to stress out my MOH.
I did a trip away but only with my closest friends (all bridesmaids and one friendship group, so fairly easy to sort and it just replaced our girls holiday that year). I also did it 9 months ahead of my destination wedding because doing it too close meant so much more to pay for. They covered my costs but I made sure I snuck off and paid as many bar/restaurant bills as I could whilst there. I did do a night out in London to include everyone else too but I don’t “think” it was difficult and there was no pressure to attend, I made a point of telling everyone that and asked my MO to reiterate. I told her to decide and then it was just a yes/no, asking for opinions or suggestions or “what do people think of this” and costing out 57 different options just gets far too much.
It’s just the badly organised ones I dislike, or where people have forgotten the dead obvious elements such as transport. I did one a few years ago that had a cocktail class first thing, then a food class which really lowered the tempo, then we hung out at someone’s flat for ages and then went out to a set menu dinner in a really odd choice of restaurant. All different areas of London and nobody had thought about transport so one minute we’re getting a tube then people decided to get a taxi, then we lost people, it was just so unorganised and really killed the vibe. We’d also paid for “goodie bags” on top of the activities which I’m pretty sure only stocked the MOHs drinks cabinet, we got a miniature spirit and a straw each and that was it for £25!