Help for (potential) depression through the NHS

[runforitmarty]

Hey all, please be aware that there's brief mentions of self harm and suicide (hope that's allowed just to provide context to everything) so if you're triggered by that please don't read on!

I've been battling suicidal thoughts and tendencies for the past 10 years or so (I'm 24) and my boyfriend thinks I need to get professional help. I'm pretty reluctant just because I don't know how it would really help but it's probably time to get down to the bottom of it and at least try and sort my head out.

I don't get on with my family much, I'm currently away from my boyfriend because of lockdown, and because of my family and being home for Christmas I haven't been able to return to my uni flat where I would be so much happier. This past month has been horrible, leading me to hurt myself the worst I ever had.

I just need to tackle things head on but obviously I'm scared and would love some advice on what the process of getting help through the NHS is like. Any responses would be so, so appreciated

 

[gliblyglobbo]

Hi there, I'm so sorry you've gone through all this. I'm 23 and have a very similar story to you. Obviously I'm not an expert but I can share my personal experiences because I recently started medication for anxiety/depression/OCD and it was a very long time coming.

For me, I sort of reached breaking point several times last year before finally making a doctors appointment in September and had a telephone consultation. The idea of it was really scary and I'm terrible at phone calls because of my anxiety so even though it was difficult I wrote down everything I could think of on a piece of paper that constituted my symptoms. Having a good doctor who you feel you can talk openly with is really important and luckily I was given a lovely GP who was very understanding.

So basically when I had the phone appointment (which I had to be up at 8am for etc since everything is a bit topsy turvy at the moment), I basically said I had written everything down and read it out to her. The GP will ask a certain set of questions, whether you have harmed yourself or been suicidal recently etc and it is best to be completely honest about this because after all they're not there to judge you and it is best for the treatment options that you are honest, even though I and many others find that difficult especially when I've been struggling for a long time.

The first step for me was to be referred to an online counselling service for young people - depending on where you are this may or may not be available. I'm in London and had a three week waiting time and then had six weeks of counselling from November through to December which can be helpful in certain cases.

The doctor also made a follow up appointment with me for the three weeks after the initial appointment and thankfully she suggested that I start on medication so I didn't have to tentatively mention it myself. I've been taking antidepressants for a few months now and it took about six weeks for them to start working but now I'm definitely a lot better than I was in terms of mood. Things aren't completely smoothed out, but it does take the edge off and the bad days aren't quite so bad.

Hopefully this helps and if you have any other questions then I can try to help, though obviously I'm not quite so familiar with the system as other people. Also, I just want to say that it's very brave and takes a lot of effort and courage to come to terms with your mental health and any potential issues, so well done for reaching out

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Hi. I’m so sorry you’ve felt like this and I hope you find some peace soon.

for me I’ve had very bad anxiety and depression now for around 6/7 years, I’ve self harmed since a teenager and I don’t really think there’s been a trigger as such just went through a lot, losing my sister, abusive relationships, turning to drink and drugs to try and make myself feel better.

it all came to a head a few years ago when I tried to end my life, I think that’s when the penny dropped that I needed help even though my mum had been telling me for a long time that I needed help.

this was years ago so I know things are diff now with lockdown etc but at the time I made appt with my GP and we discussed how I was feeling, I was put on some medication I was placed on a waiting list to see a counsellor through the GP, I was referred to the mental health hub and 6 weeks later had my first counselling session. The sessions through my doctor lasted 6 weeks and honestly the only thing that’s ever really worked for me. I still see a counsellor regularly which I really do owe my life too.

you’ve made the first step already which is huge, in admitting you know you want to try and get some help. I know it can be scary. I was literally screaming in the street to my mum that I wasn’t going into the doctors but I’m so glad I did.

the thing with mental health, depression, anxiety etc is that there’s no quick fix. You can’t flip a light switch and just be “ok”... but every little step you make is one in the right direction. Medication will work for some, counselling will work for others but you’ll figure out what is best for you. Contact your GP and get an appt, it’ll probably be a phone consultation, not sure how it works where you are, I know where I am it’s phone consultations but your GP will go through everything with you.

here where I am in NI we have a local helpline called lifeline which I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve used in the past too as a quick fix, Samaritans are great too, they were a great help to me and helped me when I felt really low and in a dark place.

take care and if you ever want to DM me please do... but good luck OP and stay strong xo

 

[Pinkblush]

So sorry to hear this. All I know on the matter regarding emergency MH services (having worked in the past for a nhs trust) each nhs trust should have crisis resolution home treatment team (CHRT). If a person walks into A&E saying they felt suicidal they involve this team and they have emergency on call too. There after they would be assessed either for sectioning - at risk from harm to themselves or referred to liaison psychiatric service. This service usually decides on what your need is. Therapy, counselling etc.
Or maybe your GP surgery would be able to offer advice - ask for a go callback appointment.
I do wish you all the very best x

 

[Blonde123]

Hey all, please be aware that there's brief mentions of self harm and suicide (hope that's allowed just to provide context to everything) so if you're triggered by that please don't read on!

I've been battling suicidal thoughts and tendencies for the past 10 years or so (I'm 24) and my boyfriend thinks I need to get professional help. I'm pretty reluctant just because I don't know how it would really help but it's probably time to get down to the bottom of it and at least try and sort my head out.

I don't get on with my family much, I'm currently away from my boyfriend because of lockdown, and because of my family and being home for Christmas I haven't been able to return to my uni flat where I would be so much happier. This past month has been horrible, leading me to hurt myself the worst I ever had.

I just need to tackle things head on but obviously I'm scared and would love some advice on what the process of getting help through the NHS is like. Any responses would be so, so appreciated

So brave of you to share lovely. Please keep going and contact your doctor. If you don’t hear back from them quickly please also consider ringing the Samaritans who will listen and advise you if you want them to. You aren’t alone, remember that. Sending you love and support x

 

[TheWitchIsBack]

I’m so sorry to read you’re feeling like this and you’ve already been brave admitting you need some support. Every NHS trust will be different with regards to their processes and timescales however reaching out to your GP in the first instance should start the ball rolling in getting you support from the appropriate mental health team.

I can’t give you a definitive answer on what the exact process will look like for you, I can only speak from my own experience, and I am beyond grateful for the NHS and the psychiatric and community based mental health support I received, as they quite literally saved my life.

I went to my GP in the first instance, I was then referred to a community mental health nurse for an initial consultation within four weeks and then began twice weekly face to face appointments with a psychiatric nurse. I received CBT initially, then EMDR. My mental health declined further during my sessions and I was given additional supports within the community as they could recognise I was at risk of being a danger to myself. I spent over a year receiving treatment and was then discharged however after about two years of feeling “well” I had something happen in my life and I started to be a risk again. My GP referred me back in and I was offered further support. The waiting times aren’t ideal, especially when someone has suicidal thoughts and is in some sort of decline, however the treatment I received was excellent and I wouldn’t be alive to day without it.

I truly hope you get the help and support you need, I have been in a place where hope was completely gone and I am so glad I got help and worked through it as my life is very different now. Take care and look after yourself.

 

[runforitmarty]

Wow, thank you all so much for your kind words and support

I've always been quite wary of counselling since an odd experience when I was in school - I was seeing the school nurse every week to talk out my problems after being encouraged to do so by a friend, but the nurse was one of my close friends' (and admittedly my crush lol) mum so I felt awkward talking to her even though everything stays private, in the end I just ended up telling her I was doing better to get her off my case and stop seeing her. She also said that because I thought I had depression, that meant that I didn't which doesn't quite add up? So it put me off getting help because I didn't think things were "that bad".

Basically I'm terrified about therapy and counselling. Just reading your responses, is it more likely that they'll try therapy first before medication? Obviously I guess it's different for each person but it seems like maybe they're more likely to go down that route first?

 

[gliblyglobbo]

Wow, thank you all so much for your kind words and support

I've always been quite wary of counselling since an odd experience when I was in school - I was seeing the school nurse every week to talk out my problems after being encouraged to do so by a friend, but the nurse was one of my close friends' (and admittedly my crush lol) mum so I felt awkward talking to her even though everything stays private, in the end I just ended up telling her I was doing better to get her off my case and stop seeing her. She also said that because I thought I had depression, that meant that I didn't which doesn't quite add up? So it put me off getting help because I didn't think things were "that bad".

Basically I'm terrified about therapy and counselling. Just reading your responses, is it more likely that they'll try therapy first before medication? Obviously I guess it's different for each person but it seems like maybe they're more likely to go down that route first?

That was definitely the case for me and I was also really apprehensive about it. It sort of varies but I think most people I know, myself included, were recommended the self-referral counselling etc before medication but ofc I can't speak for others too much.

Also, I love your username

 

[Sunflower91]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this I have ongoing therapy for depression, anxiety and self harm. I tried the NHS route and have to say my GP was so lovely. Really patient and understanding, not judgemental even around the topic of self harm. He put me on medication but also gave me resources to access therapy through the NHS. I had to fill in a questionnaire about how I was feeling- it’s really important to be as honest as you can with it too- some of the questions I found difficult to be honest about because I was scared I’d be institutionalised (I wasn’t).
The only problem I had was the wait time. And in the ended I took an option that is part funded by the NHS. I’m not sure if every area does it but it’s meant that I’ve had a therapist without a time limit/ pressure and been able to develop a rapport with someone to get to the root of the problem.

 

[runforitmarty]

Sorry it's taken me a few days to respond but thank you again for your comments and advice, I appreciate them so much and hope you're all doing well

Luckily I feel secure in myself to know I'm not going to make an attempt on my life (self harm is another question though) so I don't mind waiting on the NHS as long as I know I'm making some sort of progress I guess.

As soon as I get back to my flat and can speak a bit more freely I'll make the call. Hopefully I can switch GPs as ours is a family doctor of the same race/religion which would make it uncomfortable for me to talk to him about my issues and I'll get lucky enough to find someone that actually listens

 

[gliblyglobbo]

Good luck with everything

 

[Saddlesoap]

I couldn't read and run.

I wasn't clear on why you can't go back to your uni flat? If it's to do with lockdown, forget about that and go back. Your mental health is too important.

For me, going onto antidepressants was the best thing I ever did. I put it off for so long and regret it, although my MH wasn't as bad as yours sounds.

The doctors will want you to try some sort of therapy, but ask if you can start medication as well (be aware starting meds can be quite rough going).

https://giveusashout.org/ this is a text service for mental health support. I have an acquaintance who used it and preferred it to talking to someone.

Take care.

 

[Bellaboo83]

I was just going to say the same... forget about lockdown and go back to your flat. I had a very low time during the first strict lock down. I travelled 100 miles to stay with my mum, I had to do it for my mental health. You are allowed to do this!.. You are allowed to remove yourself from situations that are causing you harm and go to live elsewhere.

 

[runforitmarty]

It's a bit complicated being at home because my family are quite over bearing - I was planning to go back at the beginning of January but I was basically guilt tripped into staying at home and now I feel quite stuck here. It's not as easy as me jumping on a train to go back or taking the family car, but hopefully I'm going to try and go back next weekend and say I've got to use the library. Also my flatmate was isolating for COVID for a while so I couldn't have gone back then either unfortunately. As soon as I'm back though I'm sure I'll be feeling a lot better and I'll have the courage to make the call.

Anyway I should probably just let this thread die out and be deleted but thank you all so much for your advice and insights, I really truly appreciate it and hope you're all doing well

 

[MrsDoyle’sScones]

Hey all, please be aware that there's brief mentions of self harm and suicide (hope that's allowed just to provide context to everything) so if you're triggered by that please don't read on!

I've been battling suicidal thoughts and tendencies for the past 10 years or so (I'm 24) and my boyfriend thinks I need to get professional help. I'm pretty reluctant just because I don't know how it would really help but it's probably time to get down to the bottom of it and at least try and sort my head out.

I don't get on with my family much, I'm currently away from my boyfriend because of lockdown, and because of my family and being home for Christmas I haven't been able to return to my uni flat where I would be so much happier. This past month has been horrible, leading me to hurt myself the worst I ever had.

I just need to tackle things head on but obviously I'm scared and would love some advice on what the process of getting help through the NHS is like. Any responses would be so, so appreciated

I think Christmas can bring about a surge of emotions because it’s supposed to be a happy, fun and jolly time, so why is it that you feel this way, right? I think that in itself can make us feel a little alien. On top of that, you’re not in the environment where you feel “safe” and are dealing with external stressors, which seem to be your parents/family, and time away from your friends.

It’s really important to know that you aren’t defective, nor are you a burden and how you feel is completely valid. Sometimes because you can articulate your feelings and issues, you’re told you’re not depressed “enough”, and that’s a huge problem - this is especially true with children/adolescent providers.

With the NHS, they tend to focus on CBT. They use this type of therapy because it’s the most cost effective/did well in randomised control trials. I’m sure you know this but CBT changes your negative thought patterns into a more productive way of thinking, or can stop an unwanted behaviour. Is this something you feel would benefit you?

Do you feel your self-harm stems from a deep rooted unhappiness, or trauma that’s happened in your childhood? You don’t need to reply to these questions (obviously ) since they’re very personal. It’s so so so important to get to the root of it all and find the right type of therapy because sometimes (and this is my personal opinion) CBT slaps a plaster over it, and doesn’t really get into the nitty gritty.

I think CBT is a fantastic first step, because it’s especially going to hone in on eradicating the need to self harm, and that’s important. If you for any reason feel it wasn’t effective, then ask for therapists who deal with integrative therapies - that is, a range of different tools to help, rather than just one. It’s possible you won’t get these on the NHS and might need to look further afield for this.

I wish you so much luck, and well done on being your own advocate for your mental health.

 

[runforitmarty]

I think Christmas can bring about a surge of emotions because it’s supposed to be a happy, fun and jolly time, so why is it that you feel this way, right? I think that in itself can make us feel a little alien. On top of that, you’re not in the environment where you feel “safe” and are dealing with external stressors, which seem to be your parents/family, and time away from your friends.

It’s really important to know that you aren’t defective, nor are you a burden and how you feel is completely valid. Sometimes because you can articulate your feelings and issues, you’re told you’re not depressed “enough”, and that’s a huge problem - this is especially true with children/adolescent providers.

With the NHS, they tend to focus on CBT. They use this type of therapy because it’s the most cost effective/did well in randomised control trials. I’m sure you know this but CBT changes your negative thought patterns into a more productive way of thinking, or can stop an unwanted behaviour. Is this something you feel would benefit you?

Do you feel your self-harm stems from a deep rooted unhappiness, or trauma that’s happened in your childhood? You don’t need to reply to these questions (obviously ) since they’re very personal. It’s so so so important to get to the root of it all and find the right type of therapy because sometimes (and this is my personal opinion) CBT slaps a plaster over it, and doesn’t really get into the nitty gritty.

I think CBT is a fantastic first step, because it’s especially going to hone in on eradicating the need to self harm, and that’s important. If you for any reason feel it wasn’t effective, then ask for therapists who deal with integrative therapies - that is, a range of different tools to help, rather than just one. It’s possible you won’t get these on the NHS and might need to look further afield for this.

I wish you so much luck, and well done on being your own advocate for your mental health.

To be honest the thought of CBT has always scared me because I've always sort of seen it as a type of hypnosis which might be completely wrong but my boyfriend has said that CBT helped him with his anxiety and might help me too, along with suggesting I go on medication. At first I really just wanted some anti-depressants but now I'm scared of that too.

I think my 'depression' (trying not to self diagnose) comes from my circumstances and family problems, and now every time something bad or difficult happens I just seem to sink back into it. Like the past week and a half I've been okay, but today and yesterday really sucked, mostly because of stress, but I just felt empty.

Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to respond

 

[Millyve]

They best thing I ever did was go to the doctors and get help, I got put on antidepressants and they helped massively, yes I did have a slight blip when I stopped taking them but got back to the doctors was referred to mental health clinic and got into the gym. I’m now off them and have been for 18 months and figured exercise is my best form of medicine, I’m sure I am still not completely out of the woods but the best advice I can say is get to the doctors and get professional help, please don’t be put off by the stigma of being on antidepressants they are there to help you Xx