Helen Anderson #11 What be covid? I don’t that in my space

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I’m imagining her and Phil covering their stomachs in it and laying on top of each other in bed, slipping around each other’s bodies without actual sexual activity and dead eyes. Like a sealion jelly wrestling match. But even less sexual.
 
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I’m imagining her and Phil covering their stomachs in it and laying on top of each other in bed, slipping around each other’s bodies without actual sexual activity and dead eyes. Like a sealion jelly wrestling match. But even less sexual.

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"Yer avin fun FillyB? Are yeh? How are yer? You okay? How was yer day? Did yer take the bins out? Why aren't yer smilin back at me? Smile FIL! Smile!"

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As soon as it's over: "please Jelly Belly, can I go now?"

Helga grabs his arm... Oh god it ain't over....

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I’m imagining her and Phil covering their stomachs in it and laying on top of each other in bed, slipping around each other’s bodies without actual sexual activity and dead eyes. Like a sealion jelly wrestling match. But even less sexual.
That mental image I fear may never leave me 😳.
 
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She has good skin? Mine must be the skin of a baby then because GIRL.....you're the bleeping breakout princess.

You wore more makeup last year than I've worn in my lifetime ya liar. That's why your skin is so bad (psssst it's also your crappy diet and alcoholism)
 
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Incredibly low bar for a content creator but I liked Helen's last IG, nice to see some effort put into it (even if the actual advice she's giving smells like bullshit lmao). Wasn't a big fan of her outfit but I really liked the way it was edited and shot and it's nice to see a long caption with thought put into it. Can't pinpoint exactly what but something about her content seems better this week and I do hope this change persists.

Also, Helen describing lavender and oat/oak as a 'mature and sexy' scent is hilarious to me for some reason.
 
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Why does it come off like she only thinks we've only had one lockdown in 2020 and that was the one in March?

Did she forget that there was actually a second lockdown in November? (What am I saying? Of course she did she spent most of it going out and mixing with her mates)

I wish we could also think of 2020 as one lovely long summer 🙄 but the majority of us were still isolating while she was on her 5th holiday. What a bleeping idiot.

"I didn't really wear make up in 2020"

*Quickly checks a couple of past thread pictures*

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Incredibly low bar for a content creator but I liked Helen's last IG, nice to see some effort put into it (even if the actual advice she's giving smells like bullshit lmao). Wasn't a big fan of her outfit but I really liked the way it was edited and shot and it's nice to see a long caption with thought put into it. Can't pinpoint exactly what but something about her content seems better this week and I do hope this change persists.

Also, Helen describing lavender and oat/oak as a 'mature and sexy' scent is hilarious to me for some reason.
Lavender always reminds me of old ladies. Apologies lavender fans 🙊.
 
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I’m so thankful someone else asked this, I felt so dumb wondering. I’ve googled it 3 times.
Does she mean with sex toys like bullets and those suction things? That’s the only way I can think of using lube in that way, unless she doesn’t realise how to actually use lube and thinks that people squirt it inside of them.
 
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The duck is this shite? Is her and Fil's new year's resolution to bore people to death with their long ass captions?

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Bit elaborate for someone only posting to advertise their ASOS coat and new Homer Simpson muumuu...
So her chronically bad spelling and grammar has magically been cured for this post orrrr

Also i think when she's saying lube externally she means for clitoral stimulation. (Was going to try and think of a more subtle way of saying that but gave up)
 
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Does she mean with sex toys like bullets and those suction things? That’s the only way I can think of using lube in that way, unless she doesn’t realise how to actually use lube and thinks that people squirt it inside of them.
Ah yes that does make more sense! It’s just such an odd thing to specify considering it’s completely safe for “internal” use.
 
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Brilliant as always @Lunamoon22 😘.
Not to ruin the moment however but why would you need to use lube externally?
That's somewhat thrown me too - I mean (speaking heteronormatively), she might be referring to only using it on the, ah, male appendage, but that will likely then become internal use pretty sharpish?
 
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