I’ve broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years as I realised I’ve fallen out of love with him and was deeply unhappy. I’m relieved with my decision and feel like a weight has been lifted, but I feel sick with guilt because he’s so upset. There’s nothing he could do to change my mind, but I just feel so horrible knowing I’ve hurt him. Has anyone else been through similar?
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sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. It's really upsetting when you have to hurt someone but it shows that you are a lovely person. Ultimately, you've had to do what's best for you. As much as it hurts him, in the long run you've done him a favour as there is someone out there who will love him in the way that you don't just like there is someone out there for you who you will love.
I heard once that being heartbroken means you loved someone who wasn't right but imagine what it'll be like when you love the person who is right. It'll hurt him now but in the long run, it'll be better for the both of you. At the end of the day, life isn't a dress rehearsal. You've got to give everything a fair whack and be as happy and content as you can
I heard once that being heartbroken means you loved someone who wasn't right but imagine what it'll be like when you love the person who is right. It'll hurt him now but in the long run, it'll be better for the both of you. At the end of the day, life isn't a dress rehearsal. You've got to give everything a fair whack and be as happy and content as you can
It’s completely normal to feel some level of discomfort with how he will be feeling, but you did the right thing. The relationship wasn’t working and that’s just the way it is. In time he will be able to move on to a new relationship that will be better and with someone more suited to him. It’s just life! You can’t allow his hurt to become your baggage. You’ve made it clear that the relationship is over so best now to draw a line under it and leave him to lick his wounds and move on.
This is so relevant to my life right now. I have also been with my boyfriend for 4 years and me ending things is imminent. I'm not breaking up with him because I've fallen out of love with him, it's for other reasons out of my control. I already feel overwhelming guilt and it hasn't even happened yet. I know how heartbroken he will be because I'm going to turn his life upside down and I'm honestly terrified of the aftermath. My stomach is in knots so I can understand why you're feeling this way. It's great that you have been so honest about your feelings and not remained in a situation that doesn't fulfil you anymore and with time he will appreciate that you didn't mislead him.
I can say one thing with absolute certainty. You will both heal. You're not alone
@dancingqueen5678 and @BettyCrockerr thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate your words and you’re both so right
@krillernew I’m so so sorry to hear that you’re going through it too. I know this is all an anonymous forum but we’ve bonded over some great things on here, so I truly hope you’re okay and if you ever need someone to anonymously rant to I am always happy to listen
@krillernew I’m so so sorry to hear that you’re going through it too. I know this is all an anonymous forum but we’ve bonded over some great things on here, so I truly hope you’re okay and if you ever need someone to anonymously rant to I am always happy to listen
We sure have had some great laughs together. I hope things get easier for you soon and I’m certain they will. Thank you so much! I’ll probably need it after the war I’ll be going through. Please reach out if and whenever you need. I really mean that, I’d love to lend an ear@krillernew I’m so so sorry to hear that you’re going through it too. I know this is all an anonymous forum but we’ve bonded over some great things on here, so I truly hope you’re okay and if you ever need someone to anonymously rant to I am always happy to listen
Yes. It's normal to feel guilty. In the end your happiness is more important than his. You've gave him a chance to be free to find someone else that is meant for him and that's a good thing to come from it.
You shouldn’t feel guilty for ending it and for him being upset. After 4 years you made the very brave decision to end the relationship because you wasn’t happy. You only get one life and you should be in a happy relationship.
I split with my ex over 4 years ago after nearly 4 years and a 3 year old together. I wasn’t living my life just existing in a cycle of abuse and even though it was my decision I admit I struggled a lot and was made to feel guilty.
How you feel is normal and shows that you are caring person with feelings and emotions. Time will heal how you feel as you accept the changes to your life.
I split with my ex over 4 years ago after nearly 4 years and a 3 year old together. I wasn’t living my life just existing in a cycle of abuse and even though it was my decision I admit I struggled a lot and was made to feel guilty.
How you feel is normal and shows that you are caring person with feelings and emotions. Time will heal how you feel as you accept the changes to your life.
I broke up with my ex of 4 years for reasons out of my control almost 3 years ago. I loved him and wanted to be with him but couldn't due to various reasons. I broke his heart and I saw him sobbing which was horrible. I'd never seen him cry before. I felt horrible for months. But, he's moved on and happy. I've moved on and am happy. It will pass and you definitely should not stay with someone out of guilt as it's not fair on them.
At the end of the day, life keeps going on and people do move forward.
At the end of the day, life keeps going on and people do move forward.
Just checking in on you @ot55. I hope you're okay and that you're in the process of healing
Thank you for checking in, that’s really sweetJust checking in on you @ot55. I hope you're okay and that you're in the process of healing
We ended up meeting for a chat and he basically showed me messages from him trying to flirt with girls during the past year (I had suspicions tbh) and he then claimed he never loved me (although I think he was just trying to stick the knife in). But safe to say it’s taken away the guilt 🥲but still in the process of healing. We were in the middle of buying a house together so it’s all a bit messy haha
how are things going for you? I hope you’re okay
I'm so sorry you had to find that information out now 
It seems like he was just trying to hurt your feelings which is so disgraceful and immature. Also, he wouldn't have been so torn up about you leaving him had he not loved you, so that part just seems like a facade. They say there's always a silver lining and it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Sending you all the love in your healing process
Thank you for asking about me. I haven’t been able to find the strength to end it which is only adding to the guilt because I feel like I’m being disingenuous. It's difficult to go to work and pretend like things are fine and not burst into tears or choke up. I guess I’m just trying to find the words to say it, but I already feel heartbroken. I suppose it’s just one of those things that take time...
It seems like he was just trying to hurt your feelings which is so disgraceful and immature. Also, he wouldn't have been so torn up about you leaving him had he not loved you, so that part just seems like a facade. They say there's always a silver lining and it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Sending you all the love in your healing process Thank you for asking about me. I haven’t been able to find the strength to end it which is only adding to the guilt because I feel like I’m being disingenuous. It's difficult to go to work and pretend like things are fine and not burst into tears or choke up. I guess I’m just trying to find the words to say it, but I already feel heartbroken. I suppose it’s just one of those things that take time...