Getting back with an ex - can it ever work?

[Catnmouse]

I'm in your situation now (without a child though, that must be so hard.) Mine is a very very recent breakup but the reasons we have broken up are the same as all the other times as we want different things out of a relationship. I am absolutely devastated but I know we can't ever make it work now, and believe me I have tried every which way but it wasn't making me happy. I'm so so sorry for what you're going through, it really is hard and I don't really have any good words of comfort yet because I'm still navigating the pain myself, but you are not alone. Tattle has been a lifeline for me in the past.

 

[LavaFlake]

My parents broke up for a year before I was born and they got married. My Dad was apparently quite arrogant and afraid of committment but the time apart did him good and let him reevaluate what was important. They've now been together for over three decades and genuinely have a great relationship. I think because they resolved issues that broke them up it worked.

 

[Dollenganger]

Thanks for your replies. I find it quite hard to move on, mainly because of our little girl. My instinct is that it probably won’t work. Unfortunately, the attraction we have seems to blur the boundaries.

 

[reCAPTCHA]

Nope.

 

[rainbow_venom]

It worked for me.

I had been with my partner for three years when we broke up. I was heartbroken at the time but I think breaking up was the best thing that could have happened for us because when I look back we both learnt so much from it. Fast forward and we are closer than ever.

 

[rainbowlemon]

Yes I think it can if you can both grow and change in the meantime If there was no cheating involved. You would need to work on the reasons you called it quits before. Maybe get support from a couple's therapist.

 

[Megansnarkle]

I think like you say it depends if the reason for you breaking up has changed. I'd be really wary about trying it if you have a kid together though, it sounds like a total headfuck for them.

 

[Dollenganger]

My ex and I have been apart for 2 and a half years. The covid situation split us up. We have a child together. I feel like if it will ever work, something about how we were together before will need to have changed.

Is it very unusual to be able to make things work when they didn’t before?

 

[Kim Mild]

You would both have to accept You may have been 'wrong ' and contributed to the demise of the relationship.

If time has passed , you need to accept you might both be different to how you were back then.