Lost my brother in 2015 to a gambling addiction that crippled every corner of his life and led to suicide. He was 26 and had slipped into gambling at 17. I don’t think people realise how serious gambling addictions are and I think the UK needs to put more legislation in to protect people from gambling companies, especially in sport where young kids are regularly interacting.
- Notice
princessmaire80
VIP Member
My brother is a gambling addict.
A few years back he defrauded my parents out of thousands of pounds. He took out loans, credit cards, mobile phones in their names and would sell the phones and not pay the bill.
I helped mum deal with them, she got a lot of them written off but some refused and the last one has just dropped off her credit file. Her credit file is now perfect again and she’s got a couple of good prime credit cards, I monitor her file carefully but there’s still been some problems with brother stealing money from her.
Brother has same name as late dad and so that made it easier for him to defraud. His addiction was slots and casino and so for that reason I’ve always vowed I would never touch either.
I do like a game of bingo and I’ve won an awful lot of money on bingo- it paid for my honeymoon. I usually only go though when I either get a free or cheap offer from my bingo club and if I’m lucky enough to win big I walk away and self exclude for at least a month (not formally, I just don’t go) I bet on the Grand National once a year (and even then it’s just a fiver) if the bingo closed tomorrow I wouldn’t really be bothered. I’ve seen the damage gambling addictions can do- it’s torn our family apart- and it’s just not worth it.
A few years back he defrauded my parents out of thousands of pounds. He took out loans, credit cards, mobile phones in their names and would sell the phones and not pay the bill.
I helped mum deal with them, she got a lot of them written off but some refused and the last one has just dropped off her credit file. Her credit file is now perfect again and she’s got a couple of good prime credit cards, I monitor her file carefully but there’s still been some problems with brother stealing money from her.
Brother has same name as late dad and so that made it easier for him to defraud. His addiction was slots and casino and so for that reason I’ve always vowed I would never touch either.
I do like a game of bingo and I’ve won an awful lot of money on bingo- it paid for my honeymoon. I usually only go though when I either get a free or cheap offer from my bingo club and if I’m lucky enough to win big I walk away and self exclude for at least a month (not formally, I just don’t go) I bet on the Grand National once a year (and even then it’s just a fiver) if the bingo closed tomorrow I wouldn’t really be bothered. I’ve seen the damage gambling addictions can do- it’s torn our family apart- and it’s just not worth it.
AllSeeingEye123
VIP Member
Not something I suffer from personally as I bet modestly. I have to say though it's a topic that is of interest to me. I think it's because I gamble myself and being "in to" the topic is a strong warning to be sensible and not go crazy. There is some brilliant books out there from brave sufferers who have told their story and it's not a surprise so many are part of sport, where you get so much downtime and need to find ways to fill your day. I have read Saved by Peter and Steph Shilton about the millions he's lost from gambling. Paul Merson book Hooked is another fascinating read about his addiction to having bet, resulting in his wife being in full control of finances and giving him pocket money. I am currently nearing the end of Mite Bite by Patrick Foster who was briefly a Cricket professional but didn't make it and is now five years clean.
I don't think the government do enough to help people and the white paper from them should have been released by now. William Hills were fined a record amount the other week for letting people lose silly sums in tiny lengths of time....
At school you're taught about so many things but not about keeping control of your finances and being sensible with money. You don't get warned about the risks of chasing losses and now it's even worse because kids gamble through buying stuff to play computer games. It's easy for people to hide their addiction too because of technology. Someone is always drunk? Alcoholic. Someone is always high? Drug addict. Someone is always gambling? How you know? It's easier to gamble on your phone and you're not seen daily in a bookies. I am sure millions of people know a sad story about someone who got caught in this horrible addiction.
I don't think the government do enough to help people and the white paper from them should have been released by now. William Hills were fined a record amount the other week for letting people lose silly sums in tiny lengths of time....
At school you're taught about so many things but not about keeping control of your finances and being sensible with money. You don't get warned about the risks of chasing losses and now it's even worse because kids gamble through buying stuff to play computer games. It's easy for people to hide their addiction too because of technology. Someone is always drunk? Alcoholic. Someone is always high? Drug addict. Someone is always gambling? How you know? It's easier to gamble on your phone and you're not seen daily in a bookies. I am sure millions of people know a sad story about someone who got caught in this horrible addiction.
amarantine
VIP Member
I’ve only just seen this thread and haven’t read through all the replies but felt I had to come in and make a post. Fair warning, it’ll be a long one!
My ex was (probably still is, tbf) a gambling addict. I think it’s probably been going on most of his adult life and he’ll be 40 next year. When we first met I remember him saying he’d had an ex before me who had left him with loads of debt, when you’re first getting to know someone you don’t question stuff like that. He’s probably told his new girlfriend (I say new, they’ve been together for a good three years now if they’re still together) the exact same about me.
It started really small with him just asking to borrow a tenner here and there, which, when you’re earning okay you sort of don’t question. Then asking if I could lend him money ‘just until payday’ - and he paid back every time, so you just sort of get on with it and think, well, fair enough.
Then it would be bigger and bigger amounts and acting as a guarantor for loans and things. At one point my parents and I helped him pay off lots of his debts by lending him money. Then it started again; slippery slope of bank loans then payday loans (all me because of his credit rating from his ‘ex’). I knew it was wrong but by that point I was scared if I ended the relationship I’d never get all the money back whereas if we were still together I’d at least have a chance.
It was another year of this before he finally admitted to having a gambling addiction. We told my family and his and spoke to Gamcare (they’re very good) and all seemed to be on the up, money was being paid back, no gambling was happening. Then, it started again. He just asked for “one more loan, it’ll be the last time” - obviously stupid me believed him still because it was going so well. And the slippery slope started again.
Finally broke up with him in 2022. My parents thankfully were in a position to help me pay off the debts which they then asked my ex to pay to them, which actually he only did under the threat of legal action. I had nothing to do with it as my parents had him pay them, but they told me on occasion he’d tried to pull his old excuses about not being able to pay that month, so sadly I think he’s still doing it.
It’s such a slippery slope and so much of sport advertising is gambling-related that no wonder people like my ex have a really hard time getting themselves out of gambling addiction. He really loves watching sport anyway, gambling or not, and if almost every ad you’re seeing on sports channels is gambling no wonder it feels impossible to get away from. If you do feel like you’re struggling with gambling please reach out and get help as it can be so destructive not just to your life but those around you too. Not here to judge, just to share my thoughts but open to people reaching out to talk about their own experiences if they want to - just feel it’s an addiction that’s not talked about nearly enough! My ex wasn’t (isn’t, I assume he’s not changed) a “bad” person but his addiction made him behave in “bad” ways - he was emotionally manipulative to get the money he felt he “needed” - it feels embarrassing to talk about how I let the situation spiral but also think awareness is so so important…
My ex was (probably still is, tbf) a gambling addict. I think it’s probably been going on most of his adult life and he’ll be 40 next year. When we first met I remember him saying he’d had an ex before me who had left him with loads of debt, when you’re first getting to know someone you don’t question stuff like that. He’s probably told his new girlfriend (I say new, they’ve been together for a good three years now if they’re still together) the exact same about me.
It started really small with him just asking to borrow a tenner here and there, which, when you’re earning okay you sort of don’t question. Then asking if I could lend him money ‘just until payday’ - and he paid back every time, so you just sort of get on with it and think, well, fair enough.
Then it would be bigger and bigger amounts and acting as a guarantor for loans and things. At one point my parents and I helped him pay off lots of his debts by lending him money. Then it started again; slippery slope of bank loans then payday loans (all me because of his credit rating from his ‘ex’). I knew it was wrong but by that point I was scared if I ended the relationship I’d never get all the money back whereas if we were still together I’d at least have a chance.
It was another year of this before he finally admitted to having a gambling addiction. We told my family and his and spoke to Gamcare (they’re very good) and all seemed to be on the up, money was being paid back, no gambling was happening. Then, it started again. He just asked for “one more loan, it’ll be the last time” - obviously stupid me believed him still because it was going so well. And the slippery slope started again.
Finally broke up with him in 2022. My parents thankfully were in a position to help me pay off the debts which they then asked my ex to pay to them, which actually he only did under the threat of legal action. I had nothing to do with it as my parents had him pay them, but they told me on occasion he’d tried to pull his old excuses about not being able to pay that month, so sadly I think he’s still doing it.
It’s such a slippery slope and so much of sport advertising is gambling-related that no wonder people like my ex have a really hard time getting themselves out of gambling addiction. He really loves watching sport anyway, gambling or not, and if almost every ad you’re seeing on sports channels is gambling no wonder it feels impossible to get away from. If you do feel like you’re struggling with gambling please reach out and get help as it can be so destructive not just to your life but those around you too. Not here to judge, just to share my thoughts but open to people reaching out to talk about their own experiences if they want to - just feel it’s an addiction that’s not talked about nearly enough! My ex wasn’t (isn’t, I assume he’s not changed) a “bad” person but his addiction made him behave in “bad” ways - he was emotionally manipulative to get the money he felt he “needed” - it feels embarrassing to talk about how I let the situation spiral but also think awareness is so so important…
I’m so interested in this. I too have someone really close to me who is a gambling addict but who thankfully managed to stop a couple of years ago. They ended up in about 45k worth of debt because of it which they’re now doing really well at paying back. I hope so much that they manage to never go back to it.
I myself also no longer gamble as I felt myself becoming addicted too and wanted to nip it in the bud. Even now if I end up on a seemingly innocent slot or bingo game then I feel myself getting sucked into it and just have to stop. I have an addictive personality plus a few years ago I had a fairly decent slot win which I think I’m always trying to chase (lost my winnings gambling of course).
There’s another person in my life who I can tell is addicted to gambling but I’m not close enough to them to feel I can step in or help. He has a young family so I just hope for all of their sakes that he recognises his problem and gets help.
The thing I find so interesting about this addiction is that there’s always a chance you might win loads of money therefore you can tell yourself gambling might not be a bad thing (unlike drugs, smoking etc which are only bad for you - although they might make you feel good for a while). With gambling there’s always a change of an amazing outcome - although as those who are addicted/close to an addict will know, even a good outcome will ultimately end badly as any winnings will be gambled again.
I myself also no longer gamble as I felt myself becoming addicted too and wanted to nip it in the bud. Even now if I end up on a seemingly innocent slot or bingo game then I feel myself getting sucked into it and just have to stop. I have an addictive personality plus a few years ago I had a fairly decent slot win which I think I’m always trying to chase (lost my winnings gambling of course).
There’s another person in my life who I can tell is addicted to gambling but I’m not close enough to them to feel I can step in or help. He has a young family so I just hope for all of their sakes that he recognises his problem and gets help.
The thing I find so interesting about this addiction is that there’s always a chance you might win loads of money therefore you can tell yourself gambling might not be a bad thing (unlike drugs, smoking etc which are only bad for you - although they might make you feel good for a while). With gambling there’s always a change of an amazing outcome - although as those who are addicted/close to an addict will know, even a good outcome will ultimately end badly as any winnings will be gambled again.
Snippysnips
VIP Member
I honestly think online has made it far worse than it's ever been, before online started shops could stop people from betting if they or a family member had been in to put them on the no gambling list, but once online opened up it become impossible to be able to stop those that have a problem because now they can just set up accounts
There definitely does need to be more protection out there instead of a spending limit or time limit on things that can easily be overridden if the person wishes
There definitely does need to be more protection out there instead of a spending limit or time limit on things that can easily be overridden if the person wishes
ElChanguito
VIP Member
My brother got quite seriously addicted in the late 90s. He managed to go cold turkey after some huge losses and thankfully never went back to it. Of course it’s so much easier and more tempting now with websites and apps and the money is just a number on your screen. It must be that much harder to quit. I don’t think he would quit so easily now. The trouble is, we live in a free society and that has tragic consequences for many.
Laurob
Chatty Member
I am a gambling addict (former, i guess!) I signed up to Gamstop 3 years ago. 3 more to go, but i will renew it.
I didn't stake hundreds on single bets, but it all adds up. So many tenner bets here & there on the horses, and then every single day there was football I'd be all over an accumulator too. Chasing losses, then buzzing when i'd get a win - even though it didn't touch the side on what id bet that month haha.
It was definitively more than i could afford. I have alot of debt as a result, which i will continue to pay off for a long time
It really is a horrible addiction, i have no issues discussing or speaking to anyone suffering who wants to drop me a message xx
Snippysnips
VIP Member
As someone who worked in the betting industry, it absolutely blew my mind the money people put on, it would be thousands on a horse only for it to come second
I also seen how very quickly any winnings soon come back, there was a saying in our place "the bookies always win" an it was so true, you'd have people wining big only to see them slowly lose it all again as the next bunch of bets or slots would take it all back
I also seen how very quickly any winnings soon come back, there was a saying in our place "the bookies always win" an it was so true, you'd have people wining big only to see them slowly lose it all again as the next bunch of bets or slots would take it all back
AllSeeingEye123
VIP Member
The true number will be far higher. Knowing others have asked for help will hopefully make others more likely to do the same.
Loustafford
VIP Member
I live with a gambling addict, he doesn't know I know how bad it is. I think last time I check bank statements he'd spent about £27k in just over a year. It makes me sick to think of the money wasted. Just to add I'm trying to get out of this relationship not only because of the gambling but the lies that come with it, the amount of times I've had a text asking to borrow £20 because his car needs oil, he needs a new blade for his saw, he lost a packet of fags but in reality it just do he can put it on William hill, ladbrookes or whatever betting app he's installed this week.
AllSeeingEye123
VIP Member
X Factor winner Myles Stephenson opens up about gambling losses
Myles Stephenson says his gambling habit "progressed into an addiction" before he joined Rak-Su.
www.bbc.co.uk
It's good when someone known to the public speaks out.
Heyholetsgo
VIP Member
I am from a family of gamblers and it really does take over their lives. I've had to close my gambling account as I've got it in my blood and I always lose haha.
JumpingInMuddyPuddles
Member
I worked in the gambling industry for years and I'm a bit ashamed of myself for it sometimes. I honestly think it is one of the most dangerous addictions, because it can escalate very quickly and quietly and there is very little support out there for people who have a problem. I do think online gambling is a massive issue, particularly slots/casino/roulette, and there needs to be more awareness, conversation and help out there for people.
I have someone very close to me who is a gambling addict. They only admit they have a problem when they’ve lost lots of money and are then stuck with nothing left and need help to get by until the next pay day.
They’ve signed up to gamban but can still gamble with foreign websites using a vpn so really, gamban hasn’t done much to stop them. They very rarely cash out if they’ve won though, other people have spoken to them aswell as myself about winnings and what’s the point in playing if you never take the money but they insist that they do cash out but they always want to try for a bit more but that never ends well.
Twitch and YouTube are full of gambling streamers, they win huge amounts and play with big amounts too so it’s very unrealistic for ‘normal’ people. The person close to me watches these steamers in their spare time and will always comment on the amount they win and why don’t they win this easily. People have told them that the streamers are sponsored to play, it isn’t often their own money they’re playing with. But it’s so hard to get through to an addict, it’s what they want to do and I don’t think anything will stop them.
Just to add, the person close to me has been to see their doctor about their addiction. The doctor didn’t take it seriously at all, spoke to them about gamban and other online services to help with gambling addictions but my friend didn’t bother to continue the support. They had phone calls weekly with a support website (can’t remember who) which they signed up to themselves and it seemed to be helping, but after 6 sessions, my friend stopped answering their support calls and is back to gambling. They’ve previously been in trouble with the police regarding money which has been used to gamble and it worries everyone that it’ll happen again.
Such a horrible addiction that I don’t think gets enough awareness and isn’t taken seriously by others who aren’t addicts.
They’ve signed up to gamban but can still gamble with foreign websites using a vpn so really, gamban hasn’t done much to stop them. They very rarely cash out if they’ve won though, other people have spoken to them aswell as myself about winnings and what’s the point in playing if you never take the money but they insist that they do cash out but they always want to try for a bit more but that never ends well.
Twitch and YouTube are full of gambling streamers, they win huge amounts and play with big amounts too so it’s very unrealistic for ‘normal’ people. The person close to me watches these steamers in their spare time and will always comment on the amount they win and why don’t they win this easily. People have told them that the streamers are sponsored to play, it isn’t often their own money they’re playing with. But it’s so hard to get through to an addict, it’s what they want to do and I don’t think anything will stop them.
Just to add, the person close to me has been to see their doctor about their addiction. The doctor didn’t take it seriously at all, spoke to them about gamban and other online services to help with gambling addictions but my friend didn’t bother to continue the support. They had phone calls weekly with a support website (can’t remember who) which they signed up to themselves and it seemed to be helping, but after 6 sessions, my friend stopped answering their support calls and is back to gambling. They’ve previously been in trouble with the police regarding money which has been used to gamble and it worries everyone that it’ll happen again.
Such a horrible addiction that I don’t think gets enough awareness and isn’t taken seriously by others who aren’t addicts.
AllSeeingEye123
VIP Member
It's gone massive in America since rules have been relaxed. The few states in the article that still bans sports gambling won't be changing that anytime soon I don't think, after seeing what's happening in other states.
AllSeeingEye123
VIP Member
How problem gambler was able to dodge checks to spend thousands
As the government outlines a major overhaul of the country's gambling laws, Sky News hears that industry-funded efforts to exclude addicts are not working.
‘I lost £5 million because of my gambling addiction’
The government finally unveiled its long-awaited gambling white paper yesterday
Son of gambling addict calls for better support for minority communities
Kishan Patel, whose dad battled a gambling problem, is calling for more support for ethnic minorities.
www.bbc.co.uk
Blackburn X Factor contestant lost £50K in 10 year gambling addiction
A Blackburn X Factor star Nathan Grisdale says he “lost everything” because of his gambling addiction.
Not a day goes by without a sad story. The white paper will make some difference, but not a lot.
AllSeeingEye123
VIP Member
WOW the state of America. Big country but still a huge amount lost, to be pocketed elsewhere.