Friends (or lack of)

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I’ve literally got one friend and that’s it. We talk all day every day on whatsapp but we don’t get to see each other in person much cos we work opposite days. I’m friendly with some of the girls I work with but we don’t talk outside of work (we are friends on social media though) and I recently found out that there’s a work group chat that I’m not involved in which was just lovely to see.
 
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I went to my first mum social group last week which was interesting , it was all organised over Facebook and we took our kids and went to the soft play and we had coffee etc .. I met some nice ladies but I always feel like I come across so overbearing and keen ! I want to message one I got on with really well (we bonded over a mutual love for aldi and escape to the country lol) but I don’t know what to say or how to go about it without seeing desperate …
 
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I went to my first mum social group last week which was interesting , it was all organised over Facebook and we took our kids and went to the soft play and we had coffee etc .. I met some nice ladies but I always feel like I come across so overbearing and keen ! I want to message one I got on with really well (we bonded over a mutual love for aldi and escape to the country lol) but I don’t know what to say or how to go about it without seeing desperate …
i don’t think that is desperate at all! 9/10 if you feel like you got on with someone they feel it too. i’d just be completely honest and say ‘it was so lovely to speak to someone just like me and would love to go for a coffee with you soon! whenever you’re free drop me a message and we can arrange something.’

she might be feeling just as lonely and your message could make her day. go for it!!!
 
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I went to my first mum social group last week which was interesting , it was all organised over Facebook and we took our kids and went to the soft play and we had coffee etc .. I met some nice ladies but I always feel like I come across so overbearing and keen ! I want to message one I got on with really well (we bonded over a mutual love for aldi and escape to the country lol) but I don’t know what to say or how to go about it without seeing desperate …
I’d message her and say something like “just thought I’d let you know I found an absolute bargain in Aldi today! Ha! Let me know if you fancy a post Aldi caffeine fix one day”. Keeps it casual but throws the ball out there.
 
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I went to my first mum social group last week which was interesting , it was all organised over Facebook and we took our kids and went to the soft play and we had coffee etc .. I met some nice ladies but I always feel like I come across so overbearing and keen ! I want to message one I got on with really well (we bonded over a mutual love for aldi and escape to the country lol) but I don’t know what to say or how to go about it without seeing desperate …
Send her a meme
 
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I’d message her and say something like “just thought I’d let you know I found an absolute bargain in Aldi today! Ha! Let me know if you fancy a post Aldi caffeine fix one day”. Keeps it casual but throws the ball out there.
I like that idea !! I’m going today to do a food shop so I’ll see if I can find something even to take a picture of to send ! Thanks all , you’re a wonderful bunch 😘

Send her a meme
An Aldi meme perhaps 🤔
 
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I don’t have close friends and I absolutely love it! I know lots of people, odd play dates, walk to school etc but I wouldn’t count them as friends. I don’t like the responsibility (if that’s the word) I used to have a massive friendship group and long story short - anxiety, acceptance, am I good enough, money … I had to take my self away.
 
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it’s been a while since i came on this thread! i’m still a bleeping loner. but i recently started a new job (just a retail one) and have met other girls my age which is nice. i wouldn’t say they are my friends as such but it’s just so refreshing to socialise after being so alone.

i still feel so lonely and have some real low moments about having no friends. my birthday is in a few months and i’m already anxious, i hate birthdays as it is but just knowing not a single person will wish me happy birthday makes me so sad. i just wish i had someone to celebrate with, i’d do anything for a friend. i honestly cant wait for the day i can come on here and tell u i’ve been invited somewhere or made a friend 😂 being alone sucks.
Aw I feel this too. I dread birthdays / christmas due to lack of friends/social life. I'm used to it but I worry what my family think. I have 1 friend who lives 6 hours away (met at uni) so we just text everyday. I hope I'm able to make some friends one day!
 
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I don’t have close friends and I absolutely love it! I know lots of people, odd play dates, walk to school etc but I wouldn’t count them as friends. I don’t like the responsibility (if that’s the word) I used to have a massive friendship group and long story short - anxiety, acceptance, am I good enough, money … I had to take my self away.
I'm similar, although prefer having one or two allies - any more than that and I start to find it arduous to maintain. It's interesting that for some of us it's largely intentional. Do you find there are situations where you miss the support or companionship?
 
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I'm similar, although prefer having one or two allies - any more than that and I start to find it arduous to maintain. It's interesting that for some of us it's largely intentional. Do you find there are situations where you miss the support or companionship?
Last year I did think about it as a family member died and I just needed someone to cry and offload too but I think because I’m so used to being on my own I just got over it and I enjoy my own company. And I must say, taking the kids to the park sitting on my own if they don’t want me to play, sometimes I do think having a good chat with someone would be nice.
 
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I don't really have any friends and I am now content with that. When I was younger I desperately wanted more friends but I look back and wonder why!
I am happy that I have a VERY small circle (2 friends) they are individual ones not a group. If that makes sense? But I dont make plans often to see them just text mainly.
My partner is my best friend without a doubt.

Social media puts so much pressure on having a 'girl gang' but SM also isn't real and most people are just posting for the likes etc and to make it look like they are popular, like everyone else etc.

I am an only child so have always been happy with my own company and I think that is also why I haven't ever had lots of friends.

Its definitely normal to be content with yourself and family, I know I am.
This sounds a lot like me.
My best friend died 3 years ago and the bottom fell out of my life. Then last year right before the pandemic happened, my partner of 10 years and I split up. So I lost both of my best friends. I feel like I am alone now-I do have a couple friends that are long standing. But no one as close as the ones I lost.
its hard to make friends once you are done with school-work mates are only mates as long as you still are at the same job. When one of you moves on, thats the end. Strange isnt it?
 
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This sounds a lot like me.
My best friend died 3 years ago and the bottom fell out of my life. Then last year right before the pandemic happened, my partner of 10 years and I split up. So I lost both of my best friends. I feel like I am alone now-I do have a couple friends that are long standing. But no one as close as the ones I lost.
its hard to make friends once you are done with school-work mates are only mates as long as you still are at the same job. When one of you moves on, thats the end. Strange isnt it?
Sorry for your loss. Not the same, but my best friend emigrated and I was bereft. Can’t imagine how hard it must be for you! ❤
 
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it’s been a while since i came on this thread! i’m still a bleeping loner. but i recently started a new job (just a retail one) and have met other girls my age which is nice. i wouldn’t say they are my friends as such but it’s just so refreshing to socialise after being so alone.

i still feel so lonely and have some real low moments about having no friends. my birthday is in a few months and i’m already anxious, i hate birthdays as it is but just knowing not a single person will wish me happy birthday makes me so sad. i just wish i had someone to celebrate with, i’d do anything for a friend. i honestly cant wait for the day i can come on here and tell u i’ve been invited somewhere or made a friend 😂 being alone sucks.
I'm sorry you feel Ike this, being lonely can be really miserable, so I'll send you a Covid free hug. 🤗 I only have 1 close friend who doesn't live near so I don't see her much. Moved to a new area just over a year ago and I'd like to meet people to have a coffee with or food/drinks, but it's yet to happen. I like my job and the people, but that's the most socialising I do. My parents aren't near so I sometimes feel very alone as I don't drive and rely on public transport, and that's hard right now as trains are rammed and I'm still nervous about mixing in crowds. 😑
 
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Just wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone who told me not to be a worry wart and message that mum I met last week .. we’ve been chatting on and off all week on WhatsApp and have made plans to have brunch together in September (we are both away for much of august) .. :) feel like things are looking up for me at last
 
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Just wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone who told me not to be a worry wart and message that mum I met last week .. we’ve been chatting on and off all week on WhatsApp and have made plans to have brunch together in September (we are both away for much of august) .. :) feel like things are looking up for me at last
Great news Disney, well done x
 
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Is it normal to drift apart from your friends in your 20’s? I feel like I’m growing and moving in a different direction and just have different wants for life than my friends and every day I feel like we’re arguing over the most stupidest of things. I honestly don’t want to lose the few that I have, but I just feel that we’re so different now.
 
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Is it normal to drift apart from your friends in your 20’s? I feel like I’m growing and moving in a different direction and just have different wants for life than my friends and every day I feel like we’re arguing over the most stupidest of things. I honestly don’t want to lose the few that I have, but I just feel that we’re so different now.
Of course it’s normal. You will naturally grow apart from people as you get older and as your life moves in different directions. It’s completely natural. Allow yourself to be open to getting to know new people and you’ll find you will just naturally loose some people and gain new friends as you move through life. It’s whats supposed to happen.
 
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Is it normal to drift apart from your friends in your 20’s? I feel like I’m growing and moving in a different direction and just have different wants for life than my friends and every day I feel like we’re arguing over the most stupidest of things. I honestly don’t want to lose the few that I have, but I just feel that we’re so different now.
I'm in that weird inbetween state of moving on from people I grew up for same reasons you mention, but because of restrictions etc. It's hard to meet new people at the moment

It will get better, but you're not alone in how you're feeling as I'm in the same boat
 
Hi all,
I have been reading this thread and it’s so nice to hear others thoughts on this. I am feeling a bit bruised at the moment as my best friend of 25 years seems to be ghosting me.

I suppose my thoughts on this are that when it comes to friends quality is much better than quantity. I think this is well demonstrated by my ‘friend’ mentioned above. She has done some crazy things over the years (she used to be a real mess) and I have distanced myself from her several times but I kept getting sucked back in to being friends with her as I was afraid of not having a ‘best friend’

And as a few others have said I think the idea of having lots of friends is often much better than the reality.

I often feel envious when I see people with hundreds of birthday messages on FB or IG and with cute group photos with their big group of friends but when I spend time with someone I can feel like I need a week to recover.

Anyway my messages are always open if anyone needs a chat x

ps my profile pic is not me and I don’t drink coffee like that😂
 
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