Could you look into relocating to Australia? If you have friends there? It might be just what you need to break out of the way things are now and get a fresh start?I’ve just stumbled on this post whilst contemplating how I can stop being such a loner. I’m single, live alone and have no friends in my current location. I moved here last Summer to be closer to my mum, as she was really struggling with loneliness since lockdown began. I thought at least we could bubble, but honestly it’s been a nightmare. I don’t get on very well with my siblings after a nasty betrayal by one sister during my divorce and the other sibling’s have taken her side so I have distanced myself from them all. I had a breakdown two years ago and even my therapist advised me to cut ties as it was making me feel even worse to try and get on with them for the sake of everyone telling me ‘you can’t fall out with family’.
Now I’m near my mum all I get is regular updates on how great their lives are and a subtle nod of disappointment at the way I live my life because I’m not married, don’t have kids, freelance in my work and won’t buy a property because I can’t afford to buy anywhere in a decent area. I cannot even talk to her because she uses everything I say against me.
My truest friends are in Australia and I’m so damaged from previous betrayals that I have (diagnosed) PTSD and trust issues. I really want to make new friends, but am so terrified of being judged and disliked. Obviously I seem to have a knack of upsetting people! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one (although I am sorry for anyone going through the same loneliness).
In any case I’d probably distance yourself from you mum - both physically and emotionally. You don’t need to live near her, covid or no covid, lockdown or not. Get out of where you are and move somewhere you want to live, and live your own life