Family Fallouts - serious ones - no more contact

[Flowergirl14]

Just wondering how many of us have had a serious family fall out, where we are now estranged from our immediate family.
I just made a post on The Royal Family thread about family estrangements, and it made me think there may be a few of us.
I have cut off my 2 siblings, I find it extremely sad; but I am also in a better place for it.

It would be interesting to hear other people's stories. Thank you.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I don’t speak to my dad or my two half sisters.

My dad was in and out my life when I was growing up, he always favoured his middle daughter and he acted like he couldn’t stand me or his eldest daughter most of the time. Yet, when it came down to it, the eldest daughter would always take my dad’s and my middle sister’s side rather than mine, as she wanted to be accepted by them.

when I was 18, seven years ago, I had an argument with my middle half sister. She had been horrible and controlling with me my whole life and I snapped one Christmas Eve when she demanded that I come to my dad’s at a certain time, I didn’t want to be controlled by her anymore. She got very nasty with me over text and in the end she stopped replying when she knew I wouldn’t back down and I haven’t had any proper contact from her or my dad since. I did see them at my dad’s mum’s funeral and my dad did act like father of the year, but then he went back to ignoring me afterwards and he even walked past me in the street when he saw me a week later.

 

[Flowergirl14]

Thank you for sharing. All the best.

I have a controlling sister, very judgmental- her way is the only way!
Sometimes, it is better to remove these people from our lives and move on.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Thank you for sharing. All the best.

I have a controlling sister, very judgmental- her way is the only way!
Sometimes, it is better to remove these people from our lives and move on.

Yes definitely. My half sister is seven years older than me and she bullied me pretty much from when I was born. She would hit me, call me ugly and stupid, would play mean tricks on me and just generally be horrible. She also used to draw on walls and then tell my dad it was me so he would hit me. She’s always been nasty and horrible, not having her in my life is definitely the best option.

 

[Flowergirl14]

Yes definitely. My half sister is seven years older than me and she bullied me pretty much from when I was born. She would hit me, call me ugly and stupid, would play mean tricks on me and just generally be horrible. She also used to draw on walls and then tell my dad it was me so he would hit me. She’s always been nasty and horrible, not having her in my life is definitely the best option.

These stories make me feel sad. All we can do is rise above it, and move on...

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

These stories make me feel sad. All we can do is rise above it, and move on...

Yep, I can rise above it, but I wouldn’t say I can move on completely. I think I have been scarred emotionally from the way I was treated and it has definitely affected most of my life. I’d probably need counselling to try and move on.

 

[rainbowlemon]

Yep, I can rise above it, but I wouldn’t say I can move on completely. I think I have been scarred emotionally from the way I was treated and it has definitely affected most of my life. I’d probably need counselling to try and move on.

Therapy for me was one of the hardest things I did but I gained so much from it. Hope you can also give it a go when you're ready.

 

[ordinaryjelly]

My family is divided. In 2007 my great Grandma died and in her will left her house/estate to be split between her 3 living children, one of whom wanted to buy the property and keep it in the family. Only the property was worth X and they only wanted to pay B, and it wasn't a little bit less it was hundreds of thousands less. Anyway, it caused the mother of all family dramas. My family is huge and in 14 years since it happened the 'side' that wanted to buy the property has not had any contact with the others. It was nothing to do with me, I have no interest but I lost several aunts, uncles, lots of cousins and my sister sided with them for want of keeping the property in our family. I gave no opinion on any of it because I didn't want to take sides but I still ended up on one side of the fence so to speak.

The first few years it was horrible, I had a profound sadness that nothing in our family would ever be the same again. I was in therapy for other stuff anyway, and in time figured out some of the family drama that way. I still cannot understand how blood relatives can pick bricks and mortar over their family, it doesn't compute in my mind. But I do think if people feel that way we are better off without them. It is sad though. Especially my sister. Overnight I went from having her to her being gone. But also not gone because I know she is alive and well just choosing not to be in contact with us.

Families are hard.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I'm no contact with most of my cousins. Just way too much drama over family money and inherited property. Lawyers and courts too mainly over a london property worth more than a million. Buy outs of over £100,000 then even more drama four years ago.

I was close to my older female cousin, but she revealed the things I told her to everyone (stupid things at the time like pinning over a boy) so I got called a slut/ told I was sleeping around by them. Even if that was true - it was about trust and I was done after I had put a lot of effort into fixing our relationship.

Just because they're family doesn't mean that you have to accept bad treatment from them.

 

[Flowergirl14]

So sad, isn't it.

My parents have passed away and my 2 siblings are executors on the will.
Nearly 3 years have passed, and when I asked them this year what the status was; I was told I was money grabbing, mercenary, etc.
Then I received a small amount into my bank account this year, I again asked what it was for but no reply.
I asked the solicitors dealing with it, emailed and phoned many times, but no reply. Worrying?
They know I am short of money, and I have 2 children. This money would really help.
They don't have any children, neither have had a long term relationship.
I wonder if this is part of the problem? I don't know.

I just know once this is all sorted, I want nothing to do with either of them again.
I have my own family and friends.

One thing I have learned is to make a will. I have made mine. Very simple, everything is left to my 2 children with a donation to a small charity. Once my children turn 18, both will be executors.

 

[Smallpotato]

Just wondering how many of us have had a serious family fall out, where we are now estranged from our immediate family.
I just made a post on The Royal Family thread about family estrangements, and it made me think there may be a few of us.
I have cut off my 2 siblings, I find it extremely sad; but I am also in a better place for it.

It would be interesting to hear other people's stories. Thank you.

Not my immediate family, but my in laws. My BIL and his wife were arrested for a really serious crime, and didn’t disclose the full story to us until a year later when they were arrested again.

my husband maintains an amicable relationship with them as “it’s his brother”, but I refuse to speak to them and won’t even be the same room as them.

 

[Flowergirl14]

Not my immediate family, but my in laws. My BIL and his wife were arrested for a really serious crime, and didn’t disclose the full story to us until a year later when they were arrested again.

my husband maintains an amicable relationship with them as “it’s his brother”, but I refuse to speak to them and won’t even be the same room as them.

Totally understand. A serious crime, I could not forgive.

 

[Smallpotato]

Totally understand. A serious crime, I could not forgive.

husband and I had a serious talk about it, and despite BIL and his wife still going to be present in our lives, I’m happy to take a backseat and basically ignore that they exist!

 

[Mrs Cucumber]

I was estranged from my father, he died and was buried without my knowing.

He was violent hole of a man and going no contact was the best thing I ever did

 

[bunnyboo]

My aunt's husband molested me as a child. I don't remember how old I was, what exactly happened or any of that kind of stuff. I really repressed that tit to the point it's all a blur in my mind.

I don't want to go to the police (as is my right). What's terrifying is because my aunt loves her husband so much... if I did confront her with what happened to me... she'd probably attack me, tell everyone I'm a liar etc. The fallout would be vicious. I'd genuinely be worried for my own safety and wellbeing.

So, I just don't talk to my aunt. I don't know if she knows. Thankfully, she lives in a different part of the country so I never see her. My parents, brother and grandmother know what happened. My parents respect my decision to not go to the police, and my grandmother is a very cold, uncaring person so she doesn't really care tbh.. she'd rather say nothing. I'm just terrified of what my brother could do. He's got a temper on him and things could get real ugly. I get scared just thinking about the whole thing.

This no contact with my aunt can only go on so long. I get scared even thinking about this.

 

[Flowergirl14]

My aunt's husband molested me as a child. I don't remember how old I was, what exactly happened or any of that kind of stuff. I really repressed that tit to the point it's all a blur in my mind.

I don't want to go to the police (as is my right). What's terrifying is because my aunt loves her husband so much... if I did confront her with what happened to me... she'd probably attack me, tell everyone I'm a liar etc. The fallout would be vicious. I'd genuinely be worried for my own safety and wellbeing.

So, I just don't talk to my aunt. I don't know if she knows. Thankfully, she lives in a different part of the country so I never see her. My parents, brother and grandmother know what happened. My parents respect my decision to not go to the police, and my grandmother is a very cold, uncaring person so she doesn't really care tbh.. she'd rather say nothing. I'm just terrified of what my brother could do. He's got a temper on him and things could get real ugly. I get scared just thinking about the whole thing.

This no contact with my aunt can only go on so long. I get scared even thinking about this.

God, that is a truly heartbreaking story.
My heart goes out to you,

 

[CrystalWench]

My mum. Always had a difficult relationship since I was a child. Got worse over the years and there was many times of no contact. The longest was 5 years and this year, a year after we gave her the last chance, she was arrested for harassment and stalking. I’m in the middle of taking out a nmo and waiting to hear if she will be charged.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I haven't spoken to my brother in a few years. Sadly this extends to his kids too. So our kids don't really know each other. It's for the best though, he is a bleep and his wife is nothing but a trouble maker.

 

[Lulu Goss]

I don’t have any contact with my mums side of the family. My grandad sexually abused me when I was a child and denied it happened, and that side of the family chose to side with him as they didn’t believe me.

I don’t care that I have nothing to do with them but I feel immensely guilty that my mum doesn’t have her mum or her sisters, or all of her nieces and nephews anymore.

 

[HelloStereo]

I don't talk to my mum. She was quite abusive when I was growing up both verbally and physically.

When I was about 14 she met a boyfriend. After two months of knowing him he moved in. She didn't even let us know first, we just saw more of his things begin to appear in the house over time. I asked her about it and she said he was there to stay and if I didn't like it I could go and live somewhere else.

A few months later I did. She only started trying to make amends when she had broken up with him. There were a few times in the past where I would meet her to try and build a relationship but it'd always be the same. I think building bridges takes time but she expected me to be super friendly / always wanting to see her etc straight away. One time I told her it was excessive for her to call me 20 times in an hour and she threw some of my belongings on the floor and told me I deserved to me in a "mental institution". After that I gave up trying to build any sort of relationship with her, it's not like we even had one in the first place.