Family breakdown

[Raininvain]

Not the same exactly but I just have 1 cousin I've seen about 3 times in my life on one side and on the other my Aunt/Uncle and Cousin. When my Grandma was alive my Mum had to do everything for her basically and my Mum had walking difficulties, was married to my Dad who was an alcoholic and was working nearly full time as well. They lived 20 miles away and all 3 could drive etc. It was really unfair, they visited maybe once a month if that.
Anyway, I will never have anything to do with them again, you don't treat people like this. My Mum was having to carry heavy shopping 3 times per week up a big hill and they did nothing to help her.
Do whats best for yourself OP.

 

[JoeBloggs]

My husbands mother is quite toxic and he has had minimal contact with her since she kicked him out at 17. He will speak to his dad but very rarely because he is very self involved. They had him when they were 21 and neither were prepared to be parents. He doesn’t have much other real family either.

My husband is a wonderful man and I think alot of that is to do with stepping away and being his own person. Just because they are family doesn’t mean you have to stay loyal. Dont feel guilty for putting yourself first.

 

[Am49704]

I'm in my early 30's my mum had me when she was 16 and I have a sister 11 years younger. My mum is an only child so I have no other family apart from my partner and I don't know my dad. My family are toxic so I have decided to have nothing more to do with my mum and sister because of this but it makes me upset due to the fact I have no other family. Has anyone had a similar situation?

 

[ChloChlo]

Yes.

I have a very toxic aunt. My mums sister. My mum passed 11 years ago and since then has almost acted like a gatekeeper for that side of the family. She has the ability to sway the entire maternal family who are actually the black sheep from theirs against me whenever she fancies. This yes, sadly includes my grandparents. I have a brother who I barely talk to at all and a sister, they stopped talking to that entire side as teenagers, as they both happen to be gay and found them homophobic, we are all in our 30s now and say I'm silly for letting them back in time after time and have often been angry with me for going back. My mums funeral felt very wild west as all her side of the family wasn't speaking to me because of her bullshit again. None of the family seem to speak to me unless me and her star to speak again. Thing is, they all bitch about what she is like but succumb to her vile ways.

I recently let her back in, I stopped speaking to her years ago, she attacked me on holiday, infront of my children and despite everyone knowing what she is like, still let her cause rifts between everyone so they stop speaking me, I only let her back into my life so I can talk to my nana and grandad again as they are getting really old now.

No one else is really that close. I also have two uncles on that side of the family, one is extremely obnoxious, his daughters we never really knew as he never bothered with them and calls them the most vile names because they wont with him now they are adults. My other uncle is aloof, so is his son.

My dad is great, but hes old school and can appear cold. It took me 36 years to realise that. His parents died when we were kids, his siblings moving to other parts of the country shortly after so never had the opportunity to grow up into adulthood with my cousins.