Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Chita]

Also remember that the little things we take for granted might be things some people wish they could have.

I was at a funeral yesterday.
The tea afterwards was held in a marquee at the back of the house.
Many parked on the street near the house and walked to the back garden, some managed to park on the long drive.
Amongst the usual cars I saw a massive Tesla, a new Jaguar and a bloody Aston Martin!! Wow!
All enormously expensive and clearly a person who can afford such a car must have loads more money and a better lifestyle than me - but is that true?

Maybe they pay more for their loaf of bread, butter, cheese and wine than I can afford, but how much better is it really?
I can get nice tasting food without spending a fortune.
And their humungously expesive to buy and insure car can still get scratched and dented just like my bog standard car.

 

[Chita]

As this "tea room" chat thread is also intended to distract us from mental health issues, I'd like to chat about other stuff too.

Anyone found that so-called nail strengthening polish actual makes their nails worse?
I like to keep my nails short-ish and neat.
Most of them are strong enough but some go a bit bendy at the ends if I let them grow too long.
So I got some cuticle oil and some clear polish that is supposed to strengthen to try and make the bendy ones stronger.
My nails started to split and break !!!

The polish peeled off a lot, too.
So im fed up!
Ive now got some Burt's Bees balm to see if that helps.

Anyone else find nail strengthers do the opposite?

 

[50sGirl]

Also remember that the little things we take for granted might be things some people wish they could have.

I was at a funeral yesterday.
The tea afterwards was held in a marquee at the back of the house.
Many parked on the street near the house and walked to the back garden, some managed to park on the long drive.
Amongst the usual cars I saw a massive Tesla, a new Jaguar and a bloody Aston Martin!! Wow!
All enormously expensive and clearly a person who can afford such a car must have loads more money and a better lifestyle than me - but is that true?

Maybe they pay more for their loaf of bread, butter, cheese and wine than I can afford, but how much better is it really?
I can get nice tasting food without spending a fortune.
And their humungously expesive to buy and insure car can still get scratched and dented just like my bog standard car.

Well said!

 

[shazbev]

As this "tea room" chat thread is also intended to distract us from mental health issues, I'd like to chat about other stuff too.

Anyone found that so-called nail strengthening polish actual makes their nails worse?
I like to keep my nails short-ish and neat.
Most of them are strong enough but some go a bit bendy at the ends if I let them grow too long.
So I got some cuticle oil and some clear polish that is supposed to strengthen to try and make the bendy ones stronger.
My nails started to split and break !!!

The polish peeled off a lot, too.
So im fed up!
Ive now got some Burt's Bees balm to see if that helps.

Anyone else find nail strengthers do the opposite?

@Chita....I have the same problem as you.
I'm currently using Sally Hansen nail rehab. It's got a pink tinge to it and once I've manicured my nails, I apply one coat and it seems to do what it claims plus my nails have now got a sheen to them. Hope that helps .

 

[HairyWeeTerrier]

Thanks everyone I'm back on a semi-even keel again now! Lol....this is how it is at the moment, stressed, then calm, then anxious, then stressed again. I must admit, trying to be on a diet at the same time isn't really helping. Chocolate buttons and jaffa cakes are usually my go to cure all!

Sorry to hear about your workplace @Rockin' Robin employers that don't appreciate their staff, usually end up with a high turn over! You are right, it's just the little things and simple words that make all the difference.
I know that you shouldn't need to, but maybe you could do the cheery greeting and see if they reciprocate?

Sorry to hear about your difficult situation @Damita - the only thing you can try and do is remind yourself that this situation won't last forever and keep avoiding the narc as best you can. It must be a real strain - is there another family member that recognises the effect that this narc is having on you, that you could talk to about it?

Glad you are feeling a bit more positive. You hit the nail on the head when you said ‘Nothing lasts forever’. Take every offer of help that you can, don’t cripple yourself with guilt if you feel you have come up short. Don’t punish yourself if you feel resentment and anger. Remember, at the moment , you are putting your life on hold for another person , doing things you don’t want to do, putting on a face. And probably receiving nothing in return. I have been through it, so I know how hard it is, and as I sit here with it all behind me, I cannot believe that I am free. Not free from guilt, that is harder to be free of. But I did my best, you are doing your best. Look after yourself, because when you are free, you want to be fit and ready to get your life back. One day…………

 

[Chita]

@Chita....I have the same problem as you.
I'm currently using Sally Hansen nail rehab. It's got a pink tinge to it and once I've manicured my nails, I apply one coat and it seems to do what it claims plus my nails have now got a sheen to them. Hope that helps .

I tried a Sally Hansen one and it peeled off - but it wasnt the one you mention, so I will give it a try, thankyou.

I tried rejuvacote, some Barry M ones and Sally Hansen.
They all made my nails less strong!
Off to amazon to find the one you recommend.

Xxx

 

[shazbev]

I tried a Sally Hansen one and it peeled off - but it wasnt the one you mention, so I will give it a try, thankyou.

I tried rejuvacote, some Barry M ones and Sally Hansen.
They all made my nails less strong!
Off to amazon to find the one you recommend.

Xxx

I agree, most Sally Hansen polishes do nothing for my nails, the rehab one seems to be the only one that works for me. Good luck.

 

[HairyWeeTerrier]

I'm just fed up of how my life has ended up. I imagined so much more for myself but I've got the opposite and there isn't much I can do about it.
I'm insanely jealous of those my age who are living the life I wanted for myself but will never have because I have been robbed of all sorts in my life.
I'm just existing rather than living life and enjoying it.

Edited to add that seeing these influences who do duck all but get paid the big bucks is really bringing me down. I'd love to be able to do that just for a short time until I had enough to buy a house out right and have enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life. I hate the way of the world sometimes, it's honestly so unfair.

Nothing new for me to write, but I can agree with what others have said. Yes, people have more material goods, they could be up to their eyes in debt. People have better jobs, what have they sacrificed to get there ? People have a wonderful marriage, they could hate each other behind closed doors. The key to a happy life, is not what you have achieved or how wealthy you are, it is contentment, and no amount of success or money can buy that. I was always a housewife, my choice, my friends worked at their careers. When we met up as a group, they did nothing but moan about their life. Big houses and cars, foreign holidays, new kitchens every few years didn’t make them happy. Jealousy, anger, resentment, they are like cancers in our soul which only we can cure. Try really hard to let those feelings go, because you cannot move forward until you do.

As this "tea room" chat thread is also intended to distract us from mental health issues, I'd like to chat about other stuff too.

Anyone found that so-called nail strengthening polish actual makes their nails worse?
I like to keep my nails short-ish and neat.
Most of them are strong enough but some go a bit bendy at the ends if I let them grow too long.
So I got some cuticle oil and some clear polish that is supposed to strengthen to try and make the bendy ones stronger.
My nails started to split and break !!!

The polish peeled off a lot, too.
So im fed up!
Ive now got some Burt's Bees balm to see if that helps.

Anyone else find nail strengthers do the opposite?

I am a gardener, so my nails are such a disgrace, I am pleased if I can get the dirt from under them

Okay, here is something that I am dumbstruck by. The latest trend in cake decoration. Having been a member of the WI, I am very familiar with the use of icing and buttercream as piped decoration. Swirls with cherries, chocolate , dragees, all that sort of thing. But a while ago, the fashion was for broken biscuits and chocolate bars to be stuck on the tops of cakes. I am talking about the cakes that cost upwards of £70, not the ones made for a snack after school. But , if I thought that was bad, things have nosedived. The fashion is now for dried bits of grass. Why would I want to eat a cake with a bit of Pampas sticking out from it . I am too old for this new world. Not know what I am talking about, Google ‘grass toppers for cakes “

 

[Chita]

I agree, most Sally Hansen polishes do nothing for my nails, the rehab one seems to be the only one that works for me. Good luck.

Ive ordered some. It looks pink so I think its the correct one.
Xxx

Nothing new for me to write, but I can agree with what others have said. Yes, people have more material goods, they could be up to their eyes in debt. People have better jobs, what have they sacrificed to get there ? People have a wonderful marriage, they could hate each other behind closed doors. The key to a happy life, is not what you have achieved or how wealthy you are, it is contentment, and no amount of success or money can buy that. I was always a housewife, my choice, my friends worked at their careers. When we met up as a group, they did nothing but moan about their life. Big houses and cars, foreign holidays, new kitchens every few years didn’t make them happy. Jealousy, anger, resentment, they are like cancers in our soul which only we can cure. Try really hard to let those feelings go, because you cannot move forward until you do.


I am a gardener, so my nails are such a disgrace, I am pleased if I can get the dirt from under them

Okay, here is something that I am dumbstruck by. The latest trend in cake decoration. Having been a member of the WI, I am very familiar with the use of icing and buttercream as piped decoration. Swirls with cherries, chocolate , dragees, all that sort of thing. But a while ago, the fashion was for broken biscuits and chocolate bars to be stuck on the tops of cakes. I am talking about the cakes that cost upwards of £70, not the ones made for a snack after school. But , if I thought that was bad, things have nosedived. The fashion is now for dried bits of grass. Why would I want to eat a cake with a bit of Pampas sticking out from it . I am too old for this new world. Not know what I am talking about, Google ‘grass toppers for cakes “

The only "grass" I ever heard of in cakes was those drug filled brownies the hippies used to bake!
I wouldnt eat those or any with actual grass - and I LOVE cake!!
What is wrong with people?
Grass belongs in a garden.


I went to a food and drink festival on Sunday .
One stall was selling cupcakes. They were huge and some of them had a whole biscuit stuck in the buttercream.
Others had a giant marshmallow shoved on top.

I have a greedy guts love of sweet things but they did not appeal to me at all.
Overkill.

No pampas grass festooned ones though!

 

[Doodlebug005]

Nothing new for me to write, but I can agree with what others have said. Yes, people have more material goods, they could be up to their eyes in debt. People have better jobs, what have they sacrificed to get there ? People have a wonderful marriage, they could hate each other behind closed doors. The key to a happy life, is not what you have achieved or how wealthy you are, it is contentment, and no amount of success or money can buy that. I was always a housewife, my choice, my friends worked at their careers. When we met up as a group, they did nothing but moan about their life. Big houses and cars, foreign holidays, new kitchens every few years didn’t make them happy. Jealousy, anger, resentment, they are like cancers in our soul which only we can cure. Try really hard to let those feelings go, because you cannot move forward until you do.


I am a gardener, so my nails are such a disgrace, I am pleased if I can get the dirt from under them

Okay, here is something that I am dumbstruck by. The latest trend in cake decoration. Having been a member of the WI, I am very familiar with the use of icing and buttercream as piped decoration. Swirls with cherries, chocolate , dragees, all that sort of thing. But a while ago, the fashion was for broken biscuits and chocolate bars to be stuck on the tops of cakes. I am talking about the cakes that cost upwards of £70, not the ones made for a snack after school. But , if I thought that was bad, things have nosedived. The fashion is now for dried bits of grass. Why would I want to eat a cake with a bit of Pampas sticking out from it . I am too old for this new world. Not know what I am talking about, Google ‘grass toppers for cakes “

I can't claim to be a gardener but I garden a lot, like the others, nails brittle despite umpteen suppliments etc, my mum &sis have long strong nails, oh well.
With regard to dirt under nails, I buy these from a medical supplies company here in Ireland but am sure they can be bought anywhere, far superior to a regular nailbrush. It says single use, but that is if one is performing surgery

 

[HairyWeeTerrier]

I can't claim to be a gardener but I garden a lot, like the others, nails brittle despite umpteen suppliments etc, my mum &sis have long strong nails, oh well.
With regard to dirt under nails, I buy these from a medical supplies company here in Ireland but am sure they can be bought anywhere, far superior to a regular nailbrush. It says single use, but that is if one is performing surgery

Wow, thank you so much

 

[Doodlebug005]

Wow, thank you so much

No probs

 

[Chita]

My best friend's father was a coal miner.
As you can imagine, a coal miner's fingernails get black underneath and look awful.
So he used to hand wash a pair of socks when he got home from work and he would rub the socks together to get them nice and soapy.
He swore by that for getting the dirt from under his nails.

 

[Louk]

Also remember that the little things we take for granted might be things some people wish they could have.

I was at a funeral yesterday.
The tea afterwards was held in a marquee at the back of the house.
Many parked on the street near the house and walked to the back garden, some managed to park on the long drive.
Amongst the usual cars I saw a massive Tesla, a new Jaguar and a bloody Aston Martin!! Wow!
All enormously expensive and clearly a person who can afford such a car must have loads more money and a better lifestyle than me - but is that true?

Maybe they pay more for their loaf of bread, butter, cheese and wine than I can afford, but how much better is it really?
I can get nice tasting food without spending a fortune.
And their humungously expesive to buy and insure car can still get scratched and dented just like my bog standard car.

My great grandmother always said "I'm rich, I'm rich" her husband died aged 40 and she had to bring up her kids on very little money. But she was rich in health (almost 100) and rich in family that loved her.

There's a rich guy round the corner from me, he has a massive house, luxury cars, the lot. He's a friend of a friend who told me his business went bust and left him in debt, so he only appears rich on paper. I'm really smug when I see him about in my crappy Ford car, knowing that I've got more actual money than he does even though he looks down his nose at plebs like me Be satisfied with what you do have, a lot of people are trotting around in their fur coats without a hope of buying any knickers on their maxed out credit cards!

 

[Summer house]

My best friend's father was a coal miner.
As you can imagine, a coal miner's fingernails get black underneath and look awful.
So he used to hand wash a pair of socks when he got home from work and he would rub the socks together to get them nice and soapy.
He swore by that for getting the dirt from under his nails.

Aww Chita I love that story, it brought back happy memories for me . My grandmother was the eldest of 14 - 9 boys and 5 girls. 8 of the 9 boys went on to be miners and the stories she used to tell me about them when they were young . She was quite the matriarch
My grandfather was a miner too. My grandmother and grandfather used to go 'courting' on a Wednesday afternoon as that was their day off. They always went to a quaint little village (a place I love to this day) to do their 'courting'. Fast forward many years and I figured out that my mother was conceived while they were 'courting' in the quaint little village a few months before they were married

 

[Chita]

Well said!

View attachment 694304

I love this.
Love it!
Im sending it to a friend who is always saying there is nothing to look forward to.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

It's funny how a little insight into someone else's world really changes your perspective on things. My friend has what seems to be a perfect life on Facebook but I know she's very unhappy with her relationship. When I see her posting how much she's in love and just loves her life I cringe a bit because I know it's far from the truth.

 

[Chita]

It's funny how a little insight into someone else's world really changes your perspective on things. My friend has what seems to be a perfect life on Facebook but I know she's very unhappy with her relationship. When I see her posting how much she's in love and just loves her life I cringe a bit because I know it's far from the truth.

People who do that are trying to convince themselves they are happy.
Its often a sign of insecurity rather than bragging.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

People who do that are trying to convince themselves they are happy.
Its often a sign of insecurity rather than bragging.

Oh, yes. She's a beautiful girl but her husband is always looking at other women. I think he may have been unfaithful and that's why she's trying to pretend it's all perfect. I feel bad for her.

 

[Chita]

Oh, yes. She's a beautiful girl but her husband is always looking at other women. I think he may have been unfaithful and that's why she's trying to pretend it's all perfect. I feel bad for her.

I sometimes think being beautiful to look at brings more difficulties than we realise.
I always think of it in movie star terms, ie, the character actor is employed for their talent alone and usually works steadily.
The actor/actress employed for their "look" has a shorter "shelf-life" and when their time is up they struggle terribly with feelings of rejection and even abandonment.

Some of them dont learn how to cope with the downs in life because at the height of their beauty, they didnt have any and didnt need to learn any other skills apart from looking good, because that was always enough.......until it isnt.