Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Rockin' Robin]

Thanks everyone I'm back on a semi-even keel again now! Lol....this is how it is at the moment, stressed, then calm, then anxious, then stressed again. I must admit, trying to be on a diet at the same time isn't really helping. Chocolate buttons and jaffa cakes are usually my go to cure all!

Sorry to hear about your workplace @Rockin' Robin employers that don't appreciate their staff, usually end up with a high turn over! You are right, it's just the little things and simple words that make all the difference.
I know that you shouldn't need to, but maybe you could do the cheery greeting and see if they reciprocate?

Sorry to hear about your difficult situation @Damita - the only thing you can try and do is remind yourself that this situation won't last forever and keep avoiding the narc as best you can. It must be a real strain - is there another family member that recognises the effect that this narc is having on you, that you could talk to about it?

Thank you Spangly for you thoughful reply. I have calmed down a little, since I wrote that post. Reading some of the other posts in this thread, makes my irritations sound somewhat trivial. I do sympathise with anyone who is really struggling. My best wishes to everyone.

 

[Pom Bear]

I be catching up later
A big hug from Pom xx

 

[Damita]

Actually got some real sleep this afternoon and already feel much better even though I have a lot to catch up on. Hoping things are looking up!

 

[Nuttynana]

About to move into my third week of dealing with one of the worst bouts of insomnia I've ever had, which is so bad I'm considering ringing my GP surgery and begging for some diazepam, which has helped a bit in the past when I've been like this.

It's all been triggered by having to attend an extremely important, high pressured family function. I got through the day itself okay but the aftermath in particular has been horrendous for my mental health. The main issue is the cluster of relatives who are raving narcissists and being forced to be in close contact with them for any length of time is really, really harmful. Going "no contact" is not an option and won't be for the foreseeable future, and I can't afford therapy anymore which did help when I was able to pay for it during a short time. Not even bothering with NHS mental health treatment these days since I've been there, done that enough times to know it's useless...they really need to accept that CBT does not work for every condition.

Insomnia is one of those things where I forget how horrific it is until another flare-up. I know I'll eventually recover and go back to sleeping better at some stage but in the meantime, argh!

Sleepless night are the worse times for worrying and anxiety and because you feel like. tit the next day it just magnifies everything . I think when you can regain your sleep pattern you will be able to cope again.

Can you drastically reduce the contact with your relatives for your own salvation, really hope you can solve things

 

[Chita]

@spangly @shazbev @Damita @Rockin' Robin
@Facehugger
I think I've managed to tag all of you who posted since I was last in here. If ive missed anyone please forgive me 'cos im doing this on my phone and its not as easy for me to navigate as when on my laptop.
You all deserve medals for putting up with all the shyte life is throwing at you.

Your strength of character is amazing.
You take the kicks and you get right back up again.
I dont think any of you realise just how strong you are.
You are all an inspiration.

Oh and thankyou for the baby goat video.
Cant beat a nice goat.

And I love all the corgi pics, especially that last one.

 

[265]

I be catching up later
A big hug from Pom xx

View attachment 690109

Ah so now I know where you have been lurking,

 

[Facehugger]

@spangly @shazbev @Damita @Rockin' Robin
@Facehugger
I think I've managed to tag all of you who posted since I was last in here. If ive missed anyone please forgive me 'cos im doing this on my phone and its not as easy for me to navigate as when on my laptop.
You all deserve medals for putting up with all the shyte life is throwing at you.

Your strength of character is amazing.
You take the kicks and you get right back up again.
I dont think any of you realise just how strong you are.
You are all an inspiration.

Oh and thankyou for the baby goat video.
Cant beat a nice goat.

And I love all the corgi pics, especially that last one.

Thank you Chita so much for your kind words I just get on with things, as we all do, but if I can help somebody else to feel a bit better about whatever they've got to cope with, then I like to try.

I like this thread because people can speak without any judgement or harshness, or just read, and sometimes just to get things out or see that others are going through the same things helps immensely. I hope all who come here will find some help and support

 

[spangly]

Morning everyone

Just enjoying a little breather. The sun is shining, the washing is on the line (fingers crossed we don't get the thunderstorms we've been forecast) - here's to a lovely Sunday!

 

[shazbev]

Morning all and thank you @Chita for your kind words. This thread shows the true meaning of women supporting women...not the snidey version influenzas propose. I've met my people here and it just helps to get things off my chest or just to read and get comfort from other people's experiences. Love to you all and hope you all have a peaceful Sunday..I'm just off to a glass etching workshop- I'm naturally clumsy so it may not end well . See you on the other side.

 

[Summer house]

Morning all. Woke up this morning feeling so much better than I have all week. I feel a lot sunnier inside if that makes sense.
All week I felt like there was dark storm clouds hovering over me but that feeling has now gone and been replaced with sunshine. . Have a good day everyone.

 

[Summer house]

I like the honesty of people on this thread so here's a little about me. I will try and keep it as brief as possible.
I was born into a household where there was a lot of anger and violence. I was never shown any love from parents. There was always a lot of secrets and lies.
I have been bullied my whole life, at school and as an adult. I just cannot find the strength to stick up for myself.
I have no self confidence so haven't achieved much in life as I am scared to attempt anything as I don't think I will be any good.
I have no self esteem and dont think I'm very pretty, even though people have told me I am.
I'm constantly feeling scared and only remember feeling really happy twice in my lifetime.
I'm a good person who lives a quiet life. I would do anything to help people and I am very generous. Unfortunately like most of us, I have met a few bastards who have abused that generosity.
I hate my job so I can relate to you @Rockin' Robin. There is a lot of bitchiness in my place of work.
I cry a lot and I'm a mess but hey, that's me.

 

[Facehugger]

I like the honesty of people on this thread so here's a little about me. I will try and keep it as brief as possible.
I was born into a household where there was a lot of anger and violence. I was never shown any love from parents. There was always a lot of secrets and lies.
I have been bullied my whole life, at school and as an adult. I just cannot find the strength to stick up for myself.
I have no self confidence so haven't achieved much in life as I am scared to attempt anything as I don't think I will be any good.
I have no self esteem and dont think I'm very pretty, even though people have told me I am.
I'm constantly feeling scared and only remember feeling really happy twice in my lifetime.
I'm a good person who lives a quiet life. I would do anything to help people and I am very generous. Unfortunately like most of us, I have met a few bastards who have abused that generosity.
I hate my job so I can relate to you @Rockin' Robin. There is a lot of bitchiness in my place of work.
I cry a lot and I'm a mess but hey, that's me.

Bless you Summer while nobody can change their past, horrible as it is, would it help to write down every day if anything, however small, has made you smile a bit or something you have done has made someone else's life a little brighter or made them smile? Then when you are really down you can look back at it and know you are a good person who helps others xx

 

[Summer house]

Bless you Summer while nobody can change their past, horrible as it is, would it help to write down every day if anything, however small, has made you smile a bit or something you have done has made someone else's life a little brighter or made them smile? Then when you are really down you can look back at it and know you are a good person who helps others xx

Thank you, I think that is a great idea. I can always give it a try to see if it helps eh . I have nothing to lose by trying it so will certainly give it a go .

 

[Facehugger]

Thank you, I think that is a great idea. I can always give it a try to see if it helps eh . I have nothing to lose by trying it so will certainly give it a go .

You won't lose anything by trying, call it your 'Smile Diary' and however small the thing is that's made you smile, write it down. Then when you're feeling really bad, have a read back, pick out a couple of little things and do them again, see if it helps you feel better.

 

[Summer house]

You won't lose anything by trying, call it your 'Smile Diary' and however small the thing is that's made you smile, write it down. Then when you're feeling really bad, have a read back, pick out a couple of little things and do them again, see if it helps you feel better.

Smile diary, I like that

 

[shazbev]

@Summer house .....that tip from facehugger is spot on...a few years ago I went through a period of self doubt and low self esteem and found that writing down all the negative stuff I'd encountered that day helped put it into context and felt I could park the bad stuff in my little book and forget about it and move on. I haven't had to use it for a while and came across it in a clear out recently and was surprised how much better I felt about myself now compared to then. So do give it a go ...you'll be surprised how cathartic it can be. Meanwhile to you , you seem to be a sensitive soul and there's nothing wrong in that!

 

[Summer house]

@Summer house .....that tip from facehugger is spot on...a few years ago I went through a period of self doubt and low self esteem and found that writing down all the negative stuff I'd encountered that day helped put it into context and felt I could park the bad stuff in my little book and forget about it and move on. I haven't had to use it for a while and came across it in a clear out recently and was surprised how much better I felt about myself now compared to then. So do give it a go ...you'll be surprised how cathartic it can be. Meanwhile to you , you seem to be a sensitive soul and there's nothing wrong in that!

Thank you shazbev. I'm emotional writing this because you have no idea what your advice and Facehugger means to me. . I AM very sensitive and always have been so can't see that changing anytime soon. Ha ha.
I will definitely give the smile diary a go
I don't want to hog the conversation by going on about me too much but I am feeling better today and my mood should improve over the next day or so. Thank you for your concern

 

[Facehugger]

Thank you shazbev. I'm emotional writing this because you have no idea what your advice and Facehugger means to me. . I AM very sensitive and always have been so can't see that changing anytime soon. Ha ha.
I will definitely give the smile diary a go
I don't want to hog the conversation by going on about me too much but I am feeling better today and my mood should improve over the next day or so. Thank you for your concern

You sharing your thoughts and our replies might help someone else just reading, so don't worry about hogging anything lovely hugs to you and wish you some brighter days ahead xx

 

[Chita]

You sharing your thoughts and our replies might help someone else just reading, so don't worry about hogging anything lovely hugs to you and wish you some brighter days ahead xx

Yes @Summer house - you have shown strength by writing all of that for strangers to read.
Thats a big thing.
Remember, there might be someone reading who hasnt yet plucked up the courage to post anything and your words might encourage them.
And as we have learned sometimes discovering someone else feels the way we do can be a great help because we find that we are not alone.

 

[Summer house]

Yes @Summer house - you have shown strength by writing all of that for strangers to read.
Thats a big thing.
Remember, there might be someone reading who hasnt yet plucked up the courage to post anything and your words might encourage them.
And as we have learned sometimes discovering someone else feels the way we do can be a great help because we find that we are not alone.

Thank you Chita You are absolutely spot on. It was reading the experiences of people on here that gave me the courage to open up to you all. So exactly what you said.
I am a very private person but its absolutely okay to open up on here because its anonymous. It does help to talk about things, its like a release. Free therapy if you want