Fire up the light stim and grab your chicken in a biscuit, it’s time for a recap!
The festive season has been disappointing as a faulty mitre 10 outdoor umbrella in the front yard for our girl this year. After crying into her phone for weeks about how she runs a tight ship and how hard it is to be a single mama, EL outsourced all her Christmas preparations to A Love before locking him in the basement and refusing to let him leave until Boxing Day. Much independence, healing times ahead.
Despite literally publishing a cookbook and running an Australian pork promo on her page, EL forgot to save some of her bewwwwdiful glazed ham for Christmas Day. Instead the family were treated to a feast of blanched sausages, chicken wings and 5L of layered rainbow jelly. A Love was forced to make do eating a bag of grass clippings from when he mowed the lawn prior.
A relationship separation is a difficult time for anyone, especially when one has three children who are also dealing with the change in routine, on top of multiple months in lockdown. Therefore, EL sought advice from her community for day trips to spend precious family time together, before promptly tapping out, ditching the kids with A Love and disappearing for a week to NSW. Somehow she thought it was less embarrassing to tell her audience she spent a week lying in bed stimming her fanny while watching basketball documentaries, than reveal the truth of the matter, which is that she was on her eleven thousandth attempt at fat camp. While she was away, the tattle thirst for A Love got real, and it’s only a matter of time before someone hooks up with him and she finds out about it by googling herself.
Sending a special shout out to her children who have now become her diet coaches, camera crew and back up dancers as they are forced to work together to kick EL’s goals in 2022. The kids have been looking visibly resentful every time the camera pans over to their little faces, and her community have started to notice. Will EL stop using her children as accessories and filming them without their consent? We can only hope.
Why do you need to share your kids to stay relevant? I thought you were the media mogul?
. I’ll see what I can remember later. It was mostly super boring and just about her holiday plans. A bit of excitement at the end when someone asked her about Tattle. I took some screenshots of some of the questions to try and jog my memory for later.
🪂
