Emmylou Loves #38 Staycay at the plywood, dressin like a slurry, 20kg gone thanks to laxatives and durries

[EmmyLou_Spew]

@icouldsizedown Congratulations on the new thread.

You win a stay at the Plywood Motel, a foot rub by Oliver and a blow wave with Mark to get your curtain bangs ... bang on!

 

[Director of Mugs]

Thanks for the new thread @EmmyLou_Spew love the thread title @icouldsizedown

 

[AJAYA]

So it looks like T is an accountant

 

[Sure…Media!]

Thanks for the new thread and thank you to the winner of this week’s title.

On this week’s recrap…

The delightful staycay started off appearing a little sad but the Oakwood appears to have turned in to a little blokewood. Good thing she ordered oysters. You go girl! Explains why she ordered a whole bottle of red and didn’t talk much about the hotel. Oliver breathed a sigh of relief as she checked out and swiftly went upstairs to rub her fingerprints off the wall.

Dressed like a puppy pee mat, WinniebLou enjoyed a post coital ciggie outside the hotel. 70’s diet culture at its best. Speaking of culture, our lady of leisure has been taking a fair bit of time to learn about Africa. Wait til she learns it’s not just a country.

The human mondegreen dolled herself up as a lemon cello and appears to have moved on from Aaron Cheeny. Ciao to you, Pepé! Enjoying a bewdiful afternoon at the foddy wiv some warm scones, the staff at the catering box had to grab her some ice for that burn she sustained from Millsy. He does real work, 8 shows a week. He kindly offered her some tickets in exchange for her to Uber him dinner some time.

Scouting a new location for Cachia’s world book tour and dressed like my post latte turd, we ended up in Warragul. Nothing like a fan meet and greet in a tuck shop. Taking a break from African sausages, she was after a farkan hotdog mate!

Later that night Chewbacca redeemed her freebies from Millsy. (Wondering if she also took Lando Calrissian?) Having a gooorjus mummy-daughter night, she stood in front of the media wall and chromed a can of Impulse. The 90’s came flooding back. So did her memory that she bought her daughter along. Sorry MissC.

Another day, another crop top. It’s a vibe. Picking yesterday’s clothes off the floor from underneath the dog is the new fashun trend. You heard it hear first.

Another day, another crop top. FML. Mumma had a bewdy day at L’Oréal. Straight for the trough of food. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t fix her. Even Mark tried to fix the back of her hair for us but failed. He tried for the Xanadu but it ended up Xanadont. Nothing could be salvaged.

ALove came to dip his knife in the peanut butter. It’s been almost a year since you left us mate! Bugger off. But also, stay for a cheeky vino? We ain’t seeing T tonight.

 

[EmmyLou_Spew]

So it looks like T is an accountant

Oh look at you Ms Detective! I am impressed with your skills!

 

[Michy02]

Thanks for the new thread and thank you to the winner of this week’s title.

On this week’s recrap…

The delightful staycay started off appearing a little sad but the Oakwood appears to have turned in to a little blokewood. Good thing she ordered oysters. You go girl! Explains why she ordered a whole bottle of red and didn’t talk much about the hotel. Oliver breathed a sigh of relief as she checked out and swiftly went upstairs to rub her fingerprints off the wall.

Dressed like a puppy pee mat, WinniebLou enjoyed a post coital ciggie outside the hotel. 70’s diet culture at its best. Speaking of culture, our lady of leisure has been taking a fair bit of time to learn about Africa. Wait til she learns it’s not just a country.

The human mondegreen dolled herself up as a lemon cello and appears to have moved on from Aaron Cheeny. Ciao to you, Pepé! Enjoying a bewdiful afternoon at the foddy wiv some warm scones, the staff at the catering box had to grab her some ice for that burn she sustained from Millsy. He does real work, 8 shows a week. He kindly offered her some tickets in exchange for her to Uber him dinner some time.

Scouting a new location for Cachia’s world book tour and dressed like my post latte turd, we ended up in Warragul. Nothing like a fan meet and greet in a tuck shop. Taking a break from African sausages, she was after a farkan hotdog mate!

Later that night Chewbacca redeemed her freebies from Millsy. (Wondering if she also took Lando Calrissian?) Having a gooorjus mummy-daughter night, she stood in front of the media wall and chromed a can of Impulse. The 90’s came flooding back. So did her memory that she bought her daughter along. Sorry MissC.

Another day, another crop top. It’s a vibe. Picking yesterday’s clothes off the floor from underneath the dog is the new fashun trend. You heard it hear first.

Another day, another crop top. FML. Mumma had a bewdy day at L’Oréal. Straight for the trough of food. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t fix her. Even Mark tried to fix the back of her hair for us but failed. He tried for the Xanadu but it ended up Xanadont. Nothing could be salvaged.

ALove came to dip his knife in the peanut butter. It’s been almost a year since you left us mate! Bugger off. But also, stay for a cheeky vino? We ain’t seeing T tonight.

How do you come up with these?

 

[Director of Mugs]

Thanks for the new thread and thank you to the winner of this week’s title.

On this week’s recrap…

The delightful staycay started off appearing a little sad but the Oakwood appears to have turned in to a little blokewood. Good thing she ordered oysters. You go girl! Explains why she ordered a whole bottle of red and didn’t talk much about the hotel. Oliver breathed a sigh of relief as she checked out and swiftly went upstairs to rub her fingerprints off the wall.

Dressed like a puppy pee mat, WinniebLou enjoyed a post coital ciggie outside the hotel. 70’s diet culture at its best. Speaking of culture, our lady of leisure has been taking a fair bit of time to learn about Africa. Wait til she learns it’s not just a country.

The human mondegreen dolled herself up as a lemon cello and appears to have moved on from Aaron Cheeny. Ciao to you, Pepé! Enjoying a bewdiful afternoon at the foddy wiv some warm scones, the staff at the catering box had to grab her some ice for that burn she sustained from Millsy. He does real work, 8 shows a week. He kindly offered her some tickets in exchange for her to Uber him dinner some time.

Scouting a new location for Cachia’s world book tour and dressed like my post latte turd, we ended up in Warragul. Nothing like a fan meet and greet in a tuck shop. Taking a break from African sausages, she was after a farkan hotdog mate!

Later that night Chewbacca redeemed her freebies from Millsy. (Wondering if she also took Lando Calrissian?) Having a gooorjus mummy-daughter night, she stood in front of the media wall and chromed a can of Impulse. The 90’s came flooding back. So did her memory that she bought her daughter along. Sorry MissC.

Another day, another crop top. It’s a vibe. Picking yesterday’s clothes off the floor from underneath the dog is the new fashun trend. You heard it hear first.

Another day, another crop top. FML. Mumma had a bewdy day at L’Oréal. Straight for the trough of food. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t fix her. Even Mark tried to fix the back of her hair for us but failed. He tried for the Xanadu but it ended up Xanadont. Nothing could be salvaged.

ALove came to dip his knife in the peanut butter. It’s been almost a year since you left us mate! Bugger off. But also, stay for a cheeky vino? We ain’t seeing T tonight.

Btilliant! I needed a good laugh.

 

[EmmyLou_Spew]

Thanks for the new thread and thank you to the winner of this week’s title.

On this week’s recrap…

The delightful staycay started off appearing a little sad but the Oakwood appears to have turned in to a little blokewood. Good thing she ordered oysters. You go girl! Explains why she ordered a whole bottle of red and didn’t talk much about the hotel. Oliver breathed a sigh of relief as she checked out and swiftly went upstairs to rub her fingerprints off the wall.

Dressed like a puppy pee mat, WinniebLou enjoyed a post coital ciggie outside the hotel. 70’s diet culture at its best. Speaking of culture, our lady of leisure has been taking a fair bit of time to learn about Africa. Wait til she learns it’s not just a country.

The human mondegreen dolled herself up as a lemon cello and appears to have moved on from Aaron Cheeny. Ciao to you, Pepé! Enjoying a bewdiful afternoon at the foddy wiv some warm scones, the staff at the catering box had to grab her some ice for that burn she sustained from Millsy. He does real work, 8 shows a week. He kindly offered her some tickets in exchange for her to Uber him dinner some time.

Scouting a new location for Cachia’s world book tour and dressed like my post latte turd, we ended up in Warragul. Nothing like a fan meet and greet in a tuck shop. Taking a break from African sausages, she was after a farkan hotdog mate!

Later that night Chewbacca redeemed her freebies from Millsy. (Wondering if she also took Lando Calrissian?) Having a gooorjus mummy-daughter night, she stood in front of the media wall and chromed a can of Impulse. The 90’s came flooding back. So did her memory that she bought her daughter along. Sorry MissC.

Another day, another crop top. It’s a vibe. Picking yesterday’s clothes off the floor from underneath the dog is the new fashun trend. You heard it hear first.

Another day, another crop top. FML. Mumma had a bewdy day at L’Oréal. Straight for the trough of food. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t fix her. Even Mark tried to fix the back of her hair for us but failed. He tried for the Xanadu but it ended up Xanadont. Nothing could be salvaged.

ALove came to dip his knife in the peanut butter. It’s been almost a year since you left us mate! Bugger off. But also, stay for a cheeky vino? We ain’t seeing T tonight.

You seriously deserve a Pulitzer Prize for your recaps!

How do you come up with these?

It's seriously brilliant! My kids give me a weird look when I snort laugh at the recap!

 

[Broken Veneers]

I'm very interested in who she is dating (or if) but as long as she keeps him off instagram and he remains anonymous I guess we shouldn't discuss him. Would hate Emmy to report us and get the thread shut down.

 

[Bonniemeg]

The human mondegreen dolled herself up as a lemon cello and appears to have moved on from Aaron Cheeny. Ciao to you, Pepé! Enjoying a bewdiful afternoon at the foddy wiv some warm scones, the staff at the catering box had to grab her some ice for that burn she sustained from Millsy. He does real work, 8 shows a week. He kindly offered her some tickets in exchange for her to Uber him dinner some time.

Scouting a new location for Cachia’s world book tour and dressed like my post latte turd, we ended up in Warragul. Nothing like a fan meet and greet in a tuck shop. Taking a break from African sausages, she was after a farkan hotdog mate!

Im dying over here gold, absolute gold @Sure...Media! you are the best!!

 

[makeitstop]

Thanks for the new thread and thank you to the winner of this week’s title.

On this week’s recrap…

The delightful staycay started off appearing a little sad but the Oakwood appears to have turned in to a little blokewood. Good thing she ordered oysters. You go girl! Explains why she ordered a whole bottle of red and didn’t talk much about the hotel. Oliver breathed a sigh of relief as she checked out and swiftly went upstairs to rub her fingerprints off the wall.

Dressed like a puppy pee mat, WinniebLou enjoyed a post coital ciggie outside the hotel. 70’s diet culture at its best. Speaking of culture, our lady of leisure has been taking a fair bit of time to learn about Africa. Wait til she learns it’s not just a country.

The human mondegreen dolled herself up as a lemon cello and appears to have moved on from Aaron Cheeny. Ciao to you, Pepé! Enjoying a bewdiful afternoon at the foddy wiv some warm scones, the staff at the catering box had to grab her some ice for that burn she sustained from Millsy. He does real work, 8 shows a week. He kindly offered her some tickets in exchange for her to Uber him dinner some time.

Scouting a new location for Cachia’s world book tour and dressed like my post latte turd, we ended up in Warragul. Nothing like a fan meet and greet in a tuck shop. Taking a break from African sausages, she was after a farkan hotdog mate!

Later that night Chewbacca redeemed her freebies from Millsy. (Wondering if she also took Lando Calrissian?) Having a gooorjus mummy-daughter night, she stood in front of the media wall and chromed a can of Impulse. The 90’s came flooding back. So did her memory that she bought her daughter along. Sorry MissC.

Another day, another crop top. It’s a vibe. Picking yesterday’s clothes off the floor from underneath the dog is the new fashun trend. You heard it hear first.

Another day, another crop top. FML. Mumma had a bewdy day at L’Oréal. Straight for the trough of food. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t fix her. Even Mark tried to fix the back of her hair for us but failed. He tried for the Xanadu but it ended up Xanadont. Nothing could be salvaged.

ALove came to dip his knife in the peanut butter. It’s been almost a year since you left us mate! Bugger off. But also, stay for a cheeky vino? We ain’t seeing T tonight.

chromed a can of Impulse you are brilliant

 

[EmmyLou_Spew]

After 8 yrs on dating apps on and off ....

I tread so lightly because I don't want to perpetuate stereotypes but if that is "T" ......

He is not a genuine match, he has an agenda. I see it all day every day on those apps.

I get so nervous writing this, but I hope you all understand I am not coming from prejudice, I am coming from red flags I have seen firsthand and had single girlfriends experience.

Not to make a joke, but her trip to buy African Sausage and Biltong could have been prompted by conversations with a new male influence from that region.

If the man being linked is not associated with EL, I am by no means accusing him of anything. Just speaking from experience as a single person on dating apps.

 

[SnarkyTart]

Thanks for the new thread and thank you to the winner of this week’s title.

On this week’s recrap…

The delightful staycay started off appearing a little sad but the Oakwood appears to have turned in to a little blokewood. Good thing she ordered oysters. You go girl! Explains why she ordered a whole bottle of red and didn’t talk much about the hotel. Oliver breathed a sigh of relief as she checked out and swiftly went upstairs to rub her fingerprints off the wall.

Dressed like a puppy pee mat, WinniebLou enjoyed a post coital ciggie outside the hotel. 70’s diet culture at its best. Speaking of culture, our lady of leisure has been taking a fair bit of time to learn about Africa. Wait til she learns it’s not just a country.

The human mondegreen dolled herself up as a lemon cello and appears to have moved on from Aaron Cheeny. Ciao to you, Pepé! Enjoying a bewdiful afternoon at the foddy wiv some warm scones, the staff at the catering box had to grab her some ice for that burn she sustained from Millsy. He does real work, 8 shows a week. He kindly offered her some tickets in exchange for her to Uber him dinner some time.

Scouting a new location for Cachia’s world book tour and dressed like my post latte turd, we ended up in Warragul. Nothing like a fan meet and greet in a tuck shop. Taking a break from African sausages, she was after a farkan hotdog mate!

Later that night Chewbacca redeemed her freebies from Millsy. (Wondering if she also took Lando Calrissian?) Having a gooorjus mummy-daughter night, she stood in front of the media wall and chromed a can of Impulse. The 90’s came flooding back. So did her memory that she bought her daughter along. Sorry MissC.

Another day, another crop top. It’s a vibe. Picking yesterday’s clothes off the floor from underneath the dog is the new fashun trend. You heard it hear first.

Another day, another crop top. FML. Mumma had a bewdy day at L’Oréal. Straight for the trough of food. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t fix her. Even Mark tried to fix the back of her hair for us but failed. He tried for the Xanadu but it ended up Xanadont. Nothing could be salvaged.

ALove came to dip his knife in the peanut butter. It’s been almost a year since you left us mate! Bugger off. But also, stay for a cheeky vino? We ain’t seeing T tonight.

There is too much to applaud - every sentence is gold. Pure gold. You are an absolute queen (but not of the Constance variety)

 

[pokerface79]

I'm very interested in who she is dating (or if) but as long as she keeps him off instagram and he remains anonymous I guess we shouldn't discuss him. Would hate Emmy to report us and get the thread shut down.

I think the only thing EL is banging is the curtain she got today at the pop up salon.

 

[AMY$]

Im sorry but the white bread chicken sandwich with lashings of butter and a drop of mayo ain't rare for you EL, tit i would love that especially if its fresh but than again i can't claim to have lost 20kgs in the last 8 months.

 

[giftednotsponsored]

Thanks for the new thread and thank you to the winner of this week’s title.

On this week’s recrap…

The delightful staycay started off appearing a little sad but the Oakwood appears to have turned in to a little blokewood. Good thing she ordered oysters. You go girl! Explains why she ordered a whole bottle of red and didn’t talk much about the hotel. Oliver breathed a sigh of relief as she checked out and swiftly went upstairs to rub her fingerprints off the wall.

Dressed like a puppy pee mat, WinniebLou enjoyed a post coital ciggie outside the hotel. 70’s diet culture at its best. Speaking of culture, our lady of leisure has been taking a fair bit of time to learn about Africa. Wait til she learns it’s not just a country.

The human mondegreen dolled herself up as a lemon cello and appears to have moved on from Aaron Cheeny. Ciao to you, Pepé! Enjoying a bewdiful afternoon at the foddy wiv some warm scones, the staff at the catering box had to grab her some ice for that burn she sustained from Millsy. He does real work, 8 shows a week. He kindly offered her some tickets in exchange for her to Uber him dinner some time.

Scouting a new location for Cachia’s world book tour and dressed like my post latte turd, we ended up in Warragul. Nothing like a fan meet and greet in a tuck shop. Taking a break from African sausages, she was after a farkan hotdog mate!

Later that night Chewbacca redeemed her freebies from Millsy. (Wondering if she also took Lando Calrissian?) Having a gooorjus mummy-daughter night, she stood in front of the media wall and chromed a can of Impulse. The 90’s came flooding back. So did her memory that she bought her daughter along. Sorry MissC.

Another day, another crop top. It’s a vibe. Picking yesterday’s clothes off the floor from underneath the dog is the new fashun trend. You heard it hear first.

Another day, another crop top. FML. Mumma had a bewdy day at L’Oréal. Straight for the trough of food. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t fix her. Even Mark tried to fix the back of her hair for us but failed. He tried for the Xanadu but it ended up Xanadont. Nothing could be salvaged.

ALove came to dip his knife in the peanut butter. It’s been almost a year since you left us mate! Bugger off. But also, stay for a cheeky vino? We ain’t seeing T tonight.

The human mondegreen This recap has genuinely made my week. ‘Chromed a can of impulse’ had me in tears. You truly have a gift @Sure…Media!

 

[EmmyLou_Spew]

I think the only thing EL is banging is the curtain she got today at the pop up salon.

Or the curtain hiding the faux wall/window at the Plywood Motel!

 

[SnarkyTart]

Im sorry but the white bread chicken sandwich with lashings of butter and a drop of mayo ain't rare for you EL tit i love that especially if its fresh but than again i can't claim to have lost 20kgs in the last 8 months.

If I could go back and change my username, it would be Lashings of Butter

 

[Michy02]

If I could go back and change my username, it would be Lashings of Butter

I would love to be Curtain Bangs.

I tried to create a second account around when the mug shoppe was around and I got told off lol.

 

[greacea]

So it looks like T is an accountant

https://www.linkedin.com

Hold up can we back right up please? How do you know his name? Last I saw, heard, read - all there was was ‘T’.