Emmylou Love #25 Her body shut down, it all went caput, now she's in Udbud with Ketut

[SnarkyTart]

Congrats and terima kasih to @Scaredweirdlittleguy for our 25th thread title

This thread is bought to you by the letter B, in honour of Bali, bananas, Big Bird and Emmylou's abominable style.

The boorish bully surprised us all and took her clown show on the road, arriving in Udbud, Bali. Our brokenhearted banshee was treated to a much needed bath, after which she summoned the strength to go live to her bewdiful bogan community, plus 30 "troll" Tattlers - we know who we are

For breakfast today she had a slab of Bintang and then the bemused staff helped her wriggle into a bodycon dress, showcasing her botched basketball belly (still swollen from surgery guys). We watched, baffled, as she sashayed across the lawn of a villa capable of accommodating 10 guests. Emmy was there on her lonesome, with a driver who like all her other ride or dies, was paid to accompany her.

With a couple more days at Leah's dad's wellness retreat, the future of this thread looks bright! Have at it, Tattlers

 

[Sure…Media!]

This recrap is bought brought to you by the letter D

Thank you to all the artistic creatives who submitted the bewdiful artworks for our last thread. Just to be clear, this is an intern position so you’re only getting paid in exposure. It’ll be great for your resume. I may offer one of you a proper paid EA job… but your qualifications need to include either a daddy with an overseas resort or a young niece with a boyfriend.

How exciting was the Chemist Warehouse showcase? So so bewdiful. We noticed there was some spare room up the back. Hopefully it gets leased out to someone who does injectables or something. The Bondi Protein guy was genuinely impressed when EmmyLouoneword told him all about the time she was an instructor at the Top Gun academy.

Winter has set in. Time to mothball the midriffs. Namaste away from the family and have another holiday. EL gathered her best summer gear from her floordrobe and smooshed it in to a suitcase. There might even be time to reignite her career as a skydiving instructor.

Taking a well earned break from her studies as a paramedic, she found a few spare days up her sleeve, packed her dental floss and hopped on a Balinese plane to stay in a Balinese villa in some unknown country. Turns out the dental floss can double as underwear. Macgyver move right there. THERE’S A MASSIVE LIZARD!

On her first health retreat this week, ol’ mate asked for her vitamin C but the language barrier proved insurmountable. Ketut provided her plenty of nutritional drinks and a bewdiful dragon fruit bowl but no one could understand through the tears that when she was a buyer for a pharmacy, all the vitamin C came in a 190gm party bag. She looks so hot today. Like a sunrise. Rhonda was not happy.

There was a conspicuous lack of others on this retreat but we finally worked out why. We’re in the 23rd century and she’s Bruce Willis’ co star in The 5th Element. The plot line is something about defeating a cosmic evil force during an apocalyptic war. Explains all the vag baiting and crystals. Clearly Taurus is in Uranus at the moment.

At Udbud (pronounced “Oodbood”, same inflection as “ciao peppay”) she enjoyed a big bowl of broth with soup. Oh my goodness! Can’t wait to see that in the next cook book. So divine.

Normally a fan of autobiographies, our mate decided she just needed some fiction escapism to read by the pool to help remove her from the current headspace she’s in. Meanwhile the staff at Bookphobia high-fived themselves to sleep when they found just the book for Her.

We enjoyed the comfort of an Insta live. We all got a little shoutout and it was just divine to finally be acknowledged as one of the tribe. You saved our lives my Bintang Banana! Coz that’s what you do on an expensive recuperative trip. Hang with a bunch of strangers online, dodge the good questions and bore them to sleep. For those of us who stayed up long enough, we enjoyed an authentic mukbang experience. Reminds us of that time she was a welterweight boxer.

Now she’s found her voice, who knows what she’s been talking out of for the last decade.
On this cold winter night we’re all inspired suddenly to snuggle down and cook a pork roast. Weird. We were all vegan the other day.

Anyway ladies, you’ve all been asking in my DMs and I’m ready to deliver! Our first annual tribe holiday to Lake Locopomo is only 3 weeks away!! Just in time for school holidays. Please remember to pack your mammary macrame bikini, size down on any coats and fast track your passports.

 

[Lou_1234]

Bless you @SnarkyTart where would we be without you You deserve a bucket of cheezels, new sheets that aren’t washed, a face mask that’s not good for your skin and your bin emptied for free!!!

 

[Icantlookaway]

Thanks for the recap Snarky, and great thread title @Scaredweirdlittleguy

 

[makeitstop]

Congrats and terima kasih to @Scaredweirdlittleguy for our 25th thread title

This thread is bought to you by the letter B, in honour of Bali, bananas, Big Bird and Emmylou's abominable style.

The boorish bully surprised us all and took her clown show on the road, arriving in Udbud, Bali. Our brokenhearted banshee was treated to a much needed bath, after which she summoned the strength to go live to her bewdiful bogan community, plus 30 "troll" Tattlers - we know who we are

For breakfast today she had a slab of Bintang and then the bemused staff helped her wriggle into a bodycon dress, showcasing her botched basketball belly (still swollen from surgery guys). We watched, baffled, as she sashayed across the lawn of a villa capable of accommodating 10 guests. Emmy was there on her lonesome, with a driver who like all her other ride or dies, was paid to accompany her.

With a couple more days at Leah's dad's wellness retreat, the future of this thread looks bright! Have at it, Tattlers

Thank you for the new thread

 

[Director of Mugs]

Thanks for the new thread and recap @SnarkyTart

 

[SnarkyTart]

@Sure...Media! we are not worthy you have an unbelievable gift - I am dying Your recaps are my new favourite literature.

 

[Icantlookaway]

This recrap is bought brought to you by the letter D

Thank you to all the artistic creatives who submitted the bewdiful artworks for our last thread. Just to be clear, this is an intern position so you’re only getting paid in exposure. It’ll be great for your resume. I may offer one of you a proper paid EA job… but your qualifications need to include either a daddy with an overseas resort or a young niece with a boyfriend.

How exciting was the Chemist Warehouse showcase? So so bewdiful. We noticed there was some spare room up the back. Hopefully it gets leased out to someone who does injectables or something. The Bondi Protein guy was genuinely impressed when EmmyLouoneword told him all about the time she was an instructor at the Top Gun academy.

Winter has set in. Time to mothball the midriffs. Namaste away from the family and have another holiday. EL gathered her best summer gear from her floordrobe and smooshed it in to a suitcase. There might even be time to reignite her career as a skydiving instructor.

Taking a well earned break from her studies as a paramedic, she found a few spare days up her sleeve, packed her dental floss and hopped on a Balinese plane to stay in a Balinese villa in some unknown country. Turns out the dental floss can double as underwear. Macgyver move right there. THERE’S A MASSIVE LIZARD!

On her first health retreat this week, ol’ mate asked for her vitamin C but the language barrier proved insurmountable. Ketut provided her plenty of nutritional drinks and a bewdiful dragon fruit bowl but no one could understand through the tears that when she was a buyer for a pharmacy, all the vitamin C came in a 190gm party bag. She looks so hot today. Like a sunrise. Rhonda was not happy.

There was a conspicuous lack of others on this retreat but we finally worked out why. We’re in the 23rd century and she’s Bruce Willis’ co star in The 5th Element. The plot line is something about defeating a cosmic evil force during an apocalyptic war. Explains all the vag baiting and crystals. Clearly Taurus is in Uranus at the moment.

At Udbud (pronounced “Oodbood”, same inflection as “ciao peppay”) she enjoyed a big bowl of broth with soup. Oh my goodness! Can’t wait to see that in the next cook book. So divine.

Normally a fan of autobiographies, our mate decided she just needed some fiction escapism to read by the pool to help remove her from the current headspace she’s in. Meanwhile the staff at Bookphobia high-fived themselves to sleep when they found just the book for Her.

We enjoyed the comfort of an Insta live. We all got a little shoutout and it was just divine to finally be acknowledged as one of the tribe. You saved our lives my Bintang Banana! Coz that’s what you do on an expensive recuperative trip. Hang with a bunch of strangers online, dodge the good questions and bore them to sleep. For those of us who stayed up long enough, we enjoyed an authentic mukbang experience. Reminds us of that time she was a welterweight boxer.

Now she’s found her voice, who knows what she’s been talking out of for the last decade.
On this cold winter night we’re all inspired suddenly to snuggle down and cook a pork roast. Weird. We were all vegan the other day.

Anyway ladies, you’ve all been asking in my DMs and I’m ready to deliver! Our first annual tribe holiday to Lake Locopomo is only 3 weeks away!! Just in time for school holidays. Please remember to pack your mammary macrame bikini, size down on any coats and fast track your passports.

You've done it again! Funny as duck! thank you

@Sure...Media! we are not worthy you have an unbelievable gift - I am dying Your recaps are my new favourite literature.

I would say Sure has a way with words

 

[SnarkyTart]

I would say Sure has a way with words

For Sure I just wish I could tag them properly, for some reason their name doesn't show up when I start typing.

 

[screenfreelookatme]

Thank you @SnarkyTart for the new thread and @Sure…Media! for another brilliant recap! Who knows what the next “few days” will hold!

 

[itsspelleddivinenotdevine]

(still swollen from surgery guys)

I wonder how long this excuse is going to be trotted out and when she will just admit that this is what her body looks like now and she didn’t get the flat stomach she thought she was buying.

 

[Director of Mugs]

Finally, it worked!

Bali, banana, bum wiggle walk!

 

[CouldSizeDown]

This recrap is bought brought to you by the letter D

Thank you to all the artistic creatives who submitted the bewdiful artworks for our last thread. Just to be clear, this is an intern position so you’re only getting paid in exposure. It’ll be great for your resume. I may offer one of you a proper paid EA job… but your qualifications need to include either a daddy with an overseas resort or a young niece with a boyfriend.

How exciting was the Chemist Warehouse showcase? So so bewdiful. We noticed there was some spare room up the back. Hopefully it gets leased out to someone who does injectables or something. The Bondi Protein guy was genuinely impressed when EmmyLouoneword told him all about the time she was an instructor at the Top Gun academy.

Winter has set in. Time to mothball the midriffs. Namaste away from the family and have another holiday. EL gathered her best summer gear from her floordrobe and smooshed it in to a suitcase. There might even be time to reignite her career as a skydiving instructor.

Taking a well earned break from her studies as a paramedic, she found a few spare days up her sleeve, packed her dental floss and hopped on a Balinese plane to stay in a Balinese villa in some unknown country. Turns out the dental floss can double as underwear. Macgyver move right there. THERE’S A MASSIVE LIZARD!

On her first health retreat this week, ol’ mate asked for her vitamin C but the language barrier proved insurmountable. Ketut provided her plenty of nutritional drinks and a bewdiful dragon fruit bowl but no one could understand through the tears that when she was a buyer for a pharmacy, all the vitamin C came in a 190gm party bag. She looks so hot today. Like a sunrise. Rhonda was not happy.

There was a conspicuous lack of others on this retreat but we finally worked out why. We’re in the 23rd century and she’s Bruce Willis’ co star in The 5th Element. The plot line is something about defeating a cosmic evil force during an apocalyptic war. Explains all the vag baiting and crystals. Clearly Taurus is in Uranus at the moment.

At Udbud (pronounced “Oodbood”, same inflection as “ciao peppay”) she enjoyed a big bowl of broth with soup. Oh my goodness! Can’t wait to see that in the next cook book. So divine.

Normally a fan of autobiographies, our mate decided she just needed some fiction escapism to read by the pool to help remove her from the current headspace she’s in. Meanwhile the staff at Bookphobia high-fived themselves to sleep when they found just the book for Her.

We enjoyed the comfort of an Insta live. We all got a little shoutout and it was just divine to finally be acknowledged as one of the tribe. You saved our lives my Bintang Banana! Coz that’s what you do on an expensive recuperative trip. Hang with a bunch of strangers online, dodge the good questions and bore them to sleep. For those of us who stayed up long enough, we enjoyed an authentic mukbang experience. Reminds us of that time she was a welterweight boxer.

Now she’s found her voice, who knows what she’s been talking out of for the last decade.
On this cold winter night we’re all inspired suddenly to snuggle down and cook a pork roast. Weird. We were all vegan the other day.

Anyway ladies, you’ve all been asking in my DMs and I’m ready to deliver! Our first annual tribe holiday to Lake Locopomo is only 3 weeks away!! Just in time for school holidays. Please remember to pack your mammary macrame bikini, size down on any coats and fast track your passports.

I'm absolutely wheezing ...

 

[Michy02]

I’m dying!

She’s taken a break from her (12 year) Paramedic course, Bintang Banana, Villa Daddy, Broken-hearted Banshee! (All potential new usernames)

Ladies you have done it again! @SnarkyTart + @Sure…Media!

 

[Super Cute]

This recrap is bought brought to you by the letter D

Thank you to all the artistic creatives who submitted the bewdiful artworks for our last thread. Just to be clear, this is an intern position so you’re only getting paid in exposure. It’ll be great for your resume. I may offer one of you a proper paid EA job… but your qualifications need to include either a daddy with an overseas resort or a young niece with a boyfriend.

How exciting was the Chemist Warehouse showcase? So so bewdiful. We noticed there was some spare room up the back. Hopefully it gets leased out to someone who does injectables or something. The Bondi Protein guy was genuinely impressed when EmmyLouoneword told him all about the time she was an instructor at the Top Gun academy.

Winter has set in. Time to mothball the midriffs. Namaste away from the family and have another holiday. EL gathered her best summer gear from her floordrobe and smooshed it in to a suitcase. There might even be time to reignite her career as a skydiving instructor.

Taking a well earned break from her studies as a paramedic, she found a few spare days up her sleeve, packed her dental floss and hopped on a Balinese plane to stay in a Balinese villa in some unknown country. Turns out the dental floss can double as underwear. Macgyver move right there. THERE’S A MASSIVE LIZARD!

On her first health retreat this week, ol’ mate asked for her vitamin C but the language barrier proved insurmountable. Ketut provided her plenty of nutritional drinks and a bewdiful dragon fruit bowl but no one could understand through the tears that when she was a buyer for a pharmacy, all the vitamin C came in a 190gm party bag. She looks so hot today. Like a sunrise. Rhonda was not happy.

There was a conspicuous lack of others on this retreat but we finally worked out why. We’re in the 23rd century and she’s Bruce Willis’ co star in The 5th Element. The plot line is something about defeating a cosmic evil force during an apocalyptic war. Explains all the vag baiting and crystals. Clearly Taurus is in Uranus at the moment.

At Udbud (pronounced “Oodbood”, same inflection as “ciao peppay”) she enjoyed a big bowl of broth with soup. Oh my goodness! Can’t wait to see that in the next cook book. So divine.

Normally a fan of autobiographies, our mate decided she just needed some fiction escapism to read by the pool to help remove her from the current headspace she’s in. Meanwhile the staff at Bookphobia high-fived themselves to sleep when they found just the book for Her.

We enjoyed the comfort of an Insta live. We all got a little shoutout and it was just divine to finally be acknowledged as one of the tribe. You saved our lives my Bintang Banana! Coz that’s what you do on an expensive recuperative trip. Hang with a bunch of strangers online, dodge the good questions and bore them to sleep. For those of us who stayed up long enough, we enjoyed an authentic mukbang experience. Reminds us of that time she was a welterweight boxer.

Now she’s found her voice, who knows what she’s been talking out of for the last decade.
On this cold winter night we’re all inspired suddenly to snuggle down and cook a pork roast. Weird. We were all vegan the other day.

Anyway ladies, you’ve all been asking in my DMs and I’m ready to deliver! Our first annual tribe holiday to Lake Locopomo is only 3 weeks away!! Just in time for school holidays. Please remember to pack your mammary macrame bikini, size down on any coats and fast track your passports.

You. Are. bleeping. Brilliant.

Congrats and terima kasih to @Scaredweirdlittleguy for our 25th thread title

This thread is bought to you by the letter B, in honour of Bali, bananas, Big Bird and Emmylou's abominable style.

The boorish bully surprised us all and took her clown show on the road, arriving in Udbud, Bali. Our brokenhearted banshee was treated to a much needed bath, after which she summoned the strength to go live to her bewdiful bogan community, plus 30 "troll" Tattlers - we know who we are

For breakfast today she had a slab of Bintang and then the bemused staff helped her wriggle into a bodycon dress, showcasing her botched basketball belly (still swollen from surgery guys). We watched, baffled, as she sashayed across the lawn of a villa capable of accommodating 10 guests. Emmy was there on her lonesome, with a driver who like all her other ride or dies, was paid to accompany her.

With a couple more days at Leah's dad's wellness retreat, the future of this thread looks bright! Have at it, Tattlers

Take a bow my Tattler friend, take a bow

 

[mackabonz]

*SIGH*

When will this stupid f$&k hire a stylist. Can you imagine the shame she brings to her kids?! Like 10000000% Camila and Vida be giving her side eye.

Please for the love of god… take some tips from stace McGregor who’s a larger woman that looks absolute in whatever she wears.

In this situation, less is NOT more!! like sorry but your skin is trying to escape from the prison of sizing down!! #freetheflapsandsizeup

 

[Michy02]

Omg! Now we know why she’s asked for her ‘driver’ to be on standby all night…

 

[veganchickenwings]

Prices at the villa Sesah starts at $4400 a night!!!!

None of her bogan tribe are going to fork out for that so why waste a gifted trip on her?

PS Emmy, I only work part time and it’s bloody hard work trying to catch up on 15 pages of tattle after I’ve been working like a mad dog during a 10 hour shift, so please save your bullshit for my days off because this is too much to catch up on

 

[longtimegomireader]

Obviously agree with everyone, what the duck is she wearing?!! It doesn’t suit you honey!! I can’t with that baby voice. The walk? What the duck. That poor cameraman. “This way this way” argh shut up! Surely she must feel lonely staying at a 10 people place and she’s by herself. That will send her even more off the deep end I think that realisation that she is alone with her phone and no family or friends

 

[Michy02]

Prices at the villa Sesah starts at $4400 a night!!!!

None of her bogan tribe are going to fork out for that so why waste a gifted trip on her?

PS Emmy, I only work part time and it’s bloody hard work trying to catch up on 15 pages of tattle after I’ve been working like a mad dog during a 10 hour shift, so please save your bullshit for my days off because this is too much to catch up on

All that luxury and I promise there’s no where I’d rather be than putting my child to bed and reading her a story and getting a bedtime cuddle. She’s got three gorgeous kids and she would rather prance about an empty villa!

10 room villa all to herself - that actually sounds sad and lonely. No one to share dinner or a glass of wine or a slab of Bintang! Boring!!