Elle Darby #23 Up the duff, Con's had enough, why's the dog always sniffing her muff?
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Saw this on IG
The only real update is that con has moved on from Elle and onto Herby or whatever the dogs called
I'll give it a go!
Despite being totally exhausted from pregnancy Elle manages to visit Primark on opening day and drag her pregnant ass to every pub garden in the local area for three consecutive lunchdates.
Elle continues to lie about her size and still claims she's a size 10 even while pregnant. She's a medical marvel! She's discovered the secret to the perfect diet. You know those "Weight loss coaches dislike her!" clickbait articles? It's Elle.
One-cup Con and Belly go off to London for the weekend now restrictions are lifted. Con is interviewed about his hair transplant and can't sit still on a swivel chair during the interview. I'm not sure what's more distracting - the swivelling or his ghoulish complexion.
Elle buys a load of baby clothes from Zara while in London and pretends Katie picked them out for a video. She gets very jealous when Katie starts talking about Zoella being pregnant.
Elle unintentionally dresses up as Roger from American Dad. It's bonkers!
Her and Count Con pop off to the seaside for her last Angelle Collection shoot before she goes on "Maternity Leave" (don't you actually have to work to have maternity leave?)
She films a vlog with a segment on her
new stretch marks like that's something new and interesting for her teenage viewers 
Everything is beige. The clothes, the food, the house. It's like Mad Max but there's baby clothes and dog tit everywhere.
Let me know if I missed anything important!
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Oh My Goodness! Hello Angles, you're all my BEST friends. I've missed you all SO much!!
Please PLEASE buy my overpricedleft over stock Merch so I can spend more money on Pregnancy Specific Deliveroo for Baby Boyyyy's essential nutrients. Ignore the jealous reviews on Trustpilot, they're just horrendous trolls who all need to take a long walk, like I do every day with my two furry boys and my hunky DIY Dreamboat Babydaddy.
Ya Gal's been #gifted a pram worth approx £1,000. Money which I won't be able to donate to a baby charity as payback, because as you know me and One Cup Con Job don't take a salary from Angellehell Collection and any money we do make has to go on essential items like weekly shopping, Primark hauls, white company candles and dominoes cookies.
Please PLEASE buy my overpriced
Ya Gal's been #gifted a pram worth approx £1,000. Money which I won't be able to donate to a baby charity as payback, because as you know me and One Cup Con Job don't take a salary from Angellehell Collection and any money we do make has to go on essential items like weekly shopping, Primark hauls, white company candles and dominoes cookies.
Just want to say this info is sooooo outdated in regards to amount u “should” be putting on, I know people (including myself) who eat healthy and still put on a lot of weight when pregnant, even girls that are size 6-8 beforehand (actually 6-8 not Lying haha!) can put on 40-50lbs when pregnant then go back to 6-8 after pregnancy. It’s how your body reacts to pregnancy (and in no way defending Elle here btw as we know she eats all sorts lol it’s more because I’m pregnant and know this guideline isn’t necessarily the case)
I know nothing about pregnancy but my friend at work was always a teeny size 6, not unwell or super skinny looking just really tiny build, ate well and exercised, (very jealous) lol! But she was HUGE by the end of her pregnancy, not all over but mygod her bump was the most freakishly massive bump I’ve ever seen bless her! She struggled, because she had been so small and the bump was so large and heavy! Totally average size baby popped out though and she is now (annoyingly) back to her usual size 6/8 clothes
although does have a hernia and ripped all her stomach muscles apart due the amount her stomach grew....so maybe not so jealous! But honestly I never would have thought someone so tiny could expand so much! And she def wasn’t eating for two! 
it scared me! And her! Lol!omg yes my partner’s step sister is the same! That’s why a lot of midwives and drs are saying the guidelines are outdated when it comes to pregnancy weight etc some still go by it I suppose because of old fashioned views etcI know nothing about pregnancy but my friend at work was always a teeny size 6, not unwell or super skinny looking just really tiny build, ate well and exercised, (very jealous) lol! But she was HUGE by the end of her pregnancy, not all over but mygod her bump was the most freakishly massive bump I’ve ever seen bless her! She struggled, because she had been so small and the bump was so large and heavy! Totally average size baby popped out though and she is now (annoyingly) back to her usual size 6/8 clothes
but of course this is only if u genuinely aren’t eating crazy amounts or really unhealthy food every day haha
Inflated ego and inflated sense of self 10 - 15 pounds!!
Thanks guys now I know for a fact I'm never getting pregnant after this 
between these stories and seeing Elle turn being pregnant into a terminal illness and personality trait, I'm removing all reproductive organs in my body
between these stories and seeing Elle turn being pregnant into a terminal illness and personality trait, I'm removing all reproductive organs in my body
Just don’t do anything carby does and you’ll be just fineThanks guys now I know for a fact I'm never getting pregnant after this
Carby hahahahaha, good one!!!!!!Just don’t do anything carby does and you’ll be just fine
Hahaha why is she saying that Bath is home to her? Doesn’t she live in Westbury? I go to bath quite often myself and I live like 15 mins away, but that doesn’t mean I’d call the place my home 
That makes two of us! I’ve never wanted kids really or shall we say I’ve been been fussed. If I was with someone who wanted them I’d go with it and if they didn’t, then that would also be ok, possibly not the best way to think about it but I don’t have a maternal bone in my body aside from my pets and I don’t really fancy it to be honest! Just the thought of squeezing something so big out of such a small hole is more than enough to put me off for life! I also work in a job where I’ve read enough horror stories about prolapses and insides falling outside and god knows what that I just don’t think I ever want to put myself through that! Ever!Thanks guys now I know for a fact I'm never getting pregnant after this
terrified would be the word I would us to describe how I would feel about actually having to give birth! Or even be pregnant!Saaaaame!Hahaha why is she saying that Bath is home to her? Doesn’t she live in Westbury? I go to bath quite often myself and I live like 15 mins away, but that doesn’t mean I’d call the place my home
cos westbury isn’t as good an aesthetic for the DarbyHahaha why is she saying that Bath is home to her? Doesn’t she live in Westbury? I go to bath quite often myself and I live like 15 mins away, but that doesn’t mean I’d call the place my home
Oh god 100% - Bath is very popular and so pretty, hence why she calls her “home”, prime example tho of how fake she is
Ah where abouts?!
was
I thought Bath was her ‘hometown’ but I might be wrongHahaha why is she saying that Bath is home to her? Doesn’t she live in Westbury? I go to bath quite often myself and I live like 15 mins away, but that doesn’t mean I’d call the place my home
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